I’m sitting here at work, upgrading and editing the game I am making, and I realized, why am I doing this? At this point of project design, implementation and testing, I do find the project way over due. The development time is taking too long.

As I was working away, I thought to my self. God! I have been working on this piece of software/game since 2004! To be exact since May, 2004. And it is still not done. It’s not my fault obviously. The problem is, I had to take a research paper and experiments and map it into a game design. So game play was my first problem. Than I had to make a script for the game. There was no script! So I did that. I spent 3 months getting people to record the script that was approved by the researcher. That is a delay. This was all parallel with the game implementation and coding. So now we are up to a year after I got drawings, coding and testing done. This does not include interruptions, changes, work overload from other projects, and dealing with students and teaching them. I quit doing that. I just tell them, what you want to learn, here are tutorials, any questions than ask. I am an awful teacher, and I don’t want to teach programming. Never! Either you learn how to do it, or not.

Back to the game, after a year; preliminary game beta version was done. It worked. It was tested and it worked fine. Than I had to wait 4 - 6 months to get feedback. I am not joking! So during that time I was given numerous other projects that I cannot remember anymore. So that was that. Than I was told that the script was going to be recorded again cause it was not good enough. Also another module was to be added. So we are in 2006 now! So I wait. Wait. September comes, and I got my self a new script and 2200 new sounds! I spent numerous days creating the new module. I had numerous interruptions with another project. Since I do have more than one huge project to work on. Cause I am a genius and I can get work done. Yes I am! I am sorry to have to emphasize this. I am not your typical worker or programmer. And being a girl makes it more difficult to comprehend. I WORK TOO MUCH! I do it cause I know I am awesome and I can get the work done. I don’t even care if anyone compliments me. I have really high self esteem and pride of what I do!

So what can I say about my current projects; the time line is never ending. It has a beginning point, and no end. It’s like I was given a blank cheque! Sometimes I feel when I agreed to do this job that I decided to sell my soul to researchers. I know it is not permanent and I will never be a permanent employee or get any special treatment cause I work for researchers and a grant funded network. Yet somehow as the years go by I feel like when I signed my first contract that I sold my soul forever to these people. That the work will never end, and I will always be called upon to do more and more work. At times I wonder why I have to renew my contract every year and even discuss a raise. Who cares at this point. I sold my soul. Signing a piece of paper can easily be done by my fingerprints. Just take my fingerprints off the keyboard and use it!! I live at work and my projects will never end!!! Grrrrrhhhh.

I need a new project. That will keep me on top of things!

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