Ok I whine. I complain. This is me!

Ok.. I am getting some offensive comments from people. I don’t obviously take it personally because why should I? It is my site and I am obligated to say whatever the hell I want. However, I guess people are getting offended by it. First off, I need to point out a few things about the way I think or who I am. I think people are misjudging me based on the title of my site. Which to me is beyond ridiculous and ignorant. Another matter is that people cannot stand me complaining. It’s what I do best. That’s the whole point of my site.

So here are a few things about me:

I am a really quiet person. In reality I don’t talk. I only talk when I feel it is worth me saying something or replying to someone obviously. Sometimes when I am in a more hyper mood I obviously talk more, but that is on rare occasions or just being high on sugar.

I like to write. I do read a lot of books so I actually know how to put a few sentences together and make a paragraph, and I know how to argue my point by using a valid thesis. I have done that enough times in my life. I do not use high vocabulary because I know no matter what I write it is best to dumb it down to a grade 10 level. I think it is one of the main suggestions that writers tell you. Write so everyone can read it and understand. So I will never use words an average person cannot understand.

I don’t talk to many people. I don’t trust people very much. I only have few friends because I am picky and I don’t trust people. It’s a bad habit I know and bad way of thinking, but I don’t like to just talk to anyone. And if I do end up talking to someone and liking to talk to someone for the sake of talking than it is because they earned my respect towards them and they like talking to me! Don’t get me wrong. I am a friendly person, and I love being in a group environment and working with others, but once it gets to a true friendship, it takes a while for me to get used to a person. I don’t judge people by first meeting them. I am pretty judgmental in other ways on a matter of fact, I judge others on the following things: self discipline, articulation, their view of life, the way they treat others, the way they speak about others, their educational status, and the people they hang out with. I know the latter is not a great way to judge people, but yes, I do judge people by who they are friends with. It’s a bitchy thing to do, but common? If you hang out with the “wrong” crowd, you must be one too.

Ok, so that is just a overview of who I am.

Getting back to the main issue with my website and what I write. I write on my site for two reasons:

1) I have an anger management problem, and to solve it, I write about it. I read a while back on the net that it is a good way to express your problems if you are shy or just not a very talkative person. In my case, I had many journals or diaries or whatever growing up, but I like making websites and I like typing. Also I found it more helpful if I get people to comment or just to have random people visit my site and read something that is real. I don’t really care if people comment, but I do get the occasional person here or there that would commend me on my thoughts and describes to me how much they appreciate my writing. They also appreciate the fact that someone else out there is similar to them in their thinking and ideas. Moreover, I don’t make up stories or sugar coat it to make my writings more entertaining. On the contrary, I write cause I am mad. I do have a lot to say and I choose the title of the site as a rebellion. Something that I cannot say to anyone and would rather type it and not let my unconscious bother me. I used to have a problem as a teen with talking to my self, well maybe till now. It caused me a great deal of migraines. It was worse because I couldn’t sleep and I would talk my self to sleep. I don’t do it that much anymore, but it does give me a headache from time to time. (ie. yesterday)

2) I need to express some obvious things that bother me. A lot of things bother me. I get pissed off a lot, but I don’t like to cause problems. I critique a lot because the whole world is messed up and I just want to bitch about it. I did suffer from depression for like 3 or 4 years but I managed to work around it by keeping my self super busy all the time. However, now I am not as angry as I was nor depressed. I am in that neutral zone where I just really don’t give two shits about anything or anyone, except my self of course and my friends. My friend tells me that I think too highly of my self and I live in a dream world. Only cause I keep telling her I am powerful in my world and I want to be a queen of my world. Which I am. No one can argue with that. I am self centered and I do think highly of my self. For the good reasons of course. That does not make me shallow or arrogant, on the contrary, I am very understanding of others and I always put my self in someone else’s shoe and think like them for a few minutes. However, there are few people out there that I have met in my life that I was never able to understand. For example, my EX boyfriend. I tried many many times to understand him. To try to think like him. To try to just understand why! I couldn’t even go past that point. I tried to just work around it and ignore it. What did that cause? A major hate crime and numerous murderous plots! So now I am trying really hard to be more understanding. I try to say what is on my mind as often as I can and question everything without too much anger and resentment.

So I use the site as a vault of my anger. A vault of my complaints, my problems, and a place to say things that I should never say out loud. Honestly, if I say half the shit I say on my site or even try to be 100% honest than I would have a squad of Mona haters in line to take turns pulling my hair!

In conclusion, I am mean. I am bitchy. I write when I am pissed off, and I complain a lot. If anyone has a problem with that than they should just kiss my Arabic ass.

And yes I like being an Arab, and I like bitching about it too!

Blah Blah, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!