What’s inside my heart.
I sit here and think. I keep wondering and thinking about life. Today I felt blank. No thoughts or anything that relates to my life. I cannot think anymore. I cannot put any thoughts together what so ever. All day long I kept having this strange headache and a loss of sight. I just didn’t have the level of concentration that I need to survive the day. Even with two cups of coffee I just felt ill. I thought I had a cold, but it is more than that. I don’t know what is wrong with me.
I think maybe I am just tired and overwhelmed with life. I feel at times that I want to sit somewhere and just listen to soft music and talk to someone nice. A nice friend. Someone who will talk about anything. No strings attached. Just someone who is willing to listen. Lately I have felt that no one wants to listen to me or talk to me. They got tired of me. I tend to complain a lot when I am nervous or upset. And that’s understandable. I wouldn’t want to listen to me either. That’s why I write it here and pretend I said it to someone else and they have to suffer.
I wish at times that I was emotionless. That I didn’t have to think or feel anything. At times I feel that I may be cold hearted and unfriendly. I want to portray a stronger image of my self but I can’t because I know deep down inside I am a very weak person. I am too sensitive. I run away from the pain. I have a fear of being hurt. I think I have been permanently damaged from the inside emotionally. I don’t know what to do. At times I wish I just didn’t have to suffer anymore. I wish I didn’t have to think or feel the pain.
Most of the time I feel like I am hallucinating.Â? Maybe I am now.
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Thanks for your... 
What’s all this mushy stuff ?? What’s happening to you? I think you’re getting too soft! Let me guess … pink colors for your blog next and worse .. pink sheets!!? Yaawn! I liked you better “Rebellious” Grrowwwrr
what’s with the pink colour
THE STRONGEST use PINK!!! But anyway, being sensitive is not so bad.. when you see the cold people out there, the heartless ones.. you just feel you’re lucky to be sensitive…
What’s with the Bink color
Anyway, you are talking about what has been in my head for a while now. I really know what you are going through, at times I feel like I’m getting unbearable by people and all for I complain too much, but I keep telling myself it’s just a phase and it will fade away, though I don’t think so!!
Keep it up..
i would say blood, cardiac muscle, veins, artery, valves, things like that.
There maybe be something that you are trying to run from so that you are you end up complaining a lot to your friends. Maybe you should stop running away and face it . Accept and embrace it so that you can live peacefully. A moment of silence with yourself can help. No need for anyone else. Just look for the wound and heal it.
Qwaider.. kiss my ass! how about that!
Dima.. my blog previously was pink.. Qwaider is just on crack and loves to TEASE me.. Can I say tease without anyone getting offended?
Jasim.. Bink is great.. want me to spill bebsi on your combuter?
th14.. thanks for giving me a biology lesson.. I wasn’t aware of the components of the heart.. I must have been asleep while I was majoring in biology.. that’s why I got out of it and decided to do comp sci! I wasn’t good at this remembering simple facts..
The Observer.. I am running away from my self from all that pain that I have been building up.. I will try to slowly change.. takes me time.. I am slow.. :potplant1.gif:
your welcome.
this is page 666
looool… yah it is post 666!!
lool..
I love it how Arabs say.. common.. go get married like it is something they do every day..
STUPID mentality..
Me kiss your ass?! hmmm someone thinks so highly of their ass as I can see
yes qwaider.. you wish!
I usually just haunt, but I have to say this to you. It sounds like you are suffering from a bout of deppression and if it has been this way for more than 2 weeks you should talk to your doctor. This is very common for short periods of time but if it continues talk to someone.