Maybe I am not as angry as I thought!

I always thought I had anger management issues at time.. well.. then I realized.. from answering these questions that I am not as bad as some ppl at all!!

Do You…

1. grit your teeth? No
2. get a headache? No
3. get sweaty palms? No
4. get dizzy? No
5. get red-faced? Sometimes
6. get a stomachache? No
7. feeling like running away? Used to
8. get depressed? Yes
9. feel guilt? No
10. feel resentment? No
11. become anxious? Sometimes
12. feel like lashing out? No
13. cry / yell / scream? Sometimes
14. use substances? No
15. get sarcastic? No
16. lose sense of humor? Sometimes
17. become abusive? No
18. withdraw? Yes
19. become too intense? No
20. creep out in mysterious ways? No
21. contribute to physical problems? No
22. flare too quickly? No

Stuffing

1. Do you hide your anger? Yes
2. Do you tend to avoid direct confrontation? Yes
3. Are there times when you feel bad for getting angry? No. I actually feel better.
4. Is it hard for you to admit when you’re angry? Yes

If so, you may be considered a “Stuffer�

I am a stuffer I guess

Some reasons why we “stuff” are:

• Fear of hurting / offending someone
• Fear of losing control
• Fear of being disliked or rejected
• Feeling it’s inappropriate (not ok) to be angry
• Feeling unable to cope with a strong and intense emotion
• Fear of damaging / losing a relationship
• It’s a learned behavior (but it can be unlearned!)
• Living in an unfamiliar environment, such as university

Consequences / Problems:

• Anger comes out — regardless
• Impairs relationships
• Compromises physical and mental health

Escalating

1. Does your anger “escalate” to rage? No
2. Do you try to control your emotions, but are unable to? Sometimes
3. Do you blame and shame the provoker of your anger? Yes
4. Does your anger sometimes lead to abusive situations? No

Some reasons why we “escalate” are:

• Feeling like there are no other choices of addressing the situation
• Demonstrating an image of strength and/or power
• Avoiding the underlying emotions
• Fear of getting close to someone
• It’s a learned behavior (but it can be unlearned!).
• Lack of appropriate communication skills

Consequences / Problems:

• Desired results may be short-term
• Possibility of physical destruction
• Impairs relationships
• Compromises physical and mental health
• Legal ramifications

I guess I am not so so bad.. :S Well.. sometimes but not much!

Random Thoughts