Apr
30
As my mom says.. I am loud! Even my sister thinks I am loud. So I told them I am half deaf in my right ear and I cannot hear anything! 
So we ended that discussion real quick cause in reality, I cannot hear well!! So I am loud.. I’m loud.. you know it! :P
Anyways.. also today I decided to join Jazzercise! It’s not a gym, but more of a aerobics, yoga classes, and kick boxing. Stuff I can really use to beat up people. I am out of shape (big time), and I need to get back my adrenaline and go back to my old self. Soon I will look for a Tak-Wan-Do or Karate class. I have so much anger in me that I need to get it out but beating up people! I can’t wait!!
Tomorrow is the first class I will be going to. I will die. I will keep dying for a week or two.. but after that.. I will beat YOU up! muwahahaha! :P
Apr
29
Today I decided that I don’t want to be a member of Facebook anymore. I got bored and tired of people trying to add me to their list that I don’t know. I got tired of people messaging me that I don’t know. I just got tired of having a list of people just as a number. I don’t really talk to anyone. I could care less. If I wanted to talk to people I would use a messenger or face to face. I just got bored.
I lost interest. It is no longer amusing to me. It was, but I get bored easily.
I rather stick to my blog writing and reading. Looking at other people’s profiles is not interesting anymore. Just plain boring.
Apr
28
I spent my morning searching looking for other blogs. Someone out there must be an interesting person. I would say a majority of bloggers I found are moms in their mid-30’s. I thought that was interesting. They are great writers by the way. I was just not interested in reading about their kids and what they did that day. So I then searched for bloggers who have a little bit more spark. Something that gives them a type of uniqueness about their writing. Finding them was a bit hard. I would have to be doing this as a full time weekend job to find more interesting bloggers. Hmm.. I need to do more searching. Anyone out there know a few? I am not really focusing on Arabic blogs. I just want blogs that are worth reading!
Apr
27
For some reason while reading a lot of blogs out there, I always get confused of the nationality of the person writing it. I always see those bloggers who are from Jordan. They claim to be Jordanian. I understand they live or lived in Jordan and have Jordanian nationality, but are they originally from there? I have talked to many of them, and read a lot of their entries, and discovered they are Palestinian. I am like why not just say you are Palestinian? I even know people here in Canada who are from lebanon and worse they speak lebanese hardcore and never lived there (their parents did)… and they speak the dialect. However, they are Palestinian!
My concern is that the Palestinian name will go away. I thought the whole reason we are causing such daily international news was cause we are Palestinian! So what happened? Why my generation is slowly denying or not being proud of who they are! We are Palestinian, our parents where, our grand parents were, and our CHILDREN will be!
I am Canadian now but I will never deny who I am. Why should I?
Comments closed
Apr
26
Sometimes I wonder who my friends are. I am not a very social person. So I never go around talking to people and just want to make friends. That’s seriously not me. I rather be with a small group of people. Not be too involved in personal affairs. Just small groups. One or two friends. I mean I look back at my life and I sit there and wonder who my real friends are. Should I count them on both my hands? No. One hand is enough. I have zero trust in people when I first meet them. After what happened to me this week. I look back and really understand now how to get people to show their true colours.
Just need to piss them off. Just need to push their buttons and see what they are really made of. Actually I am joking.ÂÂ? I don’t need to push anyone’s buttons or piss them off. All I got to do is not agree with them. Say my opinion. Tell them they are wrong. Then I will see what they are really made of. Their true colours will shine and everything will be out in the open.
That’s all you got to do. Just disagree with them.
Apr
25
This week was crazy. I feel like I finally have a little freedom. Something to do and enjoy after work. Just relax, kick back. Do my own thing. But, when you have a little 11 year old sister, all she does is literally attach her self to me. I always scream at her and say: “what you want. What you want!” I love the little munchkin. She is the most adorable thing on earth. She drives me crazy, she drives me out of my mind at times. But screaming at her relieves so much stress. The problem with having a sister that young is her mentality is not. She replies back. She screams at me. When she gets mad she will smack me down and want to kill me. I laugh, after I cry of course from the pain. My sister is a sporty freak. She got legs and muscles of steal. I am hoping she will end up being super sporty and joining teams. She got so much fire and energy in her that needs to be lit out.
