Ashamed of being an Arab. A must read!
This subject has always puzzled me about Arabs here in Canada. Maybe I notice this more because I am one. Then I realized that I myself is guilty of such actions. I don’t want to act like an Arab or even want to be one. Here I admit it. I finally admitted it. The whole concept and word rebellious is due to my dislike of being one! However, I am not 100% ashamed of being one, I like the culture, but I don’t like the mentality. I don’t like how Arabs use and abuse the word “Arabic” for their advantage and to ridicule others with that word. I don’t like how parents shield their children to the point where my generation or even younger is trying to escape it so badly and resort to living a double life. Life has changed, but they didn’t. Arabs don’t change their mentality easily. Yet, we live here in North America and things did not change. It gotten worse. The generation X is completely rebelling and not wanting to be a part of their family’s generation. Our lifetime has easy immigration to the 1st world, technology, the internet, and globolization, and that has changed everything. Yet, how can you change some of the most stubborn and reserved cultural groups that move here?
So these thoughts have been battling me for years. Since I moved to North America when I was 11 years old. I was stuck between two worlds. The Arab world with its people who did not accept us, due to political and racist reasons, and people here who completely think we are from Mars or something because we look different. So what do you do? Seriously.
So going back to being an “Arab”. It is supposed to be a sacred lovely thing to be. Being an Arab. Being part of an marvelous and vivid history and religion. However, your culture is not accepting you because you are not so conservative and act like an “Arab”.. I mean who came up with that non-sense anyways. Act like an “Arab”. Is the word Arab a noun or verb? Seriously.
I can’t fathom or accept the idea of being an Arab anymore. I feel that my blood is inevitably drenched with it that I don’t know how to get rid of it. It’s like I wish I had new blood. It’s sick I know. I am just sick of who I am. I can’t change it. I can’t get rid of it. It’s like a permanent mark that I cannot remove.
Why was I brought up in such a closed minded environment and yet the world around me is different. I see so many variations. So many differences. Different Arab countries treat each other differently. But there are so many things in common.
This is what I despise:
- All Arabs seem to form a community and they all know each other to a point that they know what you eat and what you drink every day! (I’m not joking about this!)
- Mothers can’t stop bragging about their kids although half the crap they say is untrue. I know, I went to school with them.
- Mothers brag about the intelligence of their children and how they are straight A honor students. Then graduating from University with an honors and top of their class degree and getting a real permanent amazing job at a well respected company. Then the best one, which I discovered lately is comparison of salaries. (Those with the same degree as me. ) It’s funny, I been working for 5 years and I get the same salary as someone who has been working for barely a year. Really funny.
- Mothers brag about marriage proposals. How young and gorgeous their daughter are. For some weird reason everyone is still 20 years old! Daily things I hear.. “Oh this girl had 3 or 4 guys coming to see her for possible proposals, one is a doctor, and another an Engineer, etc. They are so lucky. Mona why not you?” I want to shoot my self every time I hear that.
- Arabs brag about their children to a point that they are angels although they are corrupt drunks, thiefs, or drug addicts. “My son never goes out at night so late, always behaved and prays 5 times a day, never misses a prayer.” They do go out late, but their excuse is staying over their friend’s house. In reality, they are out in clubs Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Yes I did mention drugs. I am not joking about that. I seen it and I seen them smoking it at school. And for theft, yes they are many reported incidents of bank robberies in the past caused by Arab gangs.
- Arabs who walk in gangs and think they are bad-ass by speaking English in a bad accent with a mix of Arabic to insult non-Arabs walking down the streets. I feel like I want to take a bat and smack it on their heads every time I hear that.
- At weddings, all Arabs do is stare at each other and see who is dressed in more revealing clothes. The mohajabah (Veiled) or non-mohajabah. Yes the mohajabah wins this one, cause wearing a tight bare dress with a stupid skin tight shirt under is no longer covered.
- Arabs who speak loud. God they speak loud and are so embarrassing. Especially parents cause they don’t know how to lie or keep a secret. They don’t care if they embarrass you. You are still their little child. Forever and ever. Even if you have kids and their kids have kids. You are still their little child and many stories to tell! And they will tell it to complete strangers. Arabs don’t think other Arabs are strangers. Arabs are all the same to them. They speak Arabic. That’s it! They are are brothers and sisters due to their common Arabic heritage.
- Arabs are too emotional and dramatic. They sit in groups and tell old stories of how when they were 10 and they went to the butcher shop and saw a lamb’s head get cut off and brought it home for dinner. To them it was drama and a great story to tell!
