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Thinking of tomorrow..

I have not been happy lately. I am not sure why. I think I keep trying so hard to reach a goal in life. To reach a destination. Like a milestone I am trying to reach. I am not sure why. I don’t know what it is I am looking for. I keep thinking and thinking of so many sad things. About my life. How I turned out to be. After all these years and I feel like I have not accomplished much. I have not reached the point I want to be at. It was not planned this way. I didn’t have a plan. I just had an idea and hope. But I didn’t think very well. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I try so hard and not accomplishing anything of any importance to my life. I want to do something. I was thinking today of my new year’s resolution. For some reason I feel like the next year may be a turn point in my life. I feel like I will be loosing everything that is dear to me. Everything will just go away and I will continue my life alone and wishing that I should have made a different turn in my life a few years ago. I honestly didn’t want to be where I am today. Stuck at the end of the string not knowing when I will be let loose or just fall. I don’t know at all what to do anymore. I dont know. I think I just need to sleep and wish this week will be over soon and go to work and just not think anymore. I don’t want to think or do anything anymore. I’m just tired and sad and lonely.

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