I was pretty stunned and I spent the rest of the afternoon laughing. So, what happened today? Well, I went downtown to meet up with my ex-boss for lunch. Oh, also as I was walking a homeless guy came up to me and asked for change. And you know me and homeless people. I NEVER say no EVER! I usually buy them food when I am in the market or somewhere where there is food stand. So I just gave him a $5 bill and his face glowed from the shock. I smiled back and said, “your welcome.”

Anyways, my ex-boss came out and then we started walking to find a place to eat, and then he asks me something really really weird.

He said, “how do you say worm in Arabic?”

I said, “hmm… why? You know someone that looks like a worm? Worm is ‘duda’ in Arabic.

He said, “yah. I saw a Duda last week. A pretty disgusting one too.”

I said, “what? Who?”

He said, “I was just going to grab a shawarma and I saw HIM! You know.. and he just came up to me, and started a conversation and I couldn’t figure out who he was. His head was shaved and he looked nasty, like a worm. That’s what I am calling him from now on.”

I said, “ok…”

What was I supposed to say? I just started laughing in my head. I know I hate his guts for a million and a half reasons, but hearing it from my ex-boss was beyond hilarious that I had to share it with the world. I wanted to say to him, “yah.. I agree! That’s why he is such a loser and getting engaged to some girl he doesn’t know from far away in another country cause no girl here would want him.”

Seriously.. good riddance to bad rubbish. Bleaaaah.. Oh by the way, I REALLY hate guys who shave their heads or smoke or drink or whatever AND are lying mother fucking bastards.

Yes I am prejudice. SUE ME!

Oh well.. that was the highlight of my day!

Link to this post  •  No comments yet

What will happen with the world if people started thinking and actually questioning everything that goes around them?

The media has blinded millions of people of the truth because most of the population of the world doesn’t think or doesn’t want to think. What will happen if each of them started to use their intelligence and question the illogical? Wouldn’t that be the day. I think revolution wouldn’t be enough to describe what will happen, and not even a rebellion. Maybe it will be something more. A world wide change of the injustice and media influence. People will not be silent anymore.

Do you ever think of what’s going on in the world and say, “why“?

Link to this post  •  5 comments

This is me. A girl named Mona who was a Palestenian refugee who has immigrated to Canada.

Why did I move to Canada?
Long time ago, 60 years today, my family’s home was taken away.

Did I have to come here?
Yes. I had no where else left to go.

Why did this have to happen to me?
I am not the only one. There are thousands of us who were born refugees and traveled the world to find a home.

What do I represent?
I represent my self, a Palestenian with hot blood through my veins and a voice to speak about my existence. I am Palestenian. I will always be one. I was born as one, and will die as one.

It has been 60 years since my home was taken away, isn’t that too much?

I may be one person. I am not a celebrity or someone who is famous and well known. However, I have the right to speak out when I say, “we had enough!”

Please watch all the videos to understand who we are and what happened to us.

Link to this post  •  1 comment

So I made a video of a blogger blogging on TV of the joys of being home!

It’s great not being at work that I had to make a video about the awesomeness of sitting at home!

Link to this post  •  11 comments

The worst thing about work is not your co-workers. Actually, your co-workers are the cherry on the pie. They make it all fancy, bitter sweet and first thing you eat before you continue you on to the good stuff. Why am I talking about pies? I ate too much and I think I need a bucket of sweet fudge so I can complete the digestion.

So, is there anything really good about work? Not really, but with everything bad, there has to be something a lot worse. WAY worse.

Let’s talk about public washrooms. In any work place or any public place, you got to share the washroom with someone else. Where I work it is pretty disgusting and lots of old people use it. I mean old! I would label them as people in the edge of retirement. Moreover, I get grossed out really quickly. I mean real quick that I actually make vomit noises. Not BLAH, but BLAAHHHHHH!!

