Ok.. I am gonna be super busy like a bee till Saturday afternoon. Until then I will not be answering anyone or anything. I will be invisible rebellious chica..

Blah Blah, Categorize this!

I noticed that more and more Arabs in Canada have westernized them selves to fit into the society they live in. Is it fear from 9/11? Is it fear from prejudice remarks from others? Well those may not be the case. I think it is far beyond that. I am talking about the drinking, the half nakedness, the sex, the drugs, etc. This has become an apparent thing. I remember 7 or 8 years ago it was shameful for Arab girls to even talk to a Male and have intimate conversations with each other. It was the hot gossip that spreads between others in seconds. Now, what is the hot gossip? What are the Arabs here fearful of? Really nothing since it is “normal” talk now. I remember one time I had a conversation about this with the EX that completely shocked me that justified his stupid behaviour of drinking with his stupid friends and cousins. He said.. well, married guys even do it now. It is normal. They even go to clubs and their wifes know. So what? I was like wtf! (Reason #1019028391 for hating his guts) Call me old fashioned but what has the world come down to? I am sorry. Maybe I am not a religious person, or a person who cares too much about what others say.. but common. There are limits. There are the things that are right, and those that are wrong. The reason I still follow the teaching and preachings of Islam is because I adore and love the morals behind it. I find it to be a very illuminating path of goodness. It is ethically and morally good! I like not feeling guilty and secretive and always in fear of someone “finding out”. I know this might seem too religious or unfathomable to those readers who are not Muslim or even Arab, but surprisingly the culture and the religion somewhat mixed together over the past 1400+ years. I used to have Arab Catholic friends that I thought their parents are overly strict beyond belief that my religion seemed so liberated. And in reality it is. Then I noticed that it is being an Arab that is the cause of this. Not religion as a whole. Which I found kind of made sense.

So from walking around in the mall, talking to people. Seeing how the world changed around me all of a sudden because I was living in a very small bubble, that I realized that I am so thankful that my mind did not corrupt. I mean I don’t look down upon others that follow a different lifestyle. I know some people have their reasons, but some really don’t. They just want to fit in. But I thought the whole point of God putting us on this earth as individuals. He will judge each person individually. Not as an entire society.

I just find it amusing. I really do. I know I am being a preacher of good behaviour and ethics, but I have seen what stupid Arabs have done in their life and how much they regret it now. I just tell them out of sarcasm and pity that I am glad I am not them.

Random Thoughts

Ok.. I hate statistics for this reason. We are JUST numbers to the world! Where is the justice!
http://www.al-awda.org/pdf/factsheet.pdf

FACTSHEET
Updated June 26, 2006
The Right To Return, a Basic Right Still Denied*
• Palestinian refugees represent the longest suffering and largest refugee population in the world today.
• In 2005, there were approximately 7.2 million Palestinian refugees, equivalent to 74% of the entire Palestinian population which is estimated at 9.7 million worldwide.
• The breakdown of the refugee population is as follows:
1. During the creation of the Zionist state in 1948, approximately three quarters of a million Palestinians were forced to become refugees. Together with their descendants, more than 4.3 million of these refugees are today registered with the United Nations while over 1.7 million are not. According to The United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestinian Refugees (UNRWA), one-third of the registered refugees live in 59 U.N.-run camps in Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, the West Bank and Gaza Strip. The majority of the rest live in and around cities in the West Bank and Gaza Strip and of neighboring countries.
2. Approximately 32,000 Palestinians became internally displaced in 1948. Today, these refugees number approximately 355,000 persons. Despite the fact that they were issued Israeli citizenship, the Zionist state has also denied these refugees their right to return to their homes or villages.
3. When the West Bank and Gaza Strip were occupied in 1967, the U.N. reported that approximately 200,000 Palestinians fled their homes. These 1967 refugees and their descendants today number about 834,000 persons.
4. As a result of home demolitions, revocation of residency rights and construction of illegal settlements on stolen Palestinian owned-land, at least 57,000 Palestinians have become displaced in the occupied West Bank. This number includes 15,000 persons so far displaced by the construction of Israel’s Annexation/Apartheid Wall.
• The Right to Return has a solid legal basis:
1. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights article 13 affirms: “Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and return to his country.”
2. The International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination [Article 5 (d)(ii)], states: “State parties undertake to prohibit and to eliminate racial discrimination on all its forms and to guarantee the right of everyone, without distinction as to race, color, or national or ethnic origin, to equality before the law, notably in the enjoyment of … the right to leave any country, including one’s own, and to return to one’s country.”
3. The International Convention on Civil and Political Rights [Article 12(4)], states: “No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of the right to enter his own country.” Moreover, the Principle of Self Determination guarantees, inter alia, the right of ownership and domicile in one’s own country. The UN adopted this principle in 1947. In 1969 and thereafter, it was
explicitly applied to the Palestinian People, including “the legality of the Peoples’ struggle for Self-Determination and Liberation”, (GAOR 2535 (xxiv), 2628 (xxv), 2672 (xxv), 2792 (xxvi)).
International law demands that neither occupation nor sovereignty diminish the rights of ownership.�? When the Ottomans surrendered in 1920, Palestinian ownership of the land was maintained. The land and property of the refugees remains their own and they are entitled to return to it.
• In 1948, the international community felt a deep sense of responsibility for the mass dispossession, ethnic cleansing and the Zionist transfer policy that began then. United Nations Mediator Count Folke Bernadotte, who was later assassinated by a Zionist terrorist hit squad, stated: “It would be an offence against the principles of elemental justice if these innocent victims of the conflict were denied the right to return to their homes, while Jewish immigrants flow into Palestine” (UN Doc Al 648, 1948). This remains true today as any Jew, regardless of national origin, can gain automatic citizenship while Palestinian Arabs are denied their right to return to their own homeland.
• Consistent with International Law, The United Nations General Assembly adopted Resolution 194 on December 11, 1948. Paragraph 11 states: “the [Palestinian] refugees wishing to return to their homes and live at peace with their neighbors should be permitted to do so at the earliest practicable date, and that compensation should be paid for the property of those choosing not to return and for loss of or damage to property which, under principles of international law or in equity, should be made good by the Governments or authorities responsible.”
• UN General Assembly Resolution 194 has been affirmed by the UN over 130 times since its introduction in 1948 with universal consensus except for Israel and the U.S. This resolution was further clarified by UN General Assembly Resolution 3236 which reaffirms in Subsection 2: “the inalienable right of Palestinians to return to their homes and property from which they have been displaced and uprooted, and calls for their return.”
• Israel’s admission to the UN was conditional on its acceptance of UN resolutions including 194. Denying the right of Palestinian refugees to return to their homes and lands is a war crime and an act of aggression which deserves action by the international community. The international community can apply sanctions on Israel until it complies with international law.
• The right of refugees to return is not only sacred and legal but also possible. Demographic studies show that 80% of Israelis live in 15 percent of the land and that the remaining 20% live on 85% of the land that belongs to the refugees. Further, of the 20%, 18% live in Palestinian cities while the remaining 2% live in kibbutzim and moshavs. By contrast, more than 6,000 refugees live per square kilometer in the Gaza Strip, while over the barbed wire their lands are practically empty. Ninety seven percent of the entire refugee population currently lives within 100 km of their homes. Fifty percent live
within 40 km. While many live within sight of their homes.
• The inalienable rights of refugees are not negotiable. International law considers agreements between an occupier and the occupied to be null and void if they deprive civilians of recognized human rights including the rights to repatriation and restitution.
• The US is bound by its laws not to fund regimes that violate human rights and basic freedoms. There is no more elemental right than one’s right to his/her home and to live in his/her land. The US could use the leverage of the massive financial support it gives to the State of Israel to press for this right.
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*Sources:
Dr. Salman Abu Sitta
Palestine Land Society – http://www.plands.org/
Badil Resource Center for Refugee Rights – http://www.badil.org/
Shaml – The Palestinian Diaspora and Refugee Center – http://www.shaml.org/zshaml/site/
United Nations Relief and Works Agency – http://www.un.org/unrwa/

They said what?

Uff now that is a long ass title. I had to address this issue. Well I didn’t have to. I don’t have to do anything, but I just felt like it.. I don’t want to discuss this matter very explicitly. Just randomizing my thoughts. Where to begin? Ehm. Ok. This blog is causing me great problems. I wouldn’t call it emotional or drastic problems. I just think whenever someone thinks there is something wrong with me they automatically check my blog to find the reason. Or they want to understand why I talk the way I talk or think the way I think. Or maybe they are trying to see if I talk about them or something. Cause I only talk about one guy and that’s it. Other people I really don’t unless they piss me off. Like my mom for instance.. but I love my mommy!! She is cute!

I mean if someone wants to know something then they can talk to me. Well maybe they can’t. That’s the problem. I always say “I am fine”.. or whatever. But that’s ok. I don’t want to really discuss my thoughts. My thoughts are my own. I made this blog to save money to not go to a shrink who will charge me $110 an hour to discuss my feelings. I decided to just discuss it with anonymous people or whomever wants to discuss this and just take random criticism. I just find it funny that those who read it, I know who you are.. That they try to help me or point out some issues in a very implicit way that I just sit there stare them in the face and I know exactly what they are thinking, and I give them the reply that they don’t want to hear. Which is great for me cause I don’t want to play that game. I am not going to regret giving my blog’s address to people I know. I really don’t have anything to hide. I just don’t like discussing certain issues. Sometimes I do. If it is general enough. Other times I just think it is really “none of their business”.

