Well. what am I to think of? What do I have to look forward to or plan to do next year? I never obey with it anyways. I will list some things anyways.

1. Life sucks. Need to change it.
2. Be more blunt and say what I have to say when needed.
3. Be nicer to people who deserve it after careful consideration.
4. I will never trust anyone unless they are worth it.
5. I want to dress up and look pretty all the time. Look good 24/7 for no one but me.
6. Put on nail polish. hehe. (I never do. Maybe I should).
7. Pamper my self with anything my heart desires. I want to live like I am worth a million bucks!
8. Never fall in love again unless the guy loves me for who I am. For next year. No love. Maybe in 2 or 3 years. When I am almost 30 and have enjoyed life and someone loves me and will do anything to be with me. (Beyet7ada el 3alam to be with me. Hey.. I like that song by Saber el roba3i).
9. Listen to music more. MP3z here I come!
10. I used to be called the evil bitch because people were afraid to talk to me and I was not so open. I will go back to being that! People respected me more then and wanted to actually know me more!
11. Talk to more people. Just be a social butterfly and go out all the time. Aahh the good old days!

Hmm.. That is all I can come up with now. Oh yah..
12. Work harder with my business. Two incomes is better then one!

No 13. No need to feel gloomy and bad luck for next year. I will end it at 12. Since I am born in the 12th month of the year. And I am posting this message on the last day of the 12th month!

Happy New Year!

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Well.. we just had our new year’s eve dinner. We had the good old (or small) Turkey! Yummy.. Mom makes awsome turkey. I did the mashed potatoes, croissants, gravy, and salad. We tried not to do much cuz we don’t eat that much. The Turkey was so light. I didn’t eat much because I didn’t want to stuff my face with that bird! I felt like sleeping well tonight! Anyways… good food. Mom kept saying.. Pray that it will be a good year next year. For me. I wish it will be. I really do. This year has been so bad. Actually the past couple of years have been horrible. I was not happy. So I am trying to be happier and trying to think positively for this up coming year. I am trying really hard to accomplish all my pre-defined goals. I really hope I can be something or someone better. Try to do things a lot better and be successful at the things I am doing.

Thank God for everything!

I will come back with a list of my new year resolution(s). Stuff I want to do and accomplish this year! Inshallah!

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I am fully awake.. I woke up at 8:45. According to my mom I woke up late. Go figure. Anyways, hmm. I am not sure what to say. I watched little TV this morning and had me a cup of tea. I need caffine but not this early in the morning. When I go back to work on Monday it will be caffine city! Aah.. Today it is snowing again. yaay.. snow and cold. Feels like winter again. I can’t stand the heat. I think once it goes over 1 degrees celcius, I feel hot. lol I don’t know why. I think because it started snowing a month ago.. Like since the begining of November we had snow storms and cold weather. Oh well. I wish it is winter all year long. Or at least below 10 degrees. I like that. Less then 10.. Snow I am not too crazy about, but I don’t like rain. Makes me so depressed. Anyways, I been getting so many emails lately and I have not replied to anyone. I need to so I won’t look like a snob.. I am not.. I am just lazy! hehe.

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It has been such a lazy day. I didn’t do anything productive. I been so bored this week. I can’t believe how boring it is. I think it is the weather. Very gloomy. I don’t know. I can’t wait till this week is over and go back to work. Although work may not seem to be the best place on earth, but I got to do what I got to do. Work and live. Need money for survival in this world. I always wondered how life would be if I lived a 100 years ago. Or 200 years ago. At least chatting or internet would not have existed and I would be writing my memoirs. :P hehe.. That would be funny. I think I would have had at least an interesting life back then. Unlike now. I think the life we live in, because we have so much of everything that it has become so boring. Nothing interesting at all. No adventure. Nothing. Hmm. Maybe I am exaggerating. I don’t know. All I know is I would like to go to sleep soon cuz I am super tired. I wake up early. I try not to sleep in and not to stay up late, because waking up at 6:30 am to get ready to be at work at 8:00 am will be such a pain. I had so much coffee today. More then Coca Cola. I think I switched the caffine type dosage today. Oh well. I am done for today. I want to sleep. Nighty night to me and to everyone. Inshallah till tomorrow!