I love her to death! But why do I? Well why wouldn’t I! She looks 99% like me. She always sticks to me and talks to me and wants me to hear all the stories. If I cough a lot and look like I am choking she will start crying and saying.. “oh no don’t die! You are my only sister!!” When she says that I friggen stop coughing from shock! lol
Not only that, I don’t listen to music of watch TV much. I barely had time this year. But she seems to know it all. I know all the news, about everything in the TV and music world from her. I don’t have to search or bother. I will ask her! Makes my life easier!
In conclusion, I love the little kid. Not only cause she is my sister, but for her being such a cutie little person! 
Apr
23
I promised my self to not use my blog to complain about work or anything. I love what I do at work, but some people around me seriously don’t know how to work. I get blamed for being me. I am not nice when it comes to work. Someone out there is paying me a lot of money as a programmer to get my work done on time. To be efficient, and make others happy and my work done to perfection. But when you have other people whine and complain and cry about my attitude towards work, it seriously makes me want to hate what I do. When I tell someone that I cannot get something done or go to a meeting on a certain day because I have other commitments, then they whine and complain. When I have something to do my mind is focused on it. So why would I go to work if my mind is focused on something else? So I take the day off. Simple as that. Does that make people happy? No. I am suppose to be Mona the slave. I have been a slave to work for 5 years. Never took a vacation that actually constitutes as a vacation. Never did anything for me. I always did work work work. For the past couple of years I tried so hard to manage my work and taking classes on the side to make my self a better worker by learning new things. I swore to not mix the two together and not have one jeopardize the other.
So what happens? People cry, complain, whine and I get threatened to be officially reported to the University. So why the hell I keep putting up with work? I get blamed for having such a stern and focused view about work. Not only that, I get blamed for not giving enough respect to the person. What respect? First off they use a stupid fun friendly website to tell me to come to work and they really need me. I say oh sorry, I cannot come tomorrow, I am so busy and thanks for reminding me and I can meet with you Monday and I should tell my boss now cause it was a last minute thing and my boss is the nicest person on earth and he won’t say anything.. He knows I work too much. So what do I get back in return? A nasty comment saying that she won’t be here next week because she is on vacation.. (understandable), and I have to meet with her tomorrow no matter what because we have to get the work done by the end of the month or else!
So what you guys think I would have said? Someone pushed my buttons. Someone went beyond respect, beyond authority to tell me that I have to meet with her or else. What was I to do? Seriously.
I did what Mona would do. I replied back being me. I lost all consciousness, I was in complete shock and told her simply I cannot meet with her and I may not get the work done on time because I will be away the week before last for exams. I am off. I am on vacation too, and it’s not my fault that the project is behind because there is a need to satisfy people that have absolutely no final say in the project, and so far I had no official person or reply saying to get started on the work. But if the work needs to be done on time, I can manage to work before I go to sleep every night and get it done on time if that is the case.
Was that beyond mean? Was that worth crying about? In conclusion I just told her to back off. That’s all. I am a human too. I can get the work done in a day if she wanted. I can have a sleepless night. I don’t care. I was born to be a workaholic. It’s my curse.
So what happens next? She deletes the comment she first wrote telling me to get the work done or else. (a complete threat) Deletes my comment and copies and pastes it to an email saying that I have to get the work done and that’s it, etc. It was just long and it freaken upset the hell out of me.
I flipped. I just could not believe what people would do to make themselves look good and make me look bad. Not only that, she wants to complain to the University cause of it?
She used the emails and comments I said to make her look innocent, and she completely deletes the comment that ignited the whole thing! What am I to do? Seriously. How can I work with people like that? I just told my boss if she wants to work that way I do not want to work directly with her. I like to work and get the work done. I don’t want drama or anyone disrupting my hard work cause they are sensitive and cannot stand someone telling them it is their fault or back off, I am busy!
It is seriously hurting me, and she tried too hard to be a friend to me. And when I act as a normal human being and say something that does not please her she complains and cries about it. She completely stops talking to me and I get threatened.
I don’t think I will ever enjoy work again. I look back at the job offers I received the past couple of years and completely regret it. It was all for the love of what I do at work. But how could I love something now if people around me slowly make me hate it?
I need to seriously not care anymore. I mean I have enough personal problems and my work is my save heaven and my enjoyment. I treat my job as a hobby that I love to do. But now I have to just be mean, ruthless and only work. I don’t give a crap anymore. But the next interview and the next job offer will be questionable. I will have to stop this nice part of me of loving what I do and actually think about my self and my future. I only like people who work. Not whine and complain and cry. Work is work. Not to take it personal. When this happens it kills the whole point of being at a job. I don’t want best friends at work. However, I love being friendly and nice to my co-workers. It is what I have to do. It’s like a rule of ethics. To respect your co-workers. Be friendly, and enjoy working together. If there is no mutual friendship and respect than why work together?
