Weird thoughts..
I donno.. it is one of those days where I am so unmotivated to really do anything and I have all these crazy weird thoughts going on in my head. I donno why.. Maybe cuz HE (remember the EX) actually came online the past couple of days.. I actually talked to him yesterday saying wow.. your online.. been a while.. he is like yes.. it’s snowing outside.. I was like duh! hmm.. I donno.. after that I really didn’t talk much neither did he.. after that I realized.. eh.. I hate him.. I really do.. So I blocked him.. I was really fed up.. I really don’t feel anything towards him except pure hatered.. not hate him directly.. but hate the way he acts and how he changed and how much he really did not like me (not even as a friend) at all and wasted 4.5 years of my life.. he just used me.. and I was so gullible! I have so much anger in me now.. and so much unmotivation.. I have not seen him since like August I think.. aaah.. and I always wonder how heartless he is.. and why.. was I really that bad? I wonder sometimes.. I think I just have too much anger inside me and towards everything.. and I honetly blame it on him.. when I was little I was very calm.. even in highschool I was very calm and kind of cold.. but I never got mad.. I always dealt with things in a calm manner.. but I guess the University life and the Arabs I met and the tragic drama I put my self in.. really really made me weak.. now I can only deal with things in an angry manner.. I am trying really hard to be calm.. It’s hard when someone spent the past 7 years of their life under stress and anger! wow.. since I was 18 I been like this.. holy.. I wonder sometimes if I have started my blog since I was 18.. I would have had waay too much dramatic stories.. crazy stories I swear that no one would believe.. the backstabbing.. the horrible treatment by other people.. and I swear.. I think I seriously snapped when I was 20… that is when I just could not stand it anymore.. so I became cruel and mean.. and now I am 25.11 and I am so frustrated and mad all the time.. always thinking.. always wondering what if!! I think I need to really need to stop this.. be calm.. I think it will be my new year’s resolution.. a new beginning.. something more calm and more peaceful life.. I really don’t want a guy anymore. I donno at this rate I don’t want to get married or like anyone ever again. I just don’t trust arab guys anymore. They are so selfish and only think of them selves. I cannot stand it.. I am completely opposite.. I donno.. I have been living in North America too long and I was raised to be nice and help others. I donno.. I need to snap out of it seriously.. It’s been a bad few months but I think I really need to relax.. I need mind relaxation sessions.. :lol: aah.. my life.. at this point.. it sucks.. I need to turn it around! I want to go back to how I was in my teen years.. I miss being a teen! 
Hello world! My name is Mona, a Palestinian living in London, Ontario, Canada. I am a computer programmer and graphics designer. This is my personal web blog, and you can learn more about me [
Hi I am a friend of M.N. After reading your recent message i was really saddened and felt compelled to reply. Life is full of ups and downs and trust me i have been through my fair share of them but the worst possible thing you can do is doubt yourself!!! What your ex did to is was not your fault and i hope you realise that you had a lucky escape from someone so self-centred and emotionally retarded!!! You need to learn from the experience you had, turn it into a positive thing and move on. Can you imagine how much attention you are giving to your ex who might read what you write? It is worth your sanity to give him that??? He will meet his match - you need to start building on your life. You are talented, funny and a genuine person and you will meet someone who will appreciate those qualities in you and give those same qualities back. Have a positive mental attitude…life is great and what you make of it…x
hi bobbi.. where is m.n..? did he send u over here to give me advice..
anyways, thnx for your kind words. I understand what u are saying.. but sometimes human emotions and sometimes when you are doing nothing you keep wondering about life and people.. and how bad people around you are… and the negative effect that humans make towards you. I donno.. like I said.. maybe I am loosing it but I need to keep my self busy with other things and stop worrying about all this..
I liked the picture :D… honestly as Bobbi said, you don’t need to give much attention to people who used you! definitely not worth it…
Don’t let that experience be a shadow over your life Mona. It was just a bumpy road surface you already crosssed, no need to keep going back to recall how annoying it was
I first want to start by an apology for anything that may have hurt you Mona. As M.N said, we go through tough times in life, so did I. I was not myself and I had alot of trouble that I did not discuss.
We did not communicate to each other clearly and I wish we did. I will say onething, I will never meet a person like you again and will never feel the same towards them.
You cannt sleep at night mona, and that is because of me. I sometimes think alot (well, you knokw me
), and my problem is i keep things inside. I think we both have some negatives that have caused us to get down to this.
I hope you dont hate me as you said. I swear I never had a bit of hate towards you.
One thing I would like to say, please dont delete this message as I also want my voice heard. One message to M.N, do not judge people just like that. Feelings and emotions are not just words you can judge people on. I do thank you however for the kind response to Mona.
Mona… Wallah i dont know what to say… I am such an idiot… May god bless you and bring you happiness in your life.
Take care and keep in touch.