And they said I couldn’t do it!

After many days, many weeks, many months, many years, I have finally done it. I am finally sitting doing nothing. I don’t care. I want to do nothing. Feel like I have no obligation. No work. Nothing. I laugh at those that had to go to work today. I didn’t have to. I didn’t want to. It feels great. I am enjoying this feeling that everyone is off doing something and I am just sitting doing nothing. I am at home doing nothing. Just being a couch potato browsing the net, listening to music, and reading articles about random topics. Just enjoying what it feels like to be a house bum. I love it. I miss it, and I am going to do this more often.

I am taking this whole week off, and in reality I just need a couple of days, but I had to leave. I needed the time to be away from chaos. Time away from people. It is great not talking to anyone. No chatting. Not having to hear about other people’s stories. Not having to make small talk and be forced into a conversation.

I always had a phobia from being alone. I always had this fear that I will grow old and alone. No one by my side. No friends, no family, and no children to bear my name. However, in reality I quit caring. What I always wanted in life is not really what I wanted. It is what society forced upon me to want. It is like a rule that I had to follow. I rather be alone. I rather live a life alone with no headaches. No one to tell me what to do or force some social ideology upon me. I don’t want that. I don’t want any of it. Sitting here alone, enjoying the simple pleasures of life got me thinking a lot of what I want. I want the silence. I want the quiet life. I lived the past twenty six years of my life in mad chaos with too many people around me. Too many people talking. I never in my life met someone who just listened. Why can’t people just listen, or just not talk at all and savor the silence? Just for a few days. Everyone should try this. Savor the silence. Try to spend time alone and not think, not communicate, and not worry about anything or anyone.

You may think that I have totally lost my mind writing this post, believe me, I am not on drugs, I mean I am not taking any medication or ruining my health. Due to this quietness and this solitude; I did not drink coffee today, I didn’t need any sleeping aids, no headache, I didn’t need anything! It is a great feeling. This alone feeling.

I need more of it from time to time.

Like Hilary Duff would say.. So Yesterday..

Random Thoughts