Ashamed of being an Arab. A must read!
This subject has always puzzled me about Arabs here in Canada. Maybe I notice this more because I am one. Then I realized that I myself is guilty of such actions. I don’t want to act like an Arab or even want to be one. Here I admit it. I finally admitted it. The whole concept and word rebellious is due to my dislike of being one! However, I am not 100% ashamed of being one, I like the culture, but I don’t like the mentality. I don’t like how Arabs use and abuse the word “Arabic” for their advantage and to ridicule others with that word. I don’t like how parents shield their children to the point where my generation or even younger is trying to escape it so badly and resort to living a double life. Life has changed, but they didn’t. Arabs don’t change their mentality easily. Yet, we live here in North America and things did not change. It gotten worse. The generation X is completely rebelling and not wanting to be a part of their family’s generation. Our lifetime has easy immigration to the 1st world, technology, the internet, and globolization, and that has changed everything. Yet, how can you change some of the most stubborn and reserved cultural groups that move here?
So these thoughts have been battling me for years. Since I moved to North America when I was 11 years old. I was stuck between two worlds. The Arab world with its people who did not accept us, due to political and racist reasons, and people here who completely think we are from Mars or something because we look different. So what do you do? Seriously.
So going back to being an “Arab”. It is supposed to be a sacred lovely thing to be. Being an Arab. Being part of an marvelous and vivid history and religion. However, your culture is not accepting you because you are not so conservative and act like an “Arab”.. I mean who came up with that non-sense anyways. Act like an “Arab”. Is the word Arab a noun or verb? Seriously.
I can’t fathom or accept the idea of being an Arab anymore. I feel that my blood is inevitably drenched with it that I don’t know how to get rid of it. It’s like I wish I had new blood. It’s sick I know. I am just sick of who I am. I can’t change it. I can’t get rid of it. It’s like a permanent mark that I cannot remove.
Why was I brought up in such a closed minded environment and yet the world around me is different. I see so many variations. So many differences. Different Arab countries treat each other differently. But there are so many things in common.
This is what I despise:
- All Arabs seem to form a community and they all know each other to a point that they know what you eat and what you drink every day! (I’m not joking about this!)
- Mothers can’t stop bragging about their kids although half the crap they say is untrue. I know, I went to school with them.
- Mothers brag about the intelligence of their children and how they are straight A honor students. Then graduating from University with an honors and top of their class degree and getting a real permanent amazing job at a well respected company. Then the best one, which I discovered lately is comparison of salaries. (Those with the same degree as me. ) It’s funny, I been working for 5 years and I get the same salary as someone who has been working for barely a year. Really funny.
- Mothers brag about marriage proposals. How young and gorgeous their daughter are. For some weird reason everyone is still 20 years old! Daily things I hear.. “Oh this girl had 3 or 4 guys coming to see her for possible proposals, one is a doctor, and another an Engineer, etc. They are so lucky. Mona why not you?” I want to shoot my self every time I hear that.
- Arabs brag about their children to a point that they are angels although they are corrupt drunks, thiefs, or drug addicts. “My son never goes out at night so late, always behaved and prays 5 times a day, never misses a prayer.” They do go out late, but their excuse is staying over their friend’s house. In reality, they are out in clubs Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Yes I did mention drugs. I am not joking about that. I seen it and I seen them smoking it at school. And for theft, yes they are many reported incidents of bank robberies in the past caused by Arab gangs.
- Arabs who walk in gangs and think they are bad-ass by speaking English in a bad accent with a mix of Arabic to insult non-Arabs walking down the streets. I feel like I want to take a bat and smack it on their heads every time I hear that.
- At weddings, all Arabs do is stare at each other and see who is dressed in more revealing clothes. The mohajabah (Veiled) or non-mohajabah. Yes the mohajabah wins this one, cause wearing a tight bare dress with a stupid skin tight shirt under is no longer covered.
- Arabs who speak loud. God they speak loud and are so embarrassing. Especially parents cause they don’t know how to lie or keep a secret. They don’t care if they embarrass you. You are still their little child. Forever and ever. Even if you have kids and their kids have kids. You are still their little child and many stories to tell! And they will tell it to complete strangers. Arabs don’t think other Arabs are strangers. Arabs are all the same to them. They speak Arabic. That’s it! They are are brothers and sisters due to their common Arabic heritage.