- To Arabs, if a person is non-Arab, they treat them like the anti-christ. No hello, no goodbye, complete afraid of non-Arabs. Except Italians. Oh how much Arab guys want to be Italians. With the extra gel and the heavy cologne and the dark clothes. They love being an Arab and they talk shit about others, but they want to be Italians like the characters in the movie The Godfather.
- They would tell non-Arabs how Arabic they are and how much they love their culture and they try to convert people and want to show them how awesome it is to be an Arab. However, in reality, when they are around Arabs, they swear up and down and don’t even mention what country they are really from. Hence, the Palestinian-Jordanian thing. I could never tell if a person is really from Jordan or actually is of Palestinian origin. They just don’t want to admit it.
- I can’t stand Arab women who just go over to each other homes and have to welcome their guest with the most extravagant cooking and gold plated dishes and brag from where they got it from and which cooking show they saw the recipe at and how they perfected it with a few tricks and secret additions. Who cares! You bought the damn food from the Arabic variety store. And the sweets your husband bought it from there too. So give it a rest!
- How their grandchildren are white with light eyes (they say blue mostly) cause their sons married a gorgeous white Arabic girl with blue eyes. They love being an Arab but hate looking like one. Hypocrites.
Thirteen main points are enough. Yes, lucky thirteen. So I hate being an Arab just for those reasons. Even more. The worst thing was today. If I am busy or watching TV, my mom would sit next to me and starts criticizing me.
This is today’s conversation.
Mother: What are you watching and why?
Me: TV, can’t you tell.
Mother: Why you watching it, go clean or do something useful that requires body movement. You are so lazy. And stop drinking cola, juices or anything that is not water. All that stuff has gas, sugar, and caffeine. It will ruin your bones.
Me: my bones?
Mother: Yes, they had it on TV today. There is a bone disease cause of all this junk you drink where you will not be able to walk anymore. Your bones become brittle and weak.
Me: Mother, I don’t have a disease, I am not sick, I work out all the time, and I am not 50!
Mother (angry): You look 50! Anyways, age does not matter, it happens at any time. Just wait and see. Also diabetes. It’s all in your family.
Me: My family? You mean you?
Mother: No your father’s side. You inherited everything from him.
Me (sarcastically): ok, and your family is so perfect, I forgot.
Mother: Why you talk to me like this. I’m your mother. You act like you hate me. You never listen to me. Like I am a stranger to you. I will die early cause of you. If I die tomorrow it is all cause of you.
Me (angry) : Ok mom. Thank you. (I leave the room and go to my room and try to convince my self that I have short term memory).
Great life eh? That’s my 14th point. To Arabs, everything that they hear from TV is true. A doctor on some stupid Arabic show said so. It must be true. And they continuously criticize their kids for not following doctor’s advice! What doctor? Some stupid idiot who sucks at being a real doctor, but can’t do anything about it, so he goes on TV and brags about shit that he sucks at!
God! At this rate I will get seriously sick and die from a heart attack or stroke from the constant nagging and criticism!
arabs are always arabs, tell me about it.. I regret having an arab root day by day.. but later on i realize, we aren’t as bad as mexcians lol
Oh come on, your mother’s nagging and criticisms sounds just like mine and my mother isn’t Arab.
Great ranting post!! i agree about what you wrote…but most mothers and fathers are like this, and not only arabs! but i think arabs like to dramatize things always.
Have a great and happy day!
Ur mom sounds like a real piece of work.
(
Who would want to listen to that everyday.
I’ve never been friends with an Arab so I don’t know much about them. But ALOT of what you’ve said I’ve read before in other Arab blogs I’ve come across. Things like phoniness, racism, gossip, excessive staring, screwed up kids, parents who do nothing but criticize and neglect their kids, black and white thinking and so on and so on. It sounds so familiar. Most Arabs seem to fit this description.
Kudos! no but really that is the case with most people *i seriously hope it is*
main pet peeves:
comparison with other kids, that annoys the hell out of me.
dealing with outsiders, arab or non-arab.
completer faith in “respected authorities”
The great tales of childhood that are not all that
Anyways our generation is so much of an outcast to society that it is not even funny anymore
Joy!
You don’t need to be ashamed of being a Arab, the Arab world has introduced us to many magnificent things both in science and art, enjoy your Arab heritage and reject those things you don’t care for, you are a young modern Arab woman, the fact that you can question the things that others do proves that, you can be proud of yourself, hopefully you are the future.
Regards an Anglo Saxon.
Moey – funny Mexicans..
D – I know most mothers are like that.. but Arab mothers are way more dramatic!
Summer – I love ranting. It’s what keeps me alive! And yes, most parents are like this, but Arabs love the drama!
Jason – try to be friends with Arabs or just get to know them, and see how much of what I said is really true!
BamBam – we are outcasts! our generation is so different.. I agree!
Mark – I am not ashamed of the heritage and culture. It is amazing and contributed so much to our modern world, but the times we live in has changed so rapidly, that the older generation cannot fathom or understand it at all!
Great post. I agree with Mark that you should take what you like about being an Arab and discard what you don’t. Then when you raise your kids, if you choose to have them, they will get the best of both worlds. And there are over-bearing parents in every culture, but I was very shocked when I was in Amman and I heard a mom saying how much her son made. In my family, we NEVER discuss anything like that. My niece asked how much something cost one time and I thought my Granny was going to have a heart attack. We will only discuss money behind closed doors and very rarely. But that’s just a difference in culture. My Granny’s French and very private, so anything like that would be considered poor manners.
Emily – I love your name btw.. and your Granny is right! 100% right!
Nice post….enjoyed the part that talks about arabs wanting to be italian…..they are hairy, loud and talk with their hands..like we do…so they function is the perfect role model …i dont think we can try to be scandinavians….
Ah well it was always thus, we think our elders are fuddy duddy’s and no doubt one day someone will think we are
Well to be honest I’m an arab and I’m proud to be one. Dont know how u say that arabs are very bad to their children!
I dont want to argue because what I read was really immature and doesnt need a reply..all you did is degrade a civilization that brought light to the world,because your mother tells to not to watch tv all day.. Try reading more about ur history when the streets of cairo, sanaa, and jerusalem were lit at night london and paris were nothing but villages.
Anyway,when u grow up you’ll understand.
PS i’ve never seen an arab who wants to be Italian..!!
Meme, I am sorry that you live in your little cocoon and didn’t interact with so many Arabs in your life. By the way.. it is not cause of my mom.. it’s cause of the whole stupid Arabic mentality.. plus hon.. next time if you don’t like to read something, don’t bother commenting on it or continue reading.. It’s Arabs like you that I can’t stand! Close minded people who only think that they are the best in the world without realizing the true corruption within!
i came across your blog and i only read some of this article. just wanna tell you that its not about being arab or not but say alhamdulillah that you were born knowing the Language of the Qur’an, Allah (swt) chose the arabic language for His book so that must be something special, dont you think? ppl all over wish to learn arabic so thank Allah for the blessing He have bestowed upon you.
Mouwahida.. why you preaching to me about Islam? How do you know if I am Muslim or not? If you read my article carefully you will realize I am talking about Arabic mentality! Not the whole essence and beginning of Arabs and Islam..
A lot of the stuff you talked about is true and I’m sure can be found in other societies or maybe minorities as well. I think the one thing that really stands out is the parents’ relationship with their children once their children have passed well into adulthood. Arab parents seem to not let go until the child is married. To them, that’s when the boy becomes a man, and the girl becomes a woman. This is unfortunate, and I’m not really sure what the son or daughter can do to get the idea in their parents’s heads. Maybe one thing the son or daughter can do is ask their parent “how old were you when you had your first child?” Most probably for our parents’ generation, it will be something like 20-23. Most young men and women today have not had their first child at that point and if they were not married, their parents still treat them as kid that need to be protected. This is when the son or daughter I think should remind their parents that “hey, I’m old enough now, when you were my age you were having kids and taking care of them. I can take care of myself.” I think most parents will still dismiss this argument, but it will actually sink in eventually.
You have to stand up to your parents sometimes, be strong in your responce, but not disrespectful and I guess that’s the most important caveat to this; disrespecting them would overshadow any reasonable argument that one might present.
Mona: People are right. You have been corrupted by the West.
Hey Jason the Western world is a mystical place that only exists in people’s imaginations. If Mona was corrupted or what I like to call having her horizons expanded it was by the country she lives in. It’s pretty hard to move to Canada and not be changed even a little by it. I get the feeling that some people look upon change as a bad thing.
Sapphire I was just teasing.
hard to tell with text :mrgreen:
Yes, I’m a 28 years old male. I came to the USA ALONE when I was 18 years old. Worked like a dog, started school after 2 years of my arrival, went to college, graduated, haveing a good job now.
Being alone for 9 years was a joy. Not to have someone criticize you for every little thing.
Now my mother is here for almost a year and there is no way to please her. Everything I do, say or wear is not good enough for her.
Dont get me wrong, I love my mother. In her mind I’m wrong and that’s all she can see. Sometimes I try to convince myself that I’m WRONG.
aren’t mothers joyful!!
I liked your subject, except the title. I think is too harsh.
I myself am not Arab. However the things you described don’t sound so bad. Arabs like a lot of immigrants tend to have big families and familes tend to stay close together. When people are together they argue. Thats a hell of a lot better than having nobody. Poor baby your mother loves you and cares about. A lot of moms just flat out ignore their kids.
And besides leave the hate and racism against Arabs to the United States government, which everyone knows is a puppet of oil corporations. Like some other people said Arabs have a lot to be proud of. The city my government is supposed to be brtinging civilization to is the oldest city in the world Baghdad. America and Canada are only 300 years old and are only their by stealing and killing the native people. Now the Middle East is next its like the Indian Wars all over again
I cant stand it when people have an opinion on something they have no REAL idea about, and to top it off put a positive spin on it “Great post. I agree with Mark that you should take what you like about being an Arab and discard what you don’t.” your an idiot emily. being arab sucks. and this is coming from a canadian born, english speaking, half arab, who has truly been exposed to both worlds, and its depressing and confusing at the same time. mental shit is one thing, but physically, you dont know what the fucks going on. People think your jewish, italian, greek, and you can never clean up well. You always feel second best to all the other pure white kids, and people expect you to just laugh it off cause your half and you understand how fucked up you(being me) accually are. I constantly try to aviod my dad(the arab)’s side of the family, but i cant really live around my mom(the white)’s side because im too unbalanced to act so laid back and content. I hate my life.
i know how you feel!
i hate hate hate being an arab
i hate who i am, i try to make the best of what i have but it doesn’t work
i have that same feeling of hate waking up every morning
everyday i wish i could change my race
Hello there, everyone. Im not Arab, I used to be open minded, but now I hate Arab soooooooooo much. Especially Arab men.
I love Arab songs, raqs sharqi, foods, etc… I can speak a lil Arabic cos Im muslim, and most unfortunately I married an Arab Palestinian guy whom I thought is really a good muslim cos he claimed himself to be a mujahid from Hammas, but later on I realised that him and most Arabs are BIG liars. He had nothing to do with jihad and he is just a rubbish making up stories for girls to adore him.
I didnt know that Arab men treat their wives like slave, or maybe they dont treat Arab wives as slave, but he tretaed me worse than the Indonesian maids. He didnt work, didnt pay mahar, and kept talking about the wife has to be sabr. He also took my money and savings and claimed that the husband has full authority to his wife’s wealth. As you said, because he is an Arab he thought that we non-arab dont know anything about Islam.
Now I ask for divorce and Im willing to pay him back every cents he spent for me but he demanded 10000 pound. I never met any species of human that is crueler than an Arab man, and worse he uses Islam to justify himself.
People around the world sympathises with the Palestinian people but this Palestinian tricks me and hunting for money and lying to people. And plus I dont know why most Arab men think they are handsome and intelligent and brag about themselves too much without shame but the truth are they are too pathetic.
My apologies to the descent Rabs out there but my experience with my husband is too gross.
I married an Arab Palestinian and since then I started to hate Arab TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Muchas!
wow maria.. you officially married an Arab Ass.. maybe an Ass is better than him.. what a shame.. divorce him!!
Mona- I was blown away by your blog. I’ve just broken up with my Palestinian-Jordanian boyfriend, namely for almost every reason you listed above. His mother, though she lives clear the hell in Jordan, has so much control over her son (he’s 35!) that he is a shell of a man. After his family threatening me for two years (I’m American, which was forbidden in their minds), faking heart attacks to manipulate him into fearing that his actions by dating me were killing his parents (he’s a doctor as well, and knows better!) among other issues (including his beginning to control every move I made, I finally had to end the relationship for my mental sanity, although it broke my heart. I happily learned Arabic for this relationship, joined the Arab Council of Washington, and embraced the beauty of the culture. He is caught between two worlds, and I wonder how he will ever be able to reconcile what he wants with his parents demands that he marry an Arab 20 year-old. I was amazed at your profound points listed above, and my other Arab friends concur that you were spot-on in your assessments!
Mona,
I used to be very open to other cultures, (still am)hey, I am spanish. I agree 100% and adore your writing skills.
