I was reading this job salary negotiation article on Yahoo and I found this line interesting: (link)

Talking about money during the hiring process should feel nothing like being a contestant on a nerve-wracking game show. Job candidates who prepare before the interview and adhere to some specific principles during the negotiation will eliminate much of the guesswork in the equation.

It’s funny.. for me.. I hate asking for money. (I feel like I am being cheap and so low class).. I got to the point where salary is not a problem. I just accept whatever. It don’t matter. It’s the whole package, work environment, co-workers, supervisors, people! That’s what is more important. It’s not how much money you get, it’s how you feel going to work.

So they had the salary calculator.. wooow.. fun!! So I didn’t know which city to pick.. so I picked my old home town of Chattanooga, TN. I picked Graphical User Interface (GUI) designer level 3! I was thinking it is realistic enough to what I do! So the average salary is.. (drum rolls please).. $76,935 a year! Should I move back? lool NO! but I just thought it was a little bit off and too unrealistic.. It’s quite fun though..I wonder if I was getting paid that much what I would do with all that loot.. I think I would buy a boat.. I was thinking of getting a mini little boat.. I love water and I want a boat!

I want boat!! give me boat.. muwahahaha..

Funny, Random Thoughts

Sometimes I sit here and think.. will I ever love anyone again? Well, people tell me you are so lucky, you didn’t have to suffer anymore or marry someone to end up divorcing him, etc etc.. and I just sit there and think, yes, but my problem is, was it really my fault? You know what, of all honesty, NO! I just have a certain view of life that is so disciplined and very planned out. Unfortunetly, many people don’t seem to be that way. They want to live the moment. That’s it. Not really caring about the consequences and future direction. That’s what bugs me. That actually pains me. I have an uncontrollable mentality that can’t stand such actions.

I always look back and think of the past. My regrets. I try to convince my self that life will be better. Things will change and I should stay positive. I should. It’s not that hard really. I just need time to focus.

It just takes time. A lot of time.

So I always fear the moment that I will like someone again. I don’t think I can, and if I do, will it be based on liking someone for real or just puppy love or just plain infatuation? I really don’t know. So far I could care less. I promised my self that I will never care or put so much effort to care about another human being again. No one really cares about me. So why should I care about them? All these questions and honestly, I don’t want to. Not now, maybe never again. Well they always say, never say never. It is just so hard to go through the pain all over again knowing that the other person does not put so much effort into a relationship filled with care and compromise. It’s just hard. Very hard!

I wish I can just go back 5 years ago and tell my self, you are an idiot, he didn’t love you, he never did, he used you, and it was better to be alone and enjoy the fun of having friends away and being care free and happy. I was happier. I had a motive to life. I didn’t have to think about someone else. I didn’t have to care too much. It was just great. But I fell into the evil spell called love. I forced my self out of it by hate and tormenting my soul and hating everything and everyone around me.

So why should I fall in love again? I find it silly. It is not worth the pain anymore. Being alone enjoying life, not have to worry about someone having certain expectations of you and wanting to use you. For me it was using me for the way I looked, then after I got a job, for my money, and in the end, I no longer had either to keep someone interested.

Being used sucks. Being alone is better. Love is not great. Just a toucher filled painful feeling. That’s what it is!

Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!

Well.. 5 years ago.. around this time I stepped foot at a work place. I didn’t know where it was going to lead me. No real future direction. Just wanted a summer job to get some work experience. Nothing more. Just to go. Do some work and that’s it. Two months later I was hired officially as part time employee. One and a half years later I was hired as a full time employee. Now I am a lazy bum programmer working 8 – 4 doing what I do best. Make things PRETTY! That’s my job. Make games, make anything graphically appealing, the whole 9 yards.

I had a lot of ups and downs the past 5 years working. I got to admit, I have had incidents where I wanted to quit about 10 times. Maybe 11 just for the hell of it. I was bored one day and wanted to get a more challenging job. I get bored easily. I have to always be brain stimulated for hours and hours. Only way for me to do work.

The worst down side that I had another job offer but I sat for 2 days straight, not sleeping, and wondering if I should take it or not. How my life would change or not. If I regret it. I donno. Maybe today thinking about it. I don’t find it so bad. I honestly prefer to be at one work place for a long time. I know how some people change jobs like they change underpants. It’s that crazy for some people. Other people tell me that I have to find another job because I have a lot of potential to grow in position, in salary, in everything. But thinking about it, I don’t think I want to right now. After the crazy year I had, I seriously want to have a really calm relaxed life. I need time to just do my work, have fun with life, and not think too much of the future. Just go with the flow. See where things may lead me down the road. As for now, I will just kick back, relax, work friggen 7 days a week for the next month, and enjoy my summer!

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts

Weather forecast for this year. High temperatures with extra high UV index that is to burn my nose! :lol: .. I woke up yesterday and I did notice my nose being awfully red.. then today my mom was like.. WHAT THE! What happened to your nose. It is burned. I was like yah.. I noticed too. It doesn’t hurt.. she is like (maslookh salekh… :lol:).. meaning (bbq’ed) loolÂ�? hehehe.. so yah.. I finally got my first sun burn. After all the years living in a dessert.. after all the years living in Canada, I finally got my tan body to burn! I am so burned! lool my hands are super dark.. my nose is burned.. and I feel like getting highlights to contrast that. I need to look like a Brazilian who spends half their life at the beach!Â�? Aah the beach.. I wish I was there now..

Funny

It is strange.. have you ever had that feeling that someone so close to you that is just a friend..? You really don’t have much in common.. nothing really at all and he ends up secretly liking you.. Like it will never happen and no future what so ever. It is not just like like.. not puppy dog like.. something a little bit more. Hmm.. I donno. I don’t want to play the like game. I am not in the mood. I want to focus on me for a while. But I find it cute. Someone likes me and all I can do is giggle and laugh. :lol:

Aaah time to go back to reality and not care.. I love being alone and single and free! I will be depressed about this in one year.. just count the days with me! :lol:

Blah Blah, Funny, They said what?