I also had this problem with people who I chatted with on msn through the blog world. They think I am this, yet I end up being a totally different persona than they thought. They either liked it or not. Who am I to judge them for that. I really don’t care. Each person’s opinion is of their own. I have no right to judge. However, I just think it is funny how people just take what I write on my site as the ultimate and only answer to who I am. It’s not. It’s just thoughts I write down when I feel like it. I like writing. I like just spitting out what’s in my head and that’s it. I don’t care who comments. I don’t care what people think. In the end it is all about me. It’s not too exciting I know.

But for those who read my blog and just take it a bit too seriously or find it as the only answer to my pessimism than please don’t. It’s not. It’s just I need a place to vent or I will end up fighting randomly with people like I used to for no reason. Well I had my reasons but I could have managed it better. :animal1:

Random Thoughts, Whatever!

I am the type of person who asks too many questions. But I only ask it to my self.

So I asked my self today. “Why am I like this?” And this obviously created more trauma to my head and all I felt is a headache and an intense banging in the back of my head.

So I sat there thinking. Why do people ask very random questions so they expect an answer from you. Don’t they know I know exactly why they are asking and what their real questions are? I like to act stupid sometimes and just play along and completely limit my answers to exactly what they asked.

Another question I ask my self, why do teenagers now a days dress in black, have weird hair cuts and some dye their hair an odd pink or purple colour? Than I answer it and say, “they are rebelling against life!” They are realizing that life stinks and nothing is worth it. It is time for them to make a statement and be noticed. Some do it in an odd way, but I always appreciate artistic hair do’s.

Then I ask my self. Why have I become a lazy bum who does not care about anything? Easy. I am a very pessimistic person who refuses to get out my shell and I would rather rant and bitch about it cause in real life I don’t talk to anyone about this. I just don’t want people to judge me or think I am not normal. Well what is normal?

So another question I ask my self. Why do people gossip? I mean what joy or pleasure does a person endure in talking about others. In a good or bad way. What will that person achieve? Nothing.

All these questions are just simple questions I thought about today. Nothing really drastic or obscure. Just random questions. Then I thought, what do we create in our heads? Really, what is in our minds. I think the problem is that I am way over analytical. I don’t accept reality. Once I do accept it then I am very pessimistic about it. I think it is all in my head. The problem is that sometimes we can’t control our thoughts. We cannot control our emotions. We really cannot control what happens around us. And that is when we wish that life is over. How can we wish life would just suddenly be over? When we lost control of it? Is it that simple? Why do our emotions control us? That is the problem. Our emotions. The people around us. It is a killer. But what are we to do?

When I was younger I was very cold. Almost heartless. I think when we are younger we did not really have that sensitive emotional heart that controls us. When we were younger all we wanted to do is play games, watch TV, and be cool at school with our friends. As we grew up, we just wanted people to just leave us alone and let us be. We can deal with our own problems. Yet a child would want others to be involved in their problems. They don’t know how to solve their problems. They want someone to care for them immediately. Why can’t we as adults resort to such ways? We cannot solve our problems. We really can’t. What has happened to us? We grew up to be something out of our control. We hide our feelings, our needs, and our simple life enjoyments. But why? Are we that afraid? Yes. We are afraid. As we grow older we become more fearful of life. Our emotions control us to the point where it is either to force our selves to become cold hearted snakes or just surrender to reality. But I don’t want to surrender to reality. I don’t want to be a cold hearted snake either. Why can’t there just be a mid way solution? I don’t understand why our minds control us. Our heart controls us. And that “emotional” tie between the heart and the brain is unbreakable.

You know how people say, you act like a baby.. your such a baby.. ooh.. you act like such a kid. It’s great! It’s a compliment. You are carefree and all you care about is simple life’s enjoyments. Nothing too complicated. Nothing that will leave you questioning and asking your self every minute and even every second of your life the same question. Why Me? Why can’t I just be left alone to deal with me? What is there really to deal with? I think the major problem is that we are far too complicated beings. We think too much. We spend most of our waking hours making decisions. Thinking of consequences. A child doesn’t. If we just make our selves just stop thinking for a minute than life wouldn’t be so hard to understand. It wouldn’t be so hard to cope with. It would just be simple as it should be.

I wish I can just think like a child.

Random Thoughts