I agree because I hate muslims so much, I had a really bad experience with a lebanese man. He was the nicest man on earth and got to love him with all my heart until he showed his true colors: he is married, made me believe he was divorcing, kept stringing me along with lies and false promises. Bottom line he admited he will never divorce (after 2 yrs) once I got pregnant of him.I am 5 month pregnant and he is acting as a total jerk, not even helping me with money. He always brags about how arabs are superior, smarter, generous,how easily they can make money (not the cleanest way), how they invented the alphabet etc…always showing that -godfather- image with his friends. He even cheated on me. I am devastated and can t beleive how a man can be so cruel and manipulative. When I was skinny and hot, he would be all over me, acting possesive and jealous, now he ignores me and acts very distant, like if he met me in the streets. Before he would say I was his world, can t live without me and and all that jazz. I can t beleive a human being could be so evil, and he doesn t feel any remorse cause I am not muslim so in his culture it is accepted. HE even said the holocaust was jewish propaganda. I seriously beleive some of them are brainwashed. And oh, I canèt stand how lebanese man dress, those looooong pointy shoes, versace and tight shirts, arrrrgh can t stand them!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iam an arab girl from london a had to run away from my brothers and parents because situation had become dangerous iam in hideing iam in a relationship with a european guy it is so different being part of his family there so liberial and easy going i dont feel like an arab at all and iam happy being just myself with out being labled
Dose it matter…. I am proud to what you hate the most in you. Too bad that your stuck with it for ever. I know you do not care. Its ok life is good, look forward for some thing more interesting.
Sorry to read something like that. Somehow I came here by mistake, I must have clicked some link on another website.
I myself, an Eruopean, live since 30 years in Arab countries, raised a family and stayed. It is my home and I love the people.
Mona, you have lived all your life abroad and therefore met only Arabs abroad. Maybe people change when they move away.
I must admit, that not all Arabs a alike, not at all!
There are huge differences between countries. Like Palestine, Jordan, Libanon and the North African countires are quite modern, while Saudi Arabia f.e. is extremely conservative.
You cannot put them all under one categorie “Arab”, the ones you hate.
I invite You to visit my website at Islam4Women.org
Salaam
Mona
Hello
You are on the right track here, Rebellious Arab Girl! Keep your confidence high! Arab or not, you are a powerful woman. You are on the road to real independence and liberation. Just follow your heart and don’t let ‘em get you down. Believe in yourself and good things will follow. As a woman, you will have to deal with feeling “less than” in this world. As an Arab woman you may find you have to deal with this feeling ten times over, due to the cultural problems you listed. If you can truly conquer your fears and stay strong, you will create immense self-respect for yourself and no one will be able to shake your happiness, including Arabs. Also, there is always the option of getting out from under the situation altogether. You don’t seem very happy there and staying is your choice. You have other options. Maybe check them out.
Best Wishes,
Veronica
What a waste of time and effort, you have a diseased complex and you should seek therapy otherwise you will turn into an alien
Alien’s are cool.. they eat Human brains.. hum hum!
Hmm.. thanks I guess.
Hey mona, there are a couple of points i wanted to make clear, first of all i think being an arab yourself wether you like it or not the last thing any arab needs is you posting a nagging anti arab blog on the web for everyone to read your sick mentality.
1. You should know more about arabs (your origin) before you criticize them, you brought up the point about arabs hiding their true identity (jordanian-palestinian thing) well i’m going to be a generous arab as you can say and enlighten you, Jordanian people are 99.9 % of palestinian orgins so when someone tells you he/she is from jordan it means that they’re the palestinian refugees who live in jordan(not the ones in lebanon and not the ones who sill live in palestine) so if you’re annoyed about something don’t brag about it simply research it.
Second of all what i’ve read in your article is true that some arabs are double faced or whatever but if you observe the two worlds closely you would find out that the way we are raised is far more better than westerns. We have more manners (I lived in Jordan for 20 years btw and i’m currently living in canada studying) and we are open minded to an extent.
Who said we try to act like italians, and arabs are KNOWN for their hospitality and kindness i myself dont experience that alot in the western world, every nation has its good people and bad people.
Its a shame that you’re writing this article about arabs without even knowing who they really are, i hope that you grow up and be able to criticize your culture in a more mature manner.
P.S. : if you’re going to reply post something mature other than your silly comments for everyone who opposes your ideas, aren’t you open minded ?!?!?!?!
Peace
First off, this post is really old and I don’t know why you are commenting on it. Just you finding my post is quite intriguing. What were you searching for?