So what did I do to resolve my public washroom phobia and utter disgust. I picked the last stall in the washroom, and I found a trick to close the door from the outside so it will look like it is out of order. That way no one can use it during the day except me. I know it has been cleaned cause those lazy custodians do open everything and report everything that is out of order. Well, this stall of mine I labeled it with a MONA. Stamped and approved by ME! I hate public washrooms so much, and I had to resolve this problem in any way possible. Even if it means that I got to use the most stealthy, and ruthless methods to do so. It is a solution, and it WORKS just damn fine.

Link to this post  •  5 comments

I have been getting emails and comments from people asking why I have been mentioning marriage a lot the past few days.

Did I ever say I was getting married?

Did I ever say I got engaged?

Did I ever say that some crazy messed up dude actually likes me?

Am I the selfish one, and that’s why I have been trying to get advice about the topic?

You know what’s funny. My best friend called me last night around 11:00 pm angry. I even saw an angry facebook message on my wall too from her. I was like shit. What the hell happened!?! She was angry cause of what is written on my blog and what the visitors said. My blog has become too personal that I get calls in the middle of the night about it. Good thing I have ONE best friend who reads my blog every day. Can you imagine anymore of my friends reading it daily? Anyways, after our short but awesome conversation with me half asleep and talking through my pillow she asked, “is that post about selfishness about me? AM I SELFISH?” I said, “no!!!!!!!!”

Then this morning I open up my email box with 12309182903 emails saying, “you getting married? Are you selfish?”

I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED. MY BEST FRIEND IS NOT GETTING MARRIED! IT WAS JUST A RHETORICAL QUESTION. That’s all!

So you people who are on crack just like me, PLEASE STOP making obscure assumptions. I am not getting married and I am the last person on earth to be selfish.

Link to this post  •  8 comments

Do selfish girls ever get married? Same goes for guys.

Hmm??

Link to this post  •  8 comments

I came up with a list of wedding songs in the past, but then I thought to my self, meh, the odds of me ever getting married anytime in the near future is slim to none. According to Arabian culture, I am not desirably fair skinned and light eyed, and I am way expired. My expiry date was December 23, 2003. That’s when I turned 23 and I became at the edge of too old to be eligible for marriage. Ok, some may argue 24, but common, 24 is not the same as 23. IT’S ON YEAR OLDER! Your skin is sagging by then and can’t have kids!

So, I may not appear to be the patriotic Palestinian as I am required to be. With my blog I feel I have to live up to a standard. I swear it is getting difficult. Anyways, 3 more days to go for our gloomy celebration of being the world travelers because we got kicked out of our homes. 60 years! 60!

Anyways, I decided this. For the crazy patriotic Palestinian brotha from anotha motha who will end up marrying me, we will be playing and singing the national anthem of Palestine no matter what. I am sorry, but it is a rule. Can’t have a Palestinian wedding without the anthem playing. That’s a big no no and a bad omen to the marriage!!

Link to this post  •  2 comments

This is long over due for sure. A nice fan named Geena asked me about Arab beauty and how it is perceived in our culture. Oh what a topic I thought to my self. After all the shit load of nonsense I have been writing on my site I failed to mention one of the most important cultural upheavals in the Arab world!

She asked me a lot of questions and mailed me a word document of them. I was like wow. This is professional work. She spent the time writing and making it worth while, and I got to make all the time in the world! I mean it, ALL THE TIME minus those hours when I actually sleep and dream of world domination. However, that’s another story I shall discuss later.

She asked …….

1. Does the current image of Arab beauty include all complexions of Arabs? Does it include ‘typical’ Arab facial features including dark eyes, dark hair, noses, lips, etc.

Arab beauty has changed so much in the media and within our own culture. Arab women are obsessed with marrying off their sons to gorgeous model type girls with blue eyes and light hair thinking that their offspring will inherit the recessive genes and become one too. It’s funny, I will tell you a story actually. We know this family who’s daughter is very pretty. Petite, light eyes, hazel green, and just plain pretty. She married an ok looking guy and his family are ok looking too. They are ordinary and not wow you know. Well, since I studied Biology and know a bit about genetics and disproving any cultural obsession, brown eyes and being a bit tan is a DOMINANT trait! We are dominant and that’s why most of us are DARK! So her new born daughter who is one now looks 100% like the father’s family.