- Arabs are too emotional and dramatic. They sit in groups and tell old stories of how when they were 10 and they went to the butcher shop and saw a lamb’s head get cut off and brought it home for dinner. To them it was drama and a great story to tell!
- To Arabs, if a person is non-Arab, they treat them like the anti-christ. No hello, no goodbye, complete afraid of non-Arabs. Except Italians. Oh how much Arab guys want to be Italians. With the extra gel and the heavy cologne and the dark clothes. They love being an Arab and they talk shit about others, but they want to be Italians like the characters in the movie The Godfather.
- They would tell non-Arabs how Arabic they are and how much they love their culture and they try to convert people and want to show them how awesome it is to be an Arab. However, in reality, when they are around Arabs, they swear up and down and don’t even mention what country they are really from. Hence, the Palestinian-Jordanian thing. I could never tell if a person is really from Jordan or actually is of Palestinian origin. They just don’t want to admit it.
- I can’t stand Arab women who just go over to each other homes and have to welcome their guest with the most extravagant cooking and gold plated dishes and brag from where they got it from and which cooking show they saw the recipe at and how they perfected it with a few tricks and secret additions. Who cares! You bought the damn food from the Arabic variety store. And the sweets your husband bought it from there too. So give it a rest!
- How their grandchildren are white with light eyes (they say blue mostly) cause their sons married a gorgeous white Arabic girl with blue eyes. They love being an Arab but hate looking like one. Hypocrites.
Thirteen main points are enough. Yes, lucky thirteen. So I hate being an Arab just for those reasons. Even more. The worst thing was today. If I am busy or watching TV, my mom would sit next to me and starts criticizing me.
This is today’s conversation.
Mother: What are you watching and why?
Me: TV, can’t you tell.
Mother: Why you watching it, go clean or do something useful that requires body movement. You are so lazy. And stop drinking cola, juices or anything that is not water. All that stuff has gas, sugar, and caffeine. It will ruin your bones.
Me: my bones?
Mother: Yes, they had it on TV today. There is a bone disease cause of all this junk you drink where you will not be able to walk anymore. Your bones become brittle and weak.
Me: Mother, I don’t have a disease, I am not sick, I work out all the time, and I am not 50!
Mother (angry): You look 50! Anyways, age does not matter, it happens at any time. Just wait and see. Also diabetes. It’s all in your family.
Me: My family? You mean you?
Mother: No your father’s side. You inherited everything from him.
Me (sarcastically): ok, and your family is so perfect, I forgot.
Mother: Why you talk to me like this. I’m your mother. You act like you hate me. You never listen to me. Like I am a stranger to you. I will die early cause of you. If I die tomorrow it is all cause of you.
Me (angry) : Ok mom. Thank you. (I leave the room and go to my room and try to convince my self that I have short term memory).
Great life eh? That’s my 14th point. To Arabs, everything that they hear from TV is true. A doctor on some stupid Arabic show said so. It must be true. And they continuously criticize their kids for not following doctor’s advice! What doctor? Some stupid idiot who sucks at being a real doctor, but can’t do anything about it, so he goes on TV and brags about shit that he sucks at!
God! At this rate I will get seriously sick and die from a heart attack or stroke from the constant nagging and criticism!
Hello world! My name is Mona, a Palestinian living in London, Ontario, Canada. I am a computer programmer and graphics designer. This is my personal web blog, and you can learn more about me [
Thank you for your commment, Arabs are liars and cheaters, and they manipulate everyone with Islam. They think you have to be arab to be muslim. They harass and force their version of Islam on you. They have no sympathy with other muslims but themselves. They expect everyone to support Palestine, and make Palestine a big issue. They’re sell outs. They sold out their brothers in Islam. I have no ounce of sympathy over their stupidity. They always follow the west like idiots. I’ll never go to hajj under the Saudi government. Arabs look down on everyone but themselves. They never choose between minorities or whites.. They act jewish to me…
I’ll never trust an Arab ever, and I think ten times before I do..
It is real sincere of you to admit the flaws of arabs, and it is good to know that you are a better person because of it. I will always pray in my heart for you that things get better. There are always other cultures of Islam to go to and be with. And you don’t ever have to marry an Arab guy, marry who you want and do what you want…
There are better muslims out there who’ll never sell out on anyone… or you….
keep in touch with me, I have a similar problem in someways. email me all the time, and I’ll help you with that stuff.
I know many backwards muslims from different areas.
