Questioning the questions. Why?

I am the type of person who asks too many questions. But I only ask it to my self.

So I asked my self today. “Why am I like this?” And this obviously created more trauma to my head and all I felt is a headache and an intense banging in the back of my head.

So I sat there thinking. Why do people ask very random questions so they expect an answer from you. Don’t they know I know exactly why they are asking and what their real questions are? I like to act stupid sometimes and just play along and completely limit my answers to exactly what they asked.

Another question I ask my self, why do teenagers now a days dress in black, have weird hair cuts and some dye their hair an odd pink or purple colour? Than I answer it and say, “they are rebelling against life!” They are realizing that life stinks and nothing is worth it. It is time for them to make a statement and be noticed. Some do it in an odd way, but I always appreciate artistic hair do’s.

Then I ask my self. Why have I become a lazy bum who does not care about anything? Easy. I am a very pessimistic person who refuses to get out my shell and I would rather rant and bitch about it cause in real life I don’t talk to anyone about this. I just don’t want people to judge me or think I am not normal. Well what is normal?

So another question I ask my self. Why do people gossip? I mean what joy or pleasure does a person endure in talking about others. In a good or bad way. What will that person achieve? Nothing.

All these questions are just simple questions I thought about today. Nothing really drastic or obscure. Just random questions. Then I thought, what do we create in our heads? Really, what is in our minds. I think the problem is that I am way over analytical. I don’t accept reality. Once I do accept it then I am very pessimistic about it. I think it is all in my head. The problem is that sometimes we can’t control our thoughts. We cannot control our emotions. We really cannot control what happens around us. And that is when we wish that life is over. How can we wish life would just suddenly be over? When we lost control of it? Is it that simple? Why do our emotions control us? That is the problem. Our emotions. The people around us. It is a killer. But what are we to do?

When I was younger I was very cold. Almost heartless. I think when we are younger we did not really have that sensitive emotional heart that controls us. When we were younger all we wanted to do is play games, watch TV, and be cool at school with our friends. As we grew up, we just wanted people to just leave us alone and let us be. We can deal with our own problems. Yet a child would want others to be involved in their problems. They don’t know how to solve their problems. They want someone to care for them immediately. Why can’t we as adults resort to such ways? We cannot solve our problems. We really can’t. What has happened to us? We grew up to be something out of our control. We hide our feelings, our needs, and our simple life enjoyments. But why? Are we that afraid? Yes. We are afraid. As we grow older we become more fearful of life. Our emotions control us to the point where it is either to force our selves to become cold hearted snakes or just surrender to reality. But I don’t want to surrender to reality. I don’t want to be a cold hearted snake either. Why can’t there just be a mid way solution? I don’t understand why our minds control us. Our heart controls us. And that “emotional” tie between the heart and the brain is unbreakable.

You know how people say, you act like a baby.. your such a baby.. ooh.. you act like such a kid. It’s great! It’s a compliment. You are carefree and all you care about is simple life’s enjoyments. Nothing too complicated. Nothing that will leave you questioning and asking your self every minute and even every second of your life the same question. Why Me? Why can’t I just be left alone to deal with me? What is there really to deal with? I think the major problem is that we are far too complicated beings. We think too much. We spend most of our waking hours making decisions. Thinking of consequences. A child doesn’t. If we just make our selves just stop thinking for a minute than life wouldn’t be so hard to understand. It wouldn’t be so hard to cope with. It would just be simple as it should be.

I wish I can just think like a child.

Random Thoughts