I have decided..
Well.. I think this week has been the worse week ever in my life. Too many blames. Too many pointing fingers. So much stress. So many regrets. Dejavu of the worse things that can ever happen to me before happened again. Now I think I am over it. However I want this year to end. 2006 has been the worse ever. I don’t like even numbered years. I don’t like years that are just filled with problems on a daily bases. I seriously just want things to end! I want people to leave me alone. Everyone to leave me alone and let me have one day of peace! Just one! It’s all I ask.
I want to go through a long period of meditation. Of clearing my thoughts. I think my head is filled with a different thought every milisecond and that is why I get such huge headaches. I use advil as someone else would use gum! That’s how bad things are getting. But I just need to cross my fingers and hope for the best.
On a more happier note. I just spent the day checking out hi5 website. I use to use it then I stopped when I started having weird people add me and telling me fuck’d up stories. I got freaked and I just stopped that whole random people chats. However today I was looking for someone and thought maybe he would be on hi5.. and he is.. keh keh. ehm ehm.. 
but I just wanted to check profile. Nothing more. No interest in talking to him.
Anyways.. time for sleep..
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I looove FouseyTube!! All of his videos are... 
lol @ hi5..I ended up cancelling my account due to some freaky people. I agree 2006 sucked for me too..only a month and a bit left, we’re almost there
I hope by the time I am writing this you’re feeling much better ya Mona. No human can ever look back at his/her life and not have regrets and sadness, equally no human can think forward about the future and not have fears if they thought hard enough. One extreme is to numb our hearts and not worry or think about anything serious, another extreme is to regret and be very sad about what has passed and to worry too much about the future. Best way is to find the right balance between the two extremes, and use the regrets and fears to motivate us to do positive constructive things during our present day. I think may be you’re at an age now when you’ve become more aware about life because now you’re less sheltered and more experienced with how life is. Do not worry, you’re smart enough and strong enough to adjust and deal with life’s ups and downs, probably better than most people.
Hi M.N. No I don’t feel any better.. but thanks for trying to cheer me up. I will just live with it. I think I will one day loose my mind but till that day I will just try to not go crazy!