what am i writing

I donno anymore. I honestly don’t know. I cannot sleep. I don’t know what to do anymore. All I do is cry non stop and my head is really hurting with a very bad migraine that I cannot type with my eyes open. All I see is a blur. I donno what to do. I donno why this is happening to me again. A de ja vu of the worst things that can happen all at one shot. I feel like an intruder in my own head and the more I think the more my head keeps pounding. It’s times like this where medicine doesn’t really do any good. I cannot spend any more days with no sleeping. My eyes are blood shot red and they are really hurting. I wish just people would leave me alone. People don’t talk to me or ask me anything. It’s times like this where I wish I was just alone and no one talks to me. It’s gotten to the point where I really wish I never was born. I wish I never lived with my family and I was seriously forgotten. Can you believe that your own family would say that you are an embarrassments to them. That no matter how hard you worked in life, no matter what you tried to do, no one will ever say anything nice to you. No matter what you have achieved in life it’s never good. Why don’t people just fucken leave me alone. I am not perfect. But I am not an embarrassment. No one cares how they hurt me. I don’t want people to talk to me anymore. I just hate everything and everyone. Nothing ever makes sense. No one is ever happy with anything I do. I wish I was stupid and dumb and I didn’t amount to anything so I would not feel bad when people say I am nothing. But I am not. But I honestly don’t know what I am to do anymore. I really don’t. I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I am getting old and tired of it. I just wish I can just one day wake up and no one is around me or anything is around me. I just want people to leave me alone. Everyone to just leave me in peace.

Whatever!