Spies, lies & the blog that no one dares to discuss.

Uff now that is a long ass title. I had to address this issue. Well I didn’t have to. I don’t have to do anything, but I just felt like it.. I don’t want to discuss this matter very explicitly. Just randomizing my thoughts. Where to begin? Ehm. Ok. This blog is causing me great problems. I wouldn’t call it emotional or drastic problems. I just think whenever someone thinks there is something wrong with me they automatically check my blog to find the reason. Or they want to understand why I talk the way I talk or think the way I think. Or maybe they are trying to see if I talk about them or something. Cause I only talk about one guy and that’s it. Other people I really don’t unless they piss me off. Like my mom for instance.. but I love my mommy!! She is cute!

I mean if someone wants to know something then they can talk to me. Well maybe they can’t. That’s the problem. I always say “I am fine”.. or whatever. But that’s ok. I don’t want to really discuss my thoughts. My thoughts are my own. I made this blog to save money to not go to a shrink who will charge me $110 an hour to discuss my feelings. I decided to just discuss it with anonymous people or whomever wants to discuss this and just take random criticism. I just find it funny that those who read it, I know who you are.. That they try to help me or point out some issues in a very implicit way that I just sit there stare them in the face and I know exactly what they are thinking, and I give them the reply that they don’t want to hear. Which is great for me cause I don’t want to play that game. I am not going to regret giving my blog’s address to people I know. I really don’t have anything to hide. I just don’t like discussing certain issues. Sometimes I do. If it is general enough. Other times I just think it is really “none of their business”.

I also had this problem with people who I chatted with on msn through the blog world. They think I am this, yet I end up being a totally different persona than they thought. They either liked it or not. Who am I to judge them for that. I really don’t care. Each person’s opinion is of their own. I have no right to judge. However, I just think it is funny how people just take what I write on my site as the ultimate and only answer to who I am. It’s not. It’s just thoughts I write down when I feel like it. I like writing. I like just spitting out what’s in my head and that’s it. I don’t care who comments. I don’t care what people think. In the end it is all about me. It’s not too exciting I know.

But for those who read my blog and just take it a bit too seriously or find it as the only answer to my pessimism than please don’t. It’s not. It’s just I need a place to vent or I will end up fighting randomly with people like I used to for no reason. Well I had my reasons but I could have managed it better. :animal1:

Random Thoughts, Whatever!