It’s the long weekend here in Canada since tomorrow (July 1st) is Canada day! Yuppi! Fireworks show tomorrow.. Anyways, today I woke up, went to the gym and then I went shopping. I went to Payless and got me two pairs of shoes. They had buy one, get one half off. So I was like why not. I didn’t want black shoes, so I got white and brown sandals. Cool eh?
This is the white one I got..
Anyways, after that, I got home and my mom the past God known when kept complaining that my hair is too black. Cause last time I dyed it I actually dyed it such a dark colour that it turned out black. :lol: .. my mom hates it, I don’t care. I know black is not my natural colour. I am born with chestnut coloured hair. So I told her, you want my hair lighter, then HIGHLIGHT IT! lool So I did, I got the highlight kit and told her now it’s in your hands. Do it. So I got nice very
simple highlights. I didn’t want to go too blond, just nice streaks of light colour.
The desk lamp made it a bit too light.. It still has black inside, but the highlights are on top. I am satisfied with it. My mom still complained cause she wanted all my hair to be lighter. She said that I made my self too dark since I am tan. (She is a typical Arab mom who wants me to be WHITE!) Blah.. I like being tan..
Anyways, then the rest of the day I was just slouching and being lazy. I actually fell asleep watching some boring Arabic show about names. People ask about their names and this lady tells them how their names reflect their life. They had the name Mona. and the lady kept talking about the name and sometimes it is not that great of a name. In Arabic it means a wish or desire, but it not really a wish, etc. She also suggested that people with that name should probably change it (use a nickname or people to start calling Mona’s with different names). So here is my question, if I never mentioned my name on my blog, what would you think my name is? What should my name be! That’s a good question eh? I don’t know what my name would be or I never actually thought about having a different name. I always liked my name. Cute and simple. Hmm.. tough question eh?
I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I think I really am sick and tired of everything. I really am. I think since I have such unappreciative people I am working for I am so sick of what I am doing. I wrote about what happened a couple of days ago here. That got my motivation at an all time low. It is making me hate what I am doing. I used to love it and it was the only thing that kept me sane, but when you are working for someone and they completely unappreciate and not care how hard you work it really makes you sick of what you are doing. This also reminded me of another project website I was working on a three months ago and the person I was working with completely back stabbed me and made me feel like shit. Read about what happened here. I over reacted and I agree but why do people do this to me? I feel like I am so weak and I am not concentrating on work anymore. I feel like whatever I do no one will like it. I feel like my skills are hitting rock bottom and I am just not as good at what I do like I used to be.
It does make me sad really. At the same time what am I to do? I see people around me at work and they don’t seem to have that extra emotional caring about their work. They just come to work cause they have to. I am slowly getting scared of work and I am trying to just focus and not be afraid. But I am always afraid. People ask me why I didn’t buy a car, why I don’t go on vacations, etc. I can’t afford it and I am scared about the future. I am not a permanent employee and any day things will just end. So I am just putting half my salary now towards saving bonds. I just wish I didn’t have stupid student loans. Why do I have to suffer from loans? It’s all my fault. I should have never taken student loans and I should have just worked. My brother got his first degree paid for completely by my parents. When it came to me to go to University, my dad just didn’t have anymore money saved, and he was off and on with work. So now I have to suffer for it. I was getting around $10,000 a year of loans with summer school.
Life sucks. I am working to pay loans. People think I go shopping or always buying stuff, on the contrary, I go to the mall every day cause my bus stop is there. To walk around! To see people! Last time I bought anything expensive was my computer, and I had to put that on credit card! That was it!
My other problem is that since I am bored and have no real direction at life I tend to get mad easily at anyone cause I hate everything. Well not hate hate, but I am so I don’t know how to describe it. Sick and tired of everything!
This is probably the hardest thing for us humans to do. Harder than being in love and having to deal with the opposite gender. Finding a true friend. A friend you can trust and love and be around with. It’s hard to find people like that now a days. But once you do, it is the only thing that will make you smile in the morning; knowing that you have a friend that will always be there to listen to you and help you out. Friendship is hard work, but it is a good way to share happy times and fun.
So let’s get back on how to be a good friend, all I can suggest, just be there for your friend. Listen to them and be so informal and relaxed, argue and fight, and scream and just have a good time. Be natural around them and never think twice to what you say.
My mom always tell me this, “El janna bedoon nas ma betendas.” Translation: “No point in stepping foot into heaven without people around you.” Only few good things I listen to from my mother! Shocking isn’t it! hehehe
Here I go again complaining. I barely slept last night much because I had to go through friend’s emotional dilemmas. It all started last night around 11:30 when she continually kept sending me SMS and calling in crying mode. I am like what’s the problem. She kept telling me about this idiot she is dating and how bad he treats her. That he wants her to buy him stuff all the time. Like groceries and food at restaurants. I kept telling her to stop it and I begged her to just dump him. So last night he messages her asking her to buy a Lacoss shirt. One of those really expensive polo shirts. I am like what the frigg! She just didn’t understand why the hell he would ask her to buy a 200 dollar shirt. And she kept asking me if she really seemed so desperate and just wants a guy to like her no matter what.
So I kept begging her to just leave him and stop this desperate need to always have a guy. I mean we all want a guy and want to be loved and pampered, but not this way. I kept telling her that this is bad news and she barely knows him for 3 or 4 weeks and he treats her this way. I just don’t understand why Arab guys or even guys in general are resorting to such methods of using a girl. Guys always complain that girls use guys for the money, but in reality no. It is not that way at all!
So she sent him an SMS back telling him that she is not made of money, etc. He messages her back saying, “you are weak, by the way for your information now we are not dating seriously. I don’t want you to buy me anything anymore.”
Seriously, if a guy said that to me I would seriously cause some damage. I am very revengeful and no one would ever dare treat me this way. It is so hard to convince her though to stop her crazy acts and going out with Arab bozos. She is better than that, we are all better than that.
This situation reminded me of the song by the Cardigans, “Lovefool” from Romeo and Juliet.
This is probably the hardest thing for us humans to do. Harder than being in love and having to deal with the opposite gender. Finding a true friend. A friend you can trust and love and be around with. It’s hard to find people like that now a days. But once you do, it is the only thing that will make you smile in the morning; knowing that you have a friend that will always be there to listen to you and help you out. Friendship is hard work, but it is a good way to share happy times and fun.