Anyways, what’s wrong with being dark, gorgeous, and have wide mysterious Arabian eyes? We look good for a reason! That’s why the western world has an obsession with tanning salons. Tan looks GOOD!

2. Is there a preferred body shape/size?

Petite, 120 pounds, anorexic is good because moms have something to nag about before the wedding.

3. If not, how do you feel about the obsession with light-skin and the pervasiveness of fair-skinned Arab celebs?

They are all fake, what’s there to like? Why would such an extravagant culture such as the Arabian world want the same looking girls? It’s like they all go to the same plastic surgeon. All the same NOSE and big bloated lips! I bet they also do what Michael Jackson did with his skin, remove all the pigments!

4. Is the obsession for fair skin equally demanding on men?

Men? They can be hideous looking and they still want to marry a gorgeous fair skinned girl so the gene pool of their family would change. They seriously need to study genetics and maybe do what Michael Jackson did.

5. How do you feel about bleaching crème? Is it as popular in the Middle East as it is in countries like India?

Hmm, bleach is normal in the Arab world to lighten the hair on the arms and face. That’s about it. But really would not change the skin colour obviously!

6. What are your views about the typical Eurocentric look that many (if not most) Arab celebrities have?

The whole world is a global village now and everyone dresses and acts the same. The problem I see with celebrities that they don’t represent the Arab world at all. They represent them selves only so they can become famous outside the Arab world by looking and acting like them.

7. Is there a silent rule within the Arab entertainment industry about a certain ‘look’ someone is supposed to have in order to succeed?

Perfection is what they aim for. The look has to be perfect. Lots of makeup, large eyes, light skin, and light eyes. Anything that will grab men’s attention so the revenue in anything they try to represent in the media will increase!

8. I have found from a search on pre-colonial Arab beauty standards that Islamic poets praised brown Arab women with dark eyes and hair before the arrival of Euro rule after which light eyes, hair and skin began to be favored. Link What are your thoughts on this?

MEN! That’s all I can say. They just want something different to what they are accustomed to. That’s all.

9. Do you know other Arabs feelings on this issue? If so, what?

It’s not any girl’s fault that she is born with darker skin, brown eyes, and dark hair. God made her this way, so why does society have to hate such common trait? If Arabs are so proud to be Arabic, then why are they not proud of the way they look?

I like the way I look. I am tan, have big brown eyes, and dark brown hair. I look like an Arab and I say I am Arab. I just happen to have a kick ass international name to accompany it. MONA!! Oh, you should ask about the name changes that Arabs do too. They love western names and change it to that. Aah Arabs. Why you people changed so much?

Updated: I was checking out my stats, and Marianna has posted a link to this post of mine on a forum. I was like wow. Pretty awesome I say.

Link to this post  •  10 comments

My mom is planning to go to Lebanon with my sister and brother’s wife and daughter in mid June. However, the country is a chaos. My mom keeps saying, “oh it is ok.. this will end soon.” I am like, “aha.” You want to take the little crazy sister of mine to that horrible country. Go ahead.. you will be sorry!

Good thing I decided and I refuse to go. Lebanon is the biggest mess in history. That country is like 200km wide. Like from my city to Toronto and has more problems than 10 countries combined. See what happens when religion, politics, and power get mixed. They cause HAVOC!

Thank God I live in Canada cause I am sick of the wars in the middle east. All fighting for power and money instead of fighting against one common enemy!

Link to this post  •  7 comments

I am watching the Food Network and they had this clip from a diner called the Squeeze Inn in Sacramento that serves extreme cheese burgers. LOOK at the cheese!

I donno if I would enjoy the meat at all with all that CHEDDAR CHEESE!

Here is a video of how it is made.

