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January 22, 2007 @ 8:02 pm | 10 comments

Words cannot describe

By: Mona
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I have been in a very mellow quiet mood lately. Even forcing a smile on my face takes a lot of effort. I don’t know why I appear happy yet deep down inside I feel like so much is missing. So many things bother me and keep me thinking day and night. I wonder how long I will last like this. I feel a lot of guilt I feel like I want to just change everything about my life. Completely change and not be surrounded by the same people anymore. I keep looking back at my self when I came to Canada. We lived in the US. We just left everything to immigrate here. I didn’t feel regret or longing to the place I grew up in. I think I just miss it but I don’t know why. Yet now since I have been living here in Canada for the past 10 years. I feel different. I feel like I don’t belong here. I feel like I am not suppose to be where I am now. It’s like things stopped making sence and took a course of its own. I try to not say to my self that I regret my life. I do, but it is not something I need to keep questioning daily. I don’t know why I keep feeling this utter guilt and remorse towards life. I wish things made more sence and I didn’t have to question everything.

I don’t know what I am talking about. I tend to keep blabbering about something that absolutely makes no sence. Because nothing really makes sence. Nothing ever will. Because if everything made sence then life would be meaningless. Right?

Anyways.. I am listening to my favourite song ever. It’s a bit depressing, but I guess people feel that way sometimes.

http://music.6arab.com/fairooz..adeesh-kan-fee-naas.ram

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Blah Blah, Random Thoughts

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Comments (10) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Qwaider Ù‚ÙË?? ÙÅ? در
    January 22nd, 2007 at 20:26 | #1
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    Sense not sence x5
    Delete this comment

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  2. Qwaider Ù‚ÙË?? ÙÅ? در
    January 22nd, 2007 at 20:28 | #2
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    Mona, don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s winter and seasonal depression is at it’s peak
    Take it easy, spend some time with friends, take a vacation, spend some time away .. maybe it will do you good.
    You’re obviously stressed, just need to relax.

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  3. Jason
    January 22nd, 2007 at 20:31 | #3
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    Why not just make a change in your life. Doesn’t have to be rational. Spontanious.

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  4. Sami
    January 22nd, 2007 at 22:41 | #4
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    I think what you need is… a good friendaya, very close to you…

    I also love this song!…

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  5. Mona
    January 23rd, 2007 at 04:23 | #5
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    I cannot spell!! I know.. I suck! But I don’t have a firefox spell checker on this computer’s firefox browser! :D

    Maybe it is just seasonal!

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  6. Sapphire
    January 23rd, 2007 at 10:29 | #6
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    Winter is a depressing time of year. Your not alone in feeling that your life has come to a stand still and makes no sense. I am always looking back regretting the time that has passed. Time just seems to fly by quicker the older I get. Even though I was born and raised here in Canada and lived no where else, I find that there is something lacking here. I don’t know what it is about this country but is seems to be in some kind of deep dreamless sleep. People here seem to be apathetic or something. :(

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  7. Qwaider Ù‚ÙË?? ÙÅ? در
    January 23rd, 2007 at 10:56 | #7
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    Since is spelled right, but it’s not what you mean. I think you really meant “sense”

    Hey, I’m a worse speller … Seriously

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  8. Jason
    January 23rd, 2007 at 22:40 | #8
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    Since when has anyone been concerned with spelling on the iNet? :P

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  9. Anna
    February 2nd, 2007 at 11:00 | #9
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    hi there.

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  10. Mona
    February 2nd, 2007 at 13:21 | #10
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    hello there!!

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