I can’t believe I get blamed for not having any respect and get threatened. It’s just absurd.
So please God help me to be sane towards what I love to do and help me ignore people and not have a bad fuse outbursts because people friggen piss me off! 
I need to stop getting angry!
Apr
22
Something is weird in the blog world that maybe people out there who don’t blog may not know. Has any blogger felt like someone so close to them is reading what they are writing and actually seeing them in a different eye? For example, someone you know doesn’t know anything about your blog, or maybe does, but showed little interest in reading it. So you blog away not caring because in reality, why would you care what anyone in the world thinks of your writing? Then suddenly, one day, out of no where, that person seem to know more about you and more about your thoughts. You sit there and wonder and tell your self, “do I have to change my writing tone, slow down a bit, and change the way I present my deep thoughts to the world?” Is that worth the effort to change?
I sit here struggling about this. I know many people that read my blog that maybe I thought would not care too much to. Or wouldn’t care to read it. Than out of no where seem to know the whole world around me. Than I have to sit there and try to remember if I ever told them anything. How do they know so much? Maybe I am not sure about this. I don’t know who reads my blog. They have to tell me. I am just speculating because I am not a very open person and I never remember what I say to people. Especially if I am intoxicated with sugar and having a bad day. I seem to say things out of the ordinary without thinking. It’s my halal wait of getting intoxicated! looool Isn’t that funny? I always wanted to make this clear. I maybe rebellious thinker, but I sure am healthy and I worry too much about my liver. 
But not my blood sugar. I am gonna die from diabetes! That’s what my mom always tells me!
Apr
21
The weather is great, and BBQ season is in place. I am just wondering why when the sun comes out, the temperatures are above 15c, so all the guys are out there in their shorts and t-shirts with a lighter in their hands waiting to start a fire? Since they are little, boys love to play with fire! So is BBQing a way to fulfill their need to start a fire! It’s like a male’s power of existence is not met unless he can BBQ!
I just find BBQ so primitive. A very ancient way to cook food. I am not saying it is bad, on the contrary, it is the best way to eat food. Fully cooked, well seasoned, and smoky taste. Why would anyone not like that? I just think guys are funny when they obsess over it and can’t wait to BBQ on the weekend.
Guys are funny sometimes! :P
Apr
20
I only got one good question from the post “Mona is Idle…”ÂÂ? Zahra asked me how I balance my life from work to school to blogging and to friends and family. Well I don’t know how I am doing it. Most people who work full time can’t even fathom the idea of taking classes and having a life. Some can’t handle it. Some do. For example me. Honestly, it is because I am in need to get busy. I worked one year full time after I was done school and I was bored out of my mind! I needed to go back to school because I needed to keep challenging my self. I need to keep my brain stimulated, and since I work at the University, I was able to do that. My employer is very nice and he loves schooling, and nothing wrong with getting more educamatated.. :P It’s always good.
Also with my field, computer science, you need to always keep your self updated. I think whomever chooses the career of computers has to keep him/self learning new things daily. It’s crazy tech world out there. I love it but need to keep my self up to date all the time, and that’s what I am doing. I love it. School sometimes really stresses me out, but I don’t care. In the end I know I amÂÂ? going to be a valuable tool to a company. My brain is filled with lots of tech info!
As for blogging.. If I can waste my time chatting on msn, than I rather write something. I am a very talkative chatter, and I want to keep my writing skills always up do date. I used to know this one girl and she was amazed by my simple one paragraph emails. She loved reading my style. She said I should be a writer. So I just decided to write. I have lots of thoughts, critiques and stuff to talk about life. My life has been crazy the past couple of years, and I felt like sharing. I know some people out there may have similar problems, and I appreciate when commenters to my blog actually share those experiences with me. I just want to write and share something that someone else out there can relate to. Not everyone out there is able to talk or tell someone how they really feel. And I think since I am doing that, than someone out there may appreciate it.
My name is Mona and I am an internet savvy and technology obsessed girl. I am originally Palestinian and I live in the province of Ontario in Canada. That's some info about me, and you can learn more [
love the new design of the site…when I think this site with the content... 
ps - Be the change you... 
