Feeling Doozy

Aah it’s a Sunday.. And tomorrow is going to be another manic Monday. I really have not been feeling well this weekend. I feel very tired and ill. I have just been sitting down browsing the net all day. I don’t chat with people because I am no msn’er but I leave my msn all day for the sake of it and people are used to see me online. I don’t like it that much. I rather read blogs and news and check out what’s out there in the world.

I had a weird dream last night that I was president of a large Arab student organization. Only cause I crave power all the time. It’s a bad habit but that’s me. I cannot stand being a follower. I may not be the best organized person in the world, but I am creative enough to change everything around me. :lol: I don’t know. I am just being silly. I think I need more responsibilities in my real life. I am giving my current job another year before I quit. I mean quit. I don’t even want to look for another job. I think I will not work for 3 or 4 months before I seriously look for work. I can survive 2 years with no job with the money I have in the bank and investments. However, I am seriously becoming more and more depressed and bored with the same thing over and over. It’s not a challenge anymore. I am not benefiting from it at all. I need something with way more responsibilities and actually be surrounded by people who do work. Not just kill time to get paid. You know. I will see how much work I will finish today. I am really sick and I didn’t finish what I am supposed to do yet. I may take the day off tomorrow as well. I will see how I will feel by 7 am tomorrow morning.

Also this blog of mine is hilarious. When I start a controversial topic I get a massive amount of comments. I cannot believe that’s what people are looking for. For me when I read blogs I like to read how people are feeling for the day. What worries them, not like me when I am silly and I start a crazy topic to see how long it will take to spark some fire. I will stop doing that for a while because I am tired of getting my email box filled with wordpress “I got a comment email” every 30 min. I got stuff to do!!

Anyways.. I haven’t taken pictures for a long time to add to my November album. I have just been really busy and depressed this month. There are certain months of the year that I really hate. I hate March, June, July, August, and November. I cannot stand those months.

I also hate Tuesdays. I also cannot stand Mondays but I try to avoid any trouble, but Tuesdays is when trouble catches up to me and I go crazy I swear I feel like killing my self sometimes. I do go through suicidal depression phases. I try to stop my insanity by hitting my head on the wall and become unconscious for 30 seconds. That eliminates the need to cry and uncomfortable breathing. I seriously need a longer vacation. I need to plan it better from now on. I am taking advantage of my work since I am being taken advantage of cause of my talents. I am too talented I know that because I crave attention and appreciation, but I am so unmotivated. I hate it when someone tells me I need this done soon and not define “soon” .. and when soon comes I am asked when will it be done. Today or tomorrow? Fuck that. I am not going to carry on any more work if everyone else is a lazy ass. So from now on I will become a lazy unmotivated person who does minimal work. Better then no work at all eh? For the time being that is.

Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!