Desperate thinking..
No matter how much I try.. no matter what I do with my life. The missing piece has died. I really think so. The only person I loved has really died. Not physically. But to me he no longer exists. I don’t know why I am saying all this now. Maybe because I am sitting here wondering what to do with my life. Wondering how long I will keep remembering and loving someone that really is not there. Just my imagination. Awham. I don’t know. I guess I am just sitting here sad and alone and keep wondering how long I will live like this. I don’t think I want to change the way I am anymore. I think all the things I hoped for and wished for and thought about for hours and hours have all gone. Just vanished. I just can’t imagine my self being happy or really happy anymore. I was at one time in my life. But it all died out. All just a lie or something that probably was never there.
I don’t know. I am just rambling on and on about someone that has died in my heart. No longer exists. I wish I can wake up from this nightmare that I cannot get out of. I wish one day this will all stop.
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Hey,
I was reading ur site and it is pretty interesting, while reading u remind me of my self. Dont waste ur life on something that is dead look at tomorow and i am sure u will find it brighter if u want to. anyway i just wanted to share this litlle talk with u, I am a capricorn my self and it hurts when u lose someone u love more then ur life, well i hope everything will go better then they r now, me i studied in networking worked their for last 5 years got tired of that now working in real estate , i love it, have alot of freedom. Anyway i will let u go, maybe u r tired and i wish u the best and have a nice day i hope it will b better then yesterday. take care
Jafar