Sometimes I wonder if a person can become cursed.. like people cuz they talk about you so much and they think badly of you or say bad things that bad things do end up in your way. Weird eh? I think I am cursed or jinksed.. I donno.. I just feel no matter how hard I try that I am still behind.. no one ever tells me good job Mona.. way to go.. keep up the good work.. all negative comments.. I wonder how it feels if I did that to someone.. maybe I have done it to others.. but not this badly.. I am easily amused and I like other people and what they do.. I get fascinated and interested in others.. but people have no interest in me.. they don’t care if I did this or that.. always saying someone else did it better.. or it’s not all that.. just unlucky me I guess.. I guess my other problem is that I think too hard.. I think that other people are just there to judge me and not compliment me.. it’s sad but that’s just how I feel.. I can’t trust anyone or talk to anyone without being criticized or rediculed.. only by the closest people..

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I found a template from the wordpress template archive and changed it.. this way I spend less time having to make a new one and picked one that looks slick and clean and dark.. mwaahhahahaha.. :P

anyways.. hmm.. yah.. I donno what to do.. I am bored now.. I am at work.. got stuff to do and get done.. that’s it.. so what you think of the template?? haha.. dark enough!! :P

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yep.. finally putting this as an annoucement… me and aquarius are not compatible.. I just found out now.. lol i finally got bored to check out who would match me.. i think it said i am better off with virgo, taurus, scorpio and pisces.. interesting.. i never met guys with those zodiacs.. maybe it will be better…

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 Aquarius-Capricorn Compatibility

This relationship will be subject to changes of moods, routine and attitudes. Many personal readjustments will have to be made on both sides although these may not be easy to achieve because Aquarius is independent and stubborn about personal ideas while Capricorn can never fathom why Aquarius sometimes becomes unpredictable and capricious.This behaviour undermines Capricorn’s desire for stability and security.The first thing that the careful Capricorn has got to find out is whether their Aquarian amor is ruled by unusual Uranus or safer Saturn.Â

If it is that ringed ruler Saturn, then the Aquarian in question will be so Saturnine they’ll seem similar to the gorgeous goats. If the Aquarian is activated by unorthodox Uranus, this twosome will either tick over like a crazy clock.So it’ll be a relationship of extremes for a Uranian Aquarian and a careful Capricorn, but if the water carrier’s guiding light is saturn, they’ll be kindred spirits. What the clever Capricorn must never forget when they’ve found one of these water carriers is that Aquarians of all shapes and sizes need some adventure and excitement to perk up their lives. And if they don’t get it from their nearest and dearest, they’ll do something drastic to bring it about.

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I wonder sometimes about the human brain and emotions.. I know we cannot as humans read each other’s minds.. but I think that we do read facial expressions.. the way someone looks at us.. you know.. all these little details.. could be non important.. but they are somewhat significant in understanding what others are thinking.. all these major pscyhological and scientific studies about neurology is quite intriguing.. even I learned it in Artifical Intelligence course I took.. It’s quite interesting how we try to program the computer to learn on it’s own.. interesting eh.. hmm..

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Well.. I always wondered about this.. you know how you always get these forwards from people with them saying you are their friend.. pass this along to 20 people and you will have good luck for a week.. you know that crap that some drunk person with psychological problems of bubbleness sent around.. well … stop sending it to me!! It’s pure bullcrap.. holy.. kids don’t even send that around.. why adults.. … also what’s up with forwards.. it seems they have become so repetitive or people stopped sending around meaningful or humorous ones.. what’s up with that??

anywho.. i donno what to do today.. i feel a bit sick.. bad headache and not feeling my outmost hyperness.. lol i need something to pump me up.. hehe..

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Anyone had that feeling? really.. i been so unhappy with everything.. i am never satisfied.. it’s not greed or anything.. it’s just nothing will make me happy enough.. i dunno.. maybe i am just thinking too hard..here i am at 12:25 am.. writing in my blog.. my thought.. what am i really thinking now? i dunno.. i usually type anything.. no spell check.. no grammer check.. just go with the flow.. writing something for the sake of writing.. lol i know.. it’s silly and pointless.. but really.. what can i rambel on at this hour.. hmm. well.. today i spent the day doing nothing.. so i accomplished nothing of any importance..

well.. today.. “he” came online.. i was suprised.. he hasn’t been online for 1 month.. then suddenly he is on.. i know i am stupid and i said hi.. but for the sake of politeness.. i did know him for 4 years.. so it is a while.. but i dunno.. he changed too much.. that i decided.. i never want to change.. i think it is wrong to change everything about you.. people won’t know you.. people will be dumbfounded and mystified of who you are.. i don’t want that.. i want people to remember mona for certain attributes.. i dont like to change who i am.. i think we are all born in a certain way.. with certain personality.. that the sudden change seems unnatural.. anyways.. back to him.. well.. life will not change for me.. people change to make my life bad and i feel life is pointless.. well.. i dunno.. here i go rambling again about nothing.. about people.. about a person who doesn’t care about me yet i am talking about him in my silly rebellious blog..

i am gonna go to sleep.. this whole post is pointless..

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Wow.. to the person (omar) who said my website lately sucks.. well here is a post dedicated to you my friend.. WHY YOU COME HERE THEN DAILY TO READ AND POST!! IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY DON’T SAY IT!! I am not in the mood to fight with visitors.. jeez.. you just want to press my nasty button and make me mad or something? give me a brake!! There are plenty of blogs out there that can entertain you.. No need to come and mock mine..

for those wondering why I am writing this then read the previous’ post comment!!

thank you!!

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I dunno what’s up with me.. I feel so bogged down lately and not feeling like doing anything.. I don’t even feel like talking to my friends or saying anything.. I think I am stuck in one of those bad moods again.. Aah.. I think I seriously suffer from something.. I think a disease called moodiness.. To me it is severe cuz I end up blocking everyone around me and live in my own little world! It’s quite depressive.. Like for example all this month.. I have not been posting much.. why? And I have so much to write but I forget.. also I seem to space out a lot.. people would give me instructions and stuff and I complete ignore it.. Unintentially that is.. then they ask me why I didn’t do it and all I say is what? You didn’t tell me to do anything.. Maybe I am becoming deaf too.. I am old!! lol..

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