By the way, arguing with you or replying to you in a mature manner as you want will not make my message clear to your head. I know everything about Arabs and I my self can say whatever I please. If you find it offensive, then just leave my site and no need to bicker about it like it is a sin I have committed.
I wouldn’t have even replied to this because it is over 5 months old, but you seem to be really angry.
In the end, I can say whatever I want. It is my opinion and no one else’s. I am sorry that it has offended you, but if you don’t like it, then just don’t come to my site again. Simple.
Well I can’t say as I can relate to all the nagging but there are many times when I wish I wasn’t who I am. People think because you are a certain race you have to be a certain way. It makes me want to scream!! I think sometimes life would be easy if I were of another ethinic group. Actually I know it would be.
If u r ashamed of who u r, u will never be respected by others, especially talking about ur mother like that. I hope u will understand that some day…and understand what ur mother…parents, family mean to u…try to be proud of who u r, u’ll be happier in ur life! wish u luck.
Hi!!
I dont live in Canada, I live in Norway- But even if Im not an arab, I understand many things of what you say.. Especially livining between two cultures. ITS soo HARD! And you know what is so funny? Your mother is SERIOUSLY just like mine!! Maybe they are twins or something?? haha I dont know, But her pointless discussions are a BIG part of my daily life.. I hope I will be a Cool mom;)
You should be proud of being arab, I wished I was arabic. Right now Im learning to speak arab, and Im engaged to a maroccean boy.. He prays 5 times a day and is a wonderful person=D
Looove from me
Anti-Arab sentiments, from an Arab? Rather undermines the left-liberal praises hurled in the direction of moderate Islamic families at every opportunity!
Nonetheless, hugely interesting to read. It’s a very acute example of cultural differences in a culturally-displaced family.
It was interesting to read your blog simply because it sounds very similar to my own culture! Im Pakistani! However there are beautiful things about both cultures, but I totally c where you’re coming from. They are obsessed with light skin within my culture too. I come from a family of woman with light skin & light eyes, but it can sometimes be a negative thing too, because people cant see beyond that! It doesnt tell u anything about their character or faith. Its a shame really. Ive always found it hard too, in the sense that I like to mix with other cultures too, but a lot of Arabs do not like Pakistanis so I am told all the time! The arabs I have met have been really nice, hospitable people, mainly from Yemen or Morroco. I really can relate to your comments. Their bad behaviour than reflects on the culture as a whole, Arab,Pakistani,Bengali, whichever! Its not the culture, its the shallow people that represent it in that way! Your not alone, trust me!
Hi nice blog you got and thanks for shar’ing.On the other hand, the second generation, the descendants of Arab immigrants, is thoroughly Americanized. By this time, for a good number of these U.S-born Arabs, the countries from where their parents came are only faintly remembered. They retain only their love for Arab food, dancing and singing. Hurriedly, more than most other immigrants, they melt into American society.Catch 22?? yes that is the way i see it.Wish you well
.Hope things work out for you I know what you mean Arab in the house and some one else out side the house. Double life 
I’m Lebanese and I can’t relate to anything you said…I think you’re stereotyping most of the events you mentioned. Your conversation with your mother sounds like any mother-daughter argument. I think you should embrace your roots and accept that in SPECIFIC contexts people of various cultures may act in specific ways. I’ve never been to a wedding where people stare at who is wearing the most revealing clothes, but women tend to check out others at any ceremony involving fashinable clothes… every culture has its ways which don’t conform to you own opinions of what life should be like. C’est la vie!
You don’t have to relate to anything I said. It’s my opinion and not yours.
if you’re so keen on people having their own opinions, why are you telling me i don’t have to “relate to anything you said” and that it’s “your opinion and not mine”?that’s exactly what i did sweety, i stated my opinion. keep an open mind
Thank you for your commment, Arabs are liars and cheaters, and they manipulate everyone with Islam. They think you have to be arab to be muslim. They harass and force their version of Islam on you. They have no sympathy with other muslims but themselves. They expect everyone to support Palestine, and make Palestine a big issue. They’re sell outs. They sold out their brothers in Islam. I have no ounce of sympathy over their stupidity. They always follow the west like idiots. I’ll never go to hajj under the Saudi government. Arabs look down on everyone but themselves. They never choose between minorities or whites.. They act jewish to me…
I’ll never trust an Arab ever, and I think ten times before I do..
It is real sincere of you to admit the flaws of arabs, and it is good to know that you are a better person because of it. I will always pray in my heart for you that things get better. There are always other cultures of Islam to go to and be with. And you don’t ever have to marry an Arab guy, marry who you want and do what you want…
There are better muslims out there who’ll never sell out on anyone… or you….
keep in touch with me, I have a similar problem in someways. email me all the time, and I’ll help you with that stuff.
