One day.. I will be YOUR boss!

Ok.. I know I am finally thinking ahead to some anonymous future, but I need to get the plan together. I need to get my self rolling and get my self prepared to get a new job in a much higher position where I can have a little bit more control. Well.. all the control.

You see; I came up with a plan. This is a warning for anyone reading this. I may be your boss one day. And if I find out you read my blog and you ended up my employee you will pay greatly for wasting your time reading and not doing your work! :rofl:

Ok I am not making any sense!

Sooooo.. ok well let me think about the rules first. I am obviously going to end up working in the IT field forever, which I don’t mind. I love computers, programming and technology and I will never sway from that direction.

So if you are my employee this is what I expect from you:

1. You come to work (85% of the year ~44 weeks a year), you do your work. If you can’t finish your assigned tasks and not meet deadlines that I will give you a warning!
2. I don’t like excuses! So spare me the excuses. Unless you have some medical emergency or some fatality in your family, than that is your only excuse for not getting your work done on time.
3. If I hire you full time than I give you 6 months to prove your self. Once the 6 months are over, I will tell you how bad you did and put you on the edge of your seat and decide to either fire you or keep you.
4. Never argue with me. I am always right and that’s why I hold a higher seat.
5. If I need you to work like a slave than I expect you to do so. You will be greatly awarded cause I have high respect for people who are commited to their work and don’t like slacking.
6. I don’t believe in 9-5 day time hours. You work when you have to. It maybe 12 hour days or 4 hour days. I don’t care. As long as you get the work done efficiently!
7. Test your damn work. Honestly, if you don’t test your work and you make me look like shit to people who are using the product than you get a warning.
8. Be nice to your co-workers. If I hear any complaints or others view you as intollerable to work with, than I will give you half a warning. I will blame it first on psyhological problems. If the problems persists to the worse than I will isolate you and give you a warning!
9. If I hear any sarcastic remarks, or any remarks of hating your work or not liking your position or think the company sucks and you spend half your day looking for another job, than I will give you 2 weeks to leave. Well I won’t be that harsh. I will first ask you what is wrong and what I can do to improve your liking. If you tell me you are having problems with people and the environment than I will look into it and see what the main problem is. But if you don’t like your work and you just do a half ass job than please, I rather have you quit now peacefully or I will just fire you. I don’t have time to waste. There are 100′s of people out there who wish they were in your seat.
10. If you think you were hired because you are a genius, than you are wrong. I am the genius because I picked you! I hired you because I think you can do some kick ass work, but I will never question your intelligence. However, if you are smart and above average, I will recommend you to a higher position.
11. Act like a suck up once in a while and give me some fudge and you will be in my good books with my eyes wide open towards you. You might actually get a raise. :food1:
12. I am good at “playing along” and agreeing to see what your real motives are. I don’t judge a book by its cover but I maybe critical of your words and actions and I will keep it in mind. I do analyze a lot and I do keep track of things in my head. I do actually remember things, if I don’t have a headache obviously and I am fully awake. So be warned, I do watch carefully and analyze you carefully.
13. Well, if you get 3 warnings (everything is obviously documented), than I will give you 2 weeks to leave without vacation pay. I really don’t like to waste time. I have no sympathy towards anyone who does not do their work when they have to.
14. Lastly, I am really picky about this. I know life has its problems and situations come up. If it jeapordizes your work and you end up doing a half ass job, than either take a vacation or just leave. I really have to emphasize this one which a lot of people over look. When you come to work, I expect some work. I know I am guilty my self of being a slacker and my mind wandering off, but in the end, you temporarly sold your soul (well some permenantly) to your work. People are depending on you. So think about that first. You do spend ~70% of your week at work. That is a lot and that means a lot is riding on you doing the work. It is also your means of survival. So technically, morally, ethically, in order to survive in this world, (ie. to earn money), you have to actually do the work. You have to be commited or else there is no point. I am great at making you feel guilty. So just DON’T do it!

That’s all I can think of for now. I can come up with a lot more things. But in reality I am flexible until certain points. I am a workoholic. I just can’t change who I am, and I like to just work and work. And my problem is that I expect everyone who works around me to be like that too. I think it is my psychological problem, but I can’t help it. That’s me. So be warned now! I am mean!

Categorize this!, Random Thoughts