Link to this post  •  9 comments

I was doing some research about historical articles or some facts about Palestine. I was checking out random sites, especially Wikipedia for some tid bits to talk about. I was surprised. I know Palestine (Filistine) is an ancient land that suffered wars, cultural European influences, etc. I know that. However, I keep reading a biased view that the people of Palestine are not native of the soil and of Indo-European decent. They were called the sea people and even ancient Egyptians were afraid of them. Ok, so let’s say we were European. Most of the original inhabits have migrated from Greece. Well duh, we were conquered by the Greeks for years! That’s where the name Filistine came from. However, we were also conquered afterwards by so many ruling powers such as Romans, Egyptians, Babylonians, Arabs, Turks, British, and now Israelis. It’s the land with multiple cultures. If you want to speak of true multiculturalism in the world, you have to point to one place on this earth, Palestine.

However, Arab/Turkish rule was the longest in that land in modern times. Can I say I can trace back my ancestors to be Greek? Not really. I can be more realistic and I can trace back my ancestors to original Arabs from the Arabian peninsula or Turkish. It is more logical, it is more of modern times where the inhabitants were last scene and owned the land. That’s how far I can go. People 3000 years ago didn’t stay in the same spot. Immigration is part of history. You can’t go back 3000 years ago and say that these people are still the same people. It’s so hard to keep track and make a logical conclusion of that.

We are Arabs. That’s it. Our modern language and religion is that of the Arabian people. We are Semitic. I don’t know why the world is trying to dig deep in history to try to disprove that and make us appear as the land didn’t belong to us, but really, aren’t we all humans? Didn’t we really originate from one place? Who cares if we are Semitic or Aryan. We are all humans in God’s eyes and all judged the same. It just happens that we the Palestinians were cursed since ancient times to always suffer due to the significance of our holy land and the never ending conquests. I think we need a brake. Seriously.

Link to this post  •  9 comments

Six years ago, around this time I was hired for this job I am stuck to. It was great till about 5.5 years into it, then it went down hill. I couldn’t believe last year at this time that I was working at the place for 5 years. I was going insane and thought, “wow, I lasted this long?” Then my ex-boss read my blog post and took me out to celebrate me lasting 5 years. I think he just wanted me to not suffer anymore and stay for a bit longer.

I was thinking about my life, will I ever get married and last this long? I don’t think I can. Jeez. 6 years of anything is too much. I have this constant need for change. Last year 5 years of something was too much.. WAY too much. If something you have been doing for so long doesn’t give you the satisfaction to excel, then really, it becomes boring, unworthy, and lame. Life becomes meaningless cause of it.

Oh yah, I do suffer from ADHD and I have no patience. I always want to get things done quickly and move on to new things. I am hyper active!

Link to this post  •  9 comments

I am completely lost. I really am. I don’t feel like my self anymore. I forgot who I am, and what I tried to pursue in life. I keep thinking that no, I want to shape up my destiny. I want to control it, but I can’t. I am just really depressed and very stressed out. It’s not just work, but life in general. I want a change and need a chance so badly and so quickly. I think it is just patience. I lost every ounce of it and it is making me depressed!

Ahh.. I am just going to sleep. I will go to work tomorrow and will say… TGIF! TIGF!!

Link to this post  •  5 comments

I got many emails and many post ideas to talk about. Some people emailed me with great questions that needs to be addressed. Well, actually my opinion about some issues need to be addressed, and I just haven’t been motivated to write much. I wanted to write every day about Palestine, but I don’t know if I can today. I have just been feeling sick. Not only that, the room that we were deported to at work has the worst heating problem on earth. It feels like over 30c in here and I complained and I complained, but no one wants to do anything. I am having hard time opening my eyes, and no, I am not physically sick that I can’t walk or talk like some people think. I am just tired and unhappy. I have no joy in life anymore, and I feel lost and confused.

The atmosphere, the unrewarding pointless work here, and the lack of work ethics this place has, is making me sick day after day. Every day I just go in, and just sit there counting the minutes till I leave. Right now I got 29 minutes to go.

Link to this post  •  3 comments

I am home sick. I have been sick and sniffly all day. I had an odd morning, and I just got more and more sick as the day passed. Yesterday wasn’t any better. I go to work now a days just sitting there counting the minutes till I leave. I actually stare at the phone’s clock cause it is more accurate than my laptop. (Accurate as in one minute ahead!)