I know many backwards muslims from different areas.
Always remember it was not the Arabs who found Islam. Islam has always existed since the beginning of time with different people and different prophets, and different cultures. Arabs got lucky to be following that line… Remember that and please preach it to other muslims. or new converts… cause no one understands that…
Hi mona,
I know this is an old thread but I have one question ,and its off topic I guess….. did u go black?
? Are you stupid or bored of coming up with educated questions and you resulted to this idiocity?
Oh Mona com’on!, be a sport..I thought you can take a joke
Anyway, the reason I said that is because you remind me with some white girls’ attitude when they go black.They start bashing their own race and culture, and how bad it is and bla bla.All that while being pimped by the black b/f..Ironic, isn’t it :laugh:
Also, this is not unique to Arab girls.I heard the same complains from Indian, russian,African,korean and even Anglo Saxan girls.
I must admit that I had only read this post out of your blog( I ended up here when I was performing a google search about the beauty of the black eyed Arab female) and instead I ended up at the Arabian black widow’s blog :laugh:
I must say the your blog is extremely mind provoking and made me think about a lot of things such as raising a family here, and how to avoid ending up with offsprings like yourself.Having said that ,and after reading other posts,I cannot help but feel sympathy for you.I admit that my first reaction after reading this ,was rage and anger towards you,and not only because of what you write, but for allowing others with different agendas to insult Arabs and Muslims in general and do not even bother to respond to them . I mean, its one thing to criticize certain aspects of any culture, and it’s another to insult over 280 million people(and thats only Arabs,Mulims are over a billion now).That still called RACISM, isn’t it?!
here is a sample from comment #31 by Latina “I used to be very open to other cultures, (still am)hey, I am spanish. I agree 100% and adore your writing skills.
I agree because I hate muslims so much”
did you get that?? she hates ALL Muslims because some Muslim dude dumped her @ss.So she agrees with you cuz she was dumped!!!! Oh Lord!
I’m not gonna psycho -analyze you as many are doing here, but I have a feeling that this is not only what you’re about( Hate, I mean).After all, you still stick the word “Arab” in your title :cute:
Mona, I dont wanna be mean but you must know that not ALL Arabs act like your dysfunctional family.It can be better, and it can be worst, just like any other group of people.
Mona, you’re acting like a 15 yr old chic.But there must be a reason for that, my guess is its due to short comings on the part of your parents
I still have so much to say but I think I said too much already. :cute:
Be part of the solution instead of being part of the problem.
May God bless you and give you the peace of mind we all deserve.
I agree with Nana a 100%. It not right to let other people bash being who you are. Your an arab. so be proud or deal with.
I live that life too. But i don’t know about you but things aren’t that bad, your dramatizing it a little to much. Be grateful that you even you get up in the morning. And first of all, Your family is just trying to help because they care. They brag because they are proud. they criticize because they want you to be the best. So think before you say anything because you never know what you got until it’s gone.
Oh and p.s you shouldn’t be ashamed of things that don’t concern you.and you should be ashamed of things that you did.
Cause i am for one proud.
Everyone can say whatever they like! Fact is that Arabs find it hard to accept their culture because it all stems from the family. There are Arab families out there who are very dignified. But to talk about a culture you haven’t lived in is a bit stupid. Most of the Arabs I have got to know, aren’t so respectable and dignified as they’d like to think. We are not the worst culture in my view but definitely not the best either. Problem is Arab are caught up in Politics, Religion and other trivial matters which are not as important as their great heritage. When was the last time you heard Arabs talking about Babylon, Ancient Egypt and other things that civilized the world we live in today. Instead, they try nag each about each other and to each other about Politics, Religion. We have forgotten our great heritage and that’s why we are in MESS! I truly believe that if we honor our old ways, cultivate our original culture, we can improve our image.
well i’m 23..married to a real jordanian for 2 years now..and though there is a big difference between the way my life is and the way it would have been had married a white guy from the south (yes, i’m from the south), i havent had such a bad experience with this arab..there are some very exotic and beautiful things about the arab world..BUT I WILL SAY THIS – i agree with the over-the-top ridiculousness of the arab world..it exists in all cultures really but, people tend to become more comfortable with their own madness..my husband also gets stressed out about it..cause it makes no sense.. and we agree that the reason why it’s magnified in places like canada, america, england (places outside the arab countries) is because there is sort of a culture shock and maybe a little bit of an identity crisis among people who are no longer surrounded by other like them..