Always remember it was not the Arabs who found Islam. Islam has always existed since the beginning of time with different people and different prophets, and different cultures. Arabs got lucky to be following that line… Remember that and please preach it to other muslims. or new converts… cause no one understands that…
Hi mona,
I know this is an old thread but I have one question ,and its off topic I guess….. did u go black?
? Are you stupid or bored of coming up with educated questions and you resulted to this idiocity?
Oh Mona com’on!, be a sport..I thought you can take a joke
Anyway, the reason I said that is because you remind me with some white girls’ attitude when they go black.They start bashing their own race and culture, and how bad it is and bla bla.All that while being pimped by the black b/f..Ironic, isn’t it :laugh:
Also, this is not unique to Arab girls.I heard the same complains from Indian, russian,African,korean and even Anglo Saxan girls.
I must admit that I had only read this post out of your blog( I ended up here when I was performing a google search about the beauty of the black eyed Arab female) and instead I ended up at the Arabian black widow’s blog :laugh:
I must say the your blog is extremely mind provoking and made me think about a lot of things such as raising a family here, and how to avoid ending up with offsprings like yourself.Having said that ,and after reading other posts,I cannot help but feel sympathy for you.I admit that my first reaction after reading this ,was rage and anger towards you,and not only because of what you write, but for allowing others with different agendas to insult Arabs and Muslims in general and do not even bother to respond to them . I mean, its one thing to criticize certain aspects of any culture, and it’s another to insult over 280 million people(and thats only Arabs,Mulims are over a billion now).That still called RACISM, isn’t it?!
here is a sample from comment #31 by Latina “I used to be very open to other cultures, (still am)hey, I am spanish. I agree 100% and adore your writing skills.
I agree because I hate muslims so much”
did you get that?? she hates ALL Muslims because some Muslim dude dumped her @ss.So she agrees with you cuz she was dumped!!!! Oh Lord!
I’m not gonna psycho -analyze you as many are doing here, but I have a feeling that this is not only what you’re about( Hate, I mean).After all, you still stick the word “Arab” in your title :cute:
Mona, I dont wanna be mean but you must know that not ALL Arabs act like your dysfunctional family.It can be better, and it can be worst, just like any other group of people.
Mona, you’re acting like a 15 yr old chic.But there must be a reason for that, my guess is its due to short comings on the part of your parents
I still have so much to say but I think I said too much already. :cute:
Be part of the solution instead of being part of the problem.
May God bless you and give you the peace of mind we all deserve.
I agree with Nana a 100%. It not right to let other people bash being who you are. Your an arab. so be proud or deal with.
I live that life too. But i don’t know about you but things aren’t that bad, your dramatizing it a little to much. Be grateful that you even you get up in the morning. And first of all, Your family is just trying to help because they care. They brag because they are proud. they criticize because they want you to be the best. So think before you say anything because you never know what you got until it’s gone.
Oh and p.s you shouldn’t be ashamed of things that don’t concern you.and you should be ashamed of things that you did.
Cause i am for one proud.
Everyone can say whatever they like! Fact is that Arabs find it hard to accept their culture because it all stems from the family. There are Arab families out there who are very dignified. But to talk about a culture you haven’t lived in is a bit stupid. Most of the Arabs I have got to know, aren’t so respectable and dignified as they’d like to think. We are not the worst culture in my view but definitely not the best either. Problem is Arab are caught up in Politics, Religion and other trivial matters which are not as important as their great heritage. When was the last time you heard Arabs talking about Babylon, Ancient Egypt and other things that civilized the world we live in today. Instead, they try nag each about each other and to each other about Politics, Religion. We have forgotten our great heritage and that’s why we are in MESS! I truly believe that if we honor our old ways, cultivate our original culture, we can improve our image.
well i’m 23..married to a real jordanian for 2 years now..and though there is a big difference between the way my life is and the way it would have been had married a white guy from the south (yes, i’m from the south), i havent had such a bad experience with this arab..there are some very exotic and beautiful things about the arab world..BUT I WILL SAY THIS - i agree with the over-the-top ridiculousness of the arab world..it exists in all cultures really but, people tend to become more comfortable with their own madness..my husband also gets stressed out about it..cause it makes no sense.. and we agree that the reason why it’s magnified in places like canada, america, england (places outside the arab countries) is because there is sort of a culture shock and maybe a little bit of an identity crisis among people who are no longer surrounded by other like them..