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I think I been to the mall waay too much this week.. What did I buy today.. Hmm.. in Sears they had bed-in-a-bag deal for 40 bucks. It is goldish colour and so so so nice. I couldn’t say no.. mom said take it now! ..ehm ehm.. can’t say no to mom! lol .. anywho.. I been trying to keep my self busy by not sitting on the computer much. Just trying to not keep waiting for someone to talk to me or waiting for anyone. Just chilling checking my email and browsing the net. I want to watch TV now and I am drinking Arabic coffee. Not turkish. 3araby.. The yellow one with spices and stuff.. it is like a drug.. Now I will feel sleepy.. No wonder Arabs always look drugged up sitting in a dewan or majles. Hehehe..

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I have not been happy lately. I am not sure why. I think I keep trying so hard to reach a goal in life. To reach a destination. Like a milestone I am trying to reach. I am not sure why. I don’t know what it is I am looking for. I keep thinking and thinking of so many sad things. About my life. How I turned out to be. After all these years and I feel like I have not accomplished much. I have not reached the point I want to be at. It was not planned this way. I didn’t have a plan. I just had an idea and hope. But I didn’t think very well. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I try so hard and not accomplishing anything of any importance to my life. I want to do something. I was thinking today of my new year’s resolution. For some reason I feel like the next year may be a turn point in my life. I feel like I will be loosing everything that is dear to me. Everything will just go away and I will continue my life alone and wishing that I should have made a different turn in my life a few years ago. I honestly didn’t want to be where I am today. Stuck at the end of the string not knowing when I will be let loose or just fall. I don’t know at all what to do anymore. I dont know. I think I just need to sleep and wish this week will be over soon and go to work and just not think anymore. I don’t want to think or do anything anymore. I’m just tired and sad and lonely.

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Aah.. since when does it rain in December? End of december… It was snowing a month ago.. Actually for the past month.. now it is raining because it is 1 or 2 degrees celcius.. I can see the green grass again.. psssh paaaaaaaaaash.. who wants to see green now.. el denya kanet ma7laha beeeda!! mnawraaa..
Anyways.. I am so bored at home. I wish I was at work. Boring sitting at home. Watched enough TV and musalsalat for one day! eff.. wait.. there is another mosalsal in 20 min.. hehehe.. Anywho.. i am trying today not to sit on the computer much.. just checking email.. checking my websites and filtering people’s comments in my other sites.. ( I have many).. lol ya yah.. hmm…
I will post again later when I am more awake. I just ate lunch.. so I am back to the moody sleepy feeling.. hehe. I met some interesting people from that arablounge site today.. I like talking to other people.. I know there are so many interesting and educated people out there that are worth talking to. London is becoming a boring city with people who only care about themselves and money. I hate money. I want to quit work so I can be lazy bum watching TV all day… I will just be an ebay junkie.. buy and sell stuff and live off that.. I just need enough to pay off my student loans.. So technically.. for me to survive and pay my bills.. I need just 600 bucks a month. That’s it! Simple life.. So should I start the paypal donation button of please please donate for my cause. I want to buy shoes!! looooool

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I woke up a few min ago.. actually an hour ago.. I am still sleepy.. I check my email and I got so many messages from guys from arablounge. I was like wow.. I will reply to everyone.. Just give me a couple of hours to wake up. I like talking to anyone.. You know friendly chats is always cool!
Anyways.. I will come back with more updates. I downloaded lots of stuff to watch and I am currently watching star academy 3.. So I download the episodes cuz I don’t have LBC anymore.

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I just joined http://arablounge.com .. I guess I am just lonely and bored. I want someone to actually like me for whom I am and not how I look like. Even my looks don’t matter cuz I am not all that. But I donno. I am just bored, and lonely.. no one to talk to and share interests with. I donno..

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I guess I don’t. I was told this I think 10 times in the past 2 days by 3 different people. I guess I don’t. I don’t know why. I just have to reply back and disagree. But in reality I do agree but I don’t like to be the weakest link just sitting there being screamed at. I donno. Maybe I have a sucky life and that’s why no one likes me. Oh well. No need to cry and no need to be sad. I can’t change how I am. It’s too late now. I am old and just stubborn. Eh.. I guess I will spend the rest of my life shopping and working as a looser programmer. That’s what I do best.

Aah.. maybe I should be like those arabic girls who listen to music and watch TV all day.. and chat with strangers on yahoo messenger or msn.. Oh wait. I used to be like that. Why did I change? Oh yah.. I ended up liking someone and then he left me.. My life sucks. I want to go to sleep now.

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