I am causing my self daily migraines and hate of what I do in life. I feel I am trapped in a never ending battle of this thing called work. I don’t think I hated my self and this job as much as I have the past 3 weeks. It became unbearable. I used to love it. I used to wake up every morning in a hurry to just go to work and do great things and have an objective. Now, I got nothing. I am just getting paid to just count the minutes to go home. It is frustrating. I feel I am cheating my self and I am earning money for nothing.

I was seriously considering last week to resign from my job. I was at the edge and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I even thought that if I took a vacation than I would have to go back to the same thing again. So it was pointless. I wanted to detach my self from that place so badly. I even had a resignation letter prepared. (This is what happens when you don’t sleep.)

Yesterday and today were one of those edgy days. I couldn’t even eat. I have no joy in anything and I just want to cry. I think I am slowly loosing my patience and my sanity, or whatever is left of them.

Link to this post  •  9 comments

I know I have been preoccupied with my life and stuff that I have been ignoring the real issue with my people. Palestine 60 year occupation is on May 15, 2008. I will have a post about Palestine every day for the next 8 days. I think most of you have been waiting for me to talk about this. I definetly have been getting a mass of complaints from people of why I am not talking about Palestine. I was trying to make a point that my blog is NOT political but just ME. I was just waiting for the right moment to begin writing about it. So today I will begin discussing it briefly. I will not get into detail of the whole conflict, you can look it up your self, but general history of my land and me.

Who am I?

I am born a Palestinian refugee. That’s what it said on my birth certificate and the passport that the Lebanese government has given my family and me. My parents are not born in Palestine because they are born after 1948 in Lebanon in refugee camps.

Where am I from?

I am from a town near Akka (Acre). The norther most city in Palestine. It is famous for its high walls and stopping Napoleon and his troops from entering the holy land back in the days.

I have never seen Palestine, although I can go now to it since I am Canadian, but am I willing to leave it? That’s my problem. If I step foot in my land I will refuse to leave it and I will demand everything back that belongs to me and my family. But reality stinks, and that won’t happen that easily. So my people are all over the world. Name a country, and they are most likely there. We are the world travelers. We were forced out of our lands and we are permeated everywhere on God’s green earth. At least when I die everyone can proudly say she was born a Palestinian and died a Palestinian.

I will show a video everyday pertaining to the occupation at various points in history. This video is of Palestine in 1948. I translated the song on the bottom. Let’s see how well my Arabic is! If anyone can translate it better, then please post a better translation. Remember, last time I learned Arabic when I was 11 years old. Now I am 27!

Link to this post  •  4 comments

I really needed chocolate today.. I REALLY REALLY DID!

ANNOYING CHOCOLATE SONG

I just noticed that after hearing this song more than 2 times it gets fucken annoying!

Updated May 7th @ 12:24 pm: I HAD TO REMOVE THE SONG AND I AM JUST PUTTING A LINK TO IT. IT’S SO ANNOYING TO BE VISIBLE ON MY SITE. I am getting TORTURED by it!

Link to this post  •  6 comments

One woman I keep seeing every day has white long hair and a big grin! HUGE GRIN! I don’t know what’s wrong with her. Even when she is silent and barely gazing, her mouth is in a huge grin like shape. I keep looking in astonishment wondering if she kept doing that all through her young years and it got STUCK! An ever lasting grin.

I think people will really take offense of her at a funeral.

Another woman I saw on the bus made me wonder about her style. She had no style. Well boy style. I didn’t want to even wonder what her sexual orientation is, but to me, any woman that wears men’s jeans is strange. I don’t care how much you weigh, even if it is close to half a ton, there are clothes made for women! Even plain wide no shape at all jeans that are made for women!

I really didn’t want to see the tag of her Levi jeans with the size displaying 44in x 30in. I really didn’t want to see it! Even if you are a guy and wear that size, go for a jog why don’t you!?

Link to this post  •  7 comments

I want to comment about the poll I made yesterday. Seriously, I am speechless. Equal answers almost.

I sit at work half asleep and counting the minutes to leave!

Thank God Monday is OVER!! I don’t know how I am going to survive the rest of the week!