I hate that phrase.. “what if?”.. what if what exactly.. go back in the past and change everything.. why do people keep saying what if.. those people who are so unsure of what they want to say or cannot make up their mind.. they keep saying what if this happened.. what if you got this instead.. what if.. it’s so stupid.. people who think like that should be slapped upside the head.. ..

I guess I should slap my self then.. cuz I am guilty of thinking that way too.. what if? What if he still liked me.. what if he one day will like me.. what if things never changed and been happy.. I keep thinking and asking my self these questions daily.. I am sick of thinking.. I feel like I am just getting older and counting the days towards nothing.. what am I counting the days for anyways…? Nothing.. Life has become boring.. I have done pretty much everything that I want so far in life.. that’s it… I know there is more… but what else can I do.. what IF my life was different.. would I have been a different person completely..? I don’t even think I would have this blog because I would not have time to make one.. I wouldn’t write.. I think the reason I got this blog because I have time to write.. yet I don’t care who reads it.. I NEVER go back and READ my blog entries.. never.. even when post post comments I just completely forget what they are commenting about.. I wish I can write more then I do.. more expressions.. more words.. I just can’t.. so much to write but I cannot get the words out.. cannot type them out.. it’s sad.. but I donno.. I will just live with it..