but i can say just as many bad things about my southern american culture as i’m sure anyone can..so maybe we should all just be happy being what we are cause — we can’t be anything else..and just to touch on something from above..they (mostly) brag because image is SUPER important, even if it’s not real/true..and the lighter skinned arabs are more “prized”..and ALL stereotypes are based on truth..and finally, the arab culture, though deeply rooted in islam, has nothing to do with islam..arab christians can be just as bad or worse..and only 18% of muslims are arab anyway..the biggest % of muslims are asian (in indonesia)..let’s just be proud of ourselves for who we are..or who we’ve become..or where we are from..or what we’ve accomplished..let’s be proud of whatever we want..the best thing you can do if you dont like something is to NOT be it and NOT do it..i wrote too much..bye!
and god forbid someone invites you to their house, then you dont invite them..or you dont bring candy to their kids..it kinda sucks that everyone cant just be cool and chilled out..either you have to go out of your way to have your guests unnecessarily praise you to everyone or you can act normal and then you’re rude and disgraceful but atleast it’s expected from us americans..after all we have no morals and more importantly, we’re not arab
well i agree with u on everything but through it all im still proud of my arab decent
stupid arguments!!
so arabs are racists and canadians are not!!
sally girl, your stupid arguments wont make them like more or less, .. half of them are racists, xenophobes and the other half don’t even care!! and so i do!
if u hate really arabs, stop thinking like one!! or at least be a good one!
A Muslim, Algerian, Arab, Berber, and proud
Hey what’s going on here… If you’re not an Arab, then comment with caution, I am an Arab, lived with an Arab family; I hate it! Parents are very backwards! Very racist, ignorant idiots!- Neglectful as f***! And on top of that EXTREMELY judge-mental and do not know how to care for their children! All this talk about Arabs needs to have backing! We HAD a great history! Not anymore, wake up! I come from the oldest civilization- Iraq..now I see bloodshed, religious fanatics and straight up stupidity! If we want to return to the good old days, then we need to get in touch with our TRUE heritage - Mesopotamia, Babylon, Ancient Egypt, REAL civilizations that contributed to the world! We MUST stop concerning ourselves with religion, politics and so on. They divide us!
i have a question…it seems here in america that arabs either stick with anyone christian or muslim or jordanian or iraqi..just so long as they’re arab because its scary/different to be in a place that you’re not from..or maybe in bigger cities where the chances are better of finding someone from your own country and sometimes even your own city - maybe jordanian stick with jordanians, syrians with syrians and so on…but in the arab world..is it really like that?? i mean..just because arab is arab doesnt mean that the people dont differ country to country..so what i’m getting at..does this type of racism or discrimination occur between mideast people when they are actually in the mideast..or like the generations of immigrants that have came to america..they only divide when they come here..well, they also unite when they come here but in a way that seems uncommon..i’ve heard christian arabs say back home more than likely they’d never associate with a muslim if they didnt have to, or they say “people from this area is like trash” but when they here they talk to these people, work with/for them and act like its all good..so..i’m just wondering..if anyone else has noticed this or has thoughts on it………..COMPLETELY RANDOM!
Totally agree wid whatcha saying girl. Holla from da UK. U should see dem Arabs here grrrr.. I just have to remind my self constantly that Arabs were never like this. I mean take the Arabs of al-andalus (Arabian spain) a long time ago, it was one of the world’s best civilizations! known for poetry,science, music, dancing, romance and most importantly tolerance. Arabic Jews,Christians and Muslims used to live in harmony along with non Arabs. Tell u what sweetness, just forget bout dem peeps. And be proud of ur heritage no matter what. It’s only natural to have bad cells in every society and community . Plus in all fairness, it’s the arabs from the gulf countries who are most embarrassing because of the stupid ideologies they’ve grew with.
Nana, i agree with you 100%. Mona, you should be ashamed of yourself for talking like this. I would sit here and type a 3 page letter of how much you disgust me due to the fact that your an arab but ashamed. Im half lebanese, my mom is american and i was born in Michigan,USA im 23 years old, i hate the fact that im half white! White people are ignorant. Maybe you hate that fact that your palestenian? Im way too angry to even keep going. You can read what nana said twice!
@Joe - thanks for your comment. This is such an old post for me to care about right now. Thanks for insulting the rest of the world. I don’t have to argue with you. Let others look at this and make a judgment of an Arab.