Eventful day..

I decided to make a plan for my day. Here I am early morning waiting for the day to begin. I got so much to do. I got aerobics class at 8:45 am. I have to get back home and polish up and look all pretty by the afternoon. I have a stupid engagement party to go to. I am forced to go to it. At times since my mom drove me nutz about it I felt like saying, “no I do no want to go”. I should have said that. I don’t know why I keep getting dragged into it anyways. I don’t choose my own clothes because my mom wants me to dress a certain way like I am her Barbie doll. Because she knows all about fashion and how girls should wear. I first bought a stupid skirt that she approved and said it is nice. It is nice and cute and short. (I like wearing short skirts).. so then the next day we go to the mall again and she sees another skirt and says, no YOU are wearing this. This looks better and longer. (knee high).. I am like wtf. Why you made me buy the other one. I have a short fuse and I told her I am not paying for it, I am sick of buying clothes that out of no where you agree or not agree to it. So she paid for it and is forcing me to wear it. I just gave up and didn’t care. (as long I didn’t have to pay for it!) I don’t know why she does it. Half the time I feel she is embarrassed that I am her daughter in front of other people. I mean she should be. I am 26, not married nor engaged. I don’t have a real future path. I seem disinterested about most things in the world, and people my age have 3 kids by now!

All I can say is. I am happy to be alone and not being controlled by some stupid Arab guy. I was talking to another old friend about this. She is going out with an Indian guy. Her parents are so against it. His parents are so against it. She is like Arab guys are slum. They don’t care about anyone but themselves. She is like he is Muslim and that’s all that matters. I was like I guess you are right. I mean what am I supposed to say? Arab guys are not that bad, some are stupid and a lot of them don’t want commitment till they are over 35! And when they are 35 they want to make sure they find a girl who is 18, fresh young, and does not have so many futuristic ideas and a career. For them she has not experienced life and they will show her their way. I mean common!! 18 and not experienced life.. lol they don’t know how much life has changed between generations. BIG time!

The funny thing is, I was at a wedding shower once, and this girl who was exactly my age sat next to me. She had white streaks in her hair, I was surprised she didn’t dye her hair. Since she is LEBANESE.. So she started talking to me since she noticed I was in her age group. She is like I am Lebanese from Calgary. I was like nice. She then asked, are you married and have kids? .. I was like hmmm no. She is like why? I told her I am in University and I just started working too. She is like you went to SCHOOL. And you got a job! I was like hmm yah. To me it was odd she asked that. Cause from my mentality, you finish high school and you go off to higher education and try to get a career for your self. Simple as that. She then said, wow you are lucky, I have a son and he drives me crazy. He is 4 now. I was married at 17. I was like wow. When I was 17 I was in grade 12 and wondering why my Biology project only got me a 95% and not a 100%! I felt really bad because after that she felt so down and felt like she was nothing in front of me. It felt weird. Most moms would love her since she married young and has children and takes care of her husband, but the pain in her eyes killed me.

So I just sat there thinking. Why the rush? Why even have kids? Too many people in the world. The population is too high! .. eh.. whatever. Like I care anyways. I just felt bad for her. She was young, gorgeous, but had white streaks in her hair and had such a painful expression on her face. Such a sad life.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!