but i can say just as many bad things about my southern american culture as i’m sure anyone can..so maybe we should all just be happy being what we are cause — we can’t be anything else..and just to touch on something from above..they (mostly) brag because image is SUPER important, even if it’s not real/true..and the lighter skinned arabs are more “prized”..and ALL stereotypes are based on truth..and finally, the arab culture, though deeply rooted in islam, has nothing to do with islam..arab christians can be just as bad or worse..and only 18% of muslims are arab anyway..the biggest % of muslims are asian (in indonesia)..let’s just be proud of ourselves for who we are..or who we’ve become..or where we are from..or what we’ve accomplished..let’s be proud of whatever we want..the best thing you can do if you dont like something is to NOT be it and NOT do it..i wrote too much..bye!
and god forbid someone invites you to their house, then you dont invite them..or you dont bring candy to their kids..it kinda sucks that everyone cant just be cool and chilled out..either you have to go out of your way to have your guests unnecessarily praise you to everyone or you can act normal and then you’re rude and disgraceful but atleast it’s expected from us americans..after all we have no morals and more importantly, we’re not arab
well i agree with u on everything but through it all im still proud of my arab decent
stupid arguments!!
so arabs are racists and canadians are not!!
sally girl, your stupid arguments wont make them like more or less, .. half of them are racists, xenophobes and the other half don’t even care!! and so i do!
if u hate really arabs, stop thinking like one!! or at least be a good one!
A Muslim, Algerian, Arab, Berber, and proud
Hey what’s going on here… If you’re not an Arab, then comment with caution, I am an Arab, lived with an Arab family; I hate it! Parents are very backwards! Very racist, ignorant idiots!- Neglectful as f***! And on top of that EXTREMELY judge-mental and do not know how to care for their children! All this talk about Arabs needs to have backing! We HAD a great history! Not anymore, wake up! I come from the oldest civilization- Iraq..now I see bloodshed, religious fanatics and straight up stupidity! If we want to return to the good old days, then we need to get in touch with our TRUE heritage – Mesopotamia, Babylon, Ancient Egypt, REAL civilizations that contributed to the world! We MUST stop concerning ourselves with religion, politics and so on. They divide us!
i have a question…it seems here in america that arabs either stick with anyone christian or muslim or jordanian or iraqi..just so long as they’re arab because its scary/different to be in a place that you’re not from..or maybe in bigger cities where the chances are better of finding someone from your own country and sometimes even your own city – maybe jordanian stick with jordanians, syrians with syrians and so on…but in the arab world..is it really like that?? i mean..just because arab is arab doesnt mean that the people dont differ country to country..so what i’m getting at..does this type of racism or discrimination occur between mideast people when they are actually in the mideast..or like the generations of immigrants that have came to america..they only divide when they come here..well, they also unite when they come here but in a way that seems uncommon..i’ve heard christian arabs say back home more than likely they’d never associate with a muslim if they didnt have to, or they say “people from this area is like trash” but when they here they talk to these people, work with/for them and act like its all good..so..i’m just wondering..if anyone else has noticed this or has thoughts on it………..COMPLETELY RANDOM!
Totally agree wid whatcha saying girl. Holla from da UK. U should see dem Arabs here grrrr.. I just have to remind my self constantly that Arabs were never like this. I mean take the Arabs of al-andalus (Arabian spain) a long time ago, it was one of the world’s best civilizations! known for poetry,science, music, dancing, romance and most importantly tolerance. Arabic Jews,Christians and Muslims used to live in harmony along with non Arabs. Tell u what sweetness, just forget bout dem peeps. And be proud of ur heritage no matter what. It’s only natural to have bad cells in every society and community . Plus in all fairness, it’s the arabs from the gulf countries who are most embarrassing because of the stupid ideologies they’ve grew with.
Nana, i agree with you 100%. Mona, you should be ashamed of yourself for talking like this. I would sit here and type a 3 page letter of how much you disgust me due to the fact that your an arab but ashamed. Im half lebanese, my mom is american and i was born in Michigan,USA im 23 years old, i hate the fact that im half white! White people are ignorant. Maybe you hate that fact that your palestenian? Im way too angry to even keep going. You can read what nana said twice!
@Joe – thanks for your comment. This is such an old post for me to care about right now. Thanks for insulting the rest of the world. I don’t have to argue with you. Let others look at this and make a judgment of an Arab.