Pieces of the Past

I wanted to clean out my purse and get another one cause I was bored with the one I have. So I cleaned my old wallet also and removed any old receipts that I did not need anymore. As I was cleaning I found a picture of him. I found it and I sat there looking at it. I didn’t have any positive or negative thoughts in my head. Thirty seconds later I just started ripping it into many tiny pieces.

I held the pieces in my hand and just threw them in the garbage. I said to my self, “all pieces of trash should go into the garbage. That’s where they belong.”

I then thought all night and had hard time sleeping and thinking about my life. I really don’t have a direction in life. Nothing to look forward to and I seem to day by day loose interest even in the smallest things. I just stopped caring.

So I found my self today just engulfing high amounts of sugar. Sugar drinks and sweets. I feel sick, but at the same time I cannot stop. I feel too tense and nervous and I need sugar so I become more loose and up beat.

I don’t know. Maybe I am just thinking too much of the past and wishing I can go back to fix it. Or on the contrary, going back and not letting any of it to even happen. Like starting all over again.

Also I remembered when I first started this blog and I had so many religious attackers constantly preaching to me that the word rebellious is sinful and I am a horrible devilish person and I am spreading the wrong meaning of Islam. (Although I never talked about religion in my blog because it is completely irrelevant to what I write. Also I am not going to write about any religious things because it is not my place to do so). Then I look today at my blog stats and wondering where all these people who are linking to my site are from. To my surprise I am getting linked from other Islamic blogs. I just find it funny. How people changed and how things have change over a year and a half.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts