Anger leads to …
Here is the problem in my house hold, which caused my uncontrollable anger and disturbed thoughts. It may have caused this whole problem of me to begin with! Anger. When one person is pissed off at the other, then they take it out on someone else. In this case me. It’s a horrible domino effect. You have parents who continuously fight over the stupidest things which leads to no talking to each other. Then they pick a target to throw more of their anger on, in this case, me. It’s ridiculous. The problem is that it got to the point where I am getting disgusted by it. I no longer can stand living within these walls anymore.
At times I wish I was deaf or blind. This way I don’t have to see or hear anything anymore. I would be happy. Just living in silent darkness where nothing can bother me. I then wonder how long do I have to endure this childish behavior from adults. It’s becoming such a stupid occasional routine.
I mean this is Arabs.. the old Arabs that is. The ones who get mad and angry and just tend to ignore each other and put the kids in the middle of it. Our generation seems to just get a divorce instead. I know girls who got divorced the night after the wedding, or during the wedding party where the bride just leaves the hall. I am not saying that divorce is ok. Obviously it is not. That’s why you have to learn to communicate and marry someone not for their looks or money! Sadly, even love seems to be such a common word that is lost all meaning. It’s just the society we live in, this angry fast paced society where people can’t stand one another. It’s just sad. No compromises. Nothing. Just anger! I am so sick of it. I wish I was not an angry person and just be calm and uncaring. Kind of cold with no emotions. It’s the only way to live without a headache!
Loading ...
You’re absolutely right. That’s why you get so angry and have problems trusting people. This family dysfunction has effected your relationahips.
You’re parents could use some therapy. But it has to be up to them if they want to change for the better.
Why not move out. You make enough money to support yourself No?
Moving out may be a cultural/religious issue since she is of Arab descent. I know when I moved out I had a row with my mother, who is originally from Puerto Rico. When I joined the Army she had nightmares for months. Moms can be a very strong influence over their daughter’s independence.
I may be wrong about this situation…but I hope she finds peace. :flower: :tatty2.gif:
i wish i can move out.. that would be my dream!!
Maybe you can just sit and talk to your parents and explain to them that you want to own your own home, have equity, build upon your financial portfolio. Tell them this is an investment into your future. Trust me, I would love to own a home. Here in the USA we have the American Dream program for minorities and I am looking into that.
If you have some money saved up you can put down a hefty downpayment and that can lower your mortgage costs. Down the road if you wish to sell it you will most certainly gain a great financial profit. Your independence is priceless. Always respect the parents but they in turn should also try and respect the dreams that you have for yourself.
since you guys are not Arabs you think things are that easy.. oh well.. thanks for the advice though!
I am fine now.
I think u’ll reach certain point of anger after which u want be giving a shit anymore.u r sooo pissed off dear I was giggling while reading ur post, sorry :mrgreen: . Guess what it is the same here and almost everywhere.
calm down
oops u already did :yaay:
I was confused when you posted Mona.. lool I was like how am I posting so many times.. lool thanks!
Mona: Why can’t you move out?
Actually I was with an Arab from 1998 and we, or rather I ended things last year because his family (Omani) refused to accept me for who I was. I never was around Arab women so I decided to ck out the blogs of such women and learn from you guys and see how you all deal with certain issues. I know, (only from observation and reading) that is really difficult to break out of the grasp of parents, the family etc–their expectations. There are some striking similarities between the Arab culture and my Hispanic one which I found interesting…..I wish you the best. :tatty2.gif:
Marianna: I’m Hispanic too but my parents and other extended family members are not the “possessive” type. But there are Many who are of course. Parents who are like this are being needy not loving. They’re trying to get the love they never got as kids by clinging to them. Very bad for the kids.
arab girls don’t live alone when they have parents! It’s sacrilegious!
NO IT’S NOT!!!
You’re not a girl You’re a 26 year old WOMAN!
You’re parents are not letting you grow up. They’re being selfish. And it’s had a bad effect on you.
That’s the issue.
God Jason.. get a grip… lool I don’t know what you are trying to do.. but you have to understand different cultures and different beliefs before you blow up like this..
Sorry. But I’m not “blowing up” at all. Just excited.
Yes I understand Arab belief systems and cultural traits which your parents buy into and want you to follow. And yes I understand if you rock the boat it will make them angry etc. That’s fine if that’s all there is to it. But there’s much more to it than that no? For instance:
You’re not happy living with the constant bickering and criticisms. But you don’t want to leave because it’s sacriligious and parents won’t like it. That’s not YOUR problem though that’s THEIRS and other judgemental Arabs. If you stay they’ll be happy and you will suffer. That’s what I’m trying to say. It’s hurting you and nobody else. You can’t live other people’s lives, you have to live your life. IF you want to be happy anyway.
It is a matter of just understanding the Arab culture. Where my ex is from it is forbidden for an unmarried Omani girl to live on her own. I know that Mona lives in the West however, her parents have Middle East traditions and culture mores that play a huge part of how they have raised their children. Sometimes it is hard for those of use who are not used to this to pass quick judgement but trust me is not simple.
don’t have to be an arab. move out. bad situations of any kind are usually difficult to deal with, even when the answers are simple, like this one is.
preserve your sanity/health = bad? i don’t think so..
if you think you will miss them terribly even if you visit frequently then i wouldn’t move.. or if you have no friends and move into an apartment by yourself like me.. also might not be a good idea unless you’re into being alone.
guys guys.. get over it.. I am over it.. I am no longer upset.. you guys making way too big of a deal.. more than I was when I wrote this post!!
but then i guess i’m kind of a sinner influence.. always doing the wrong things..
on second thought, just use your best judgement and ignore me.
glad you feel better, that’s the whole point of talking it over right? :yaay:
i don’t want to appear as a person who ignores things.. I just think you guys made way big deal about the way I am and the life that I live. You are not accepting culture and trying to see things from a one sided north American view point. It doesn’t work that way if you are an Arab. No matter where you live in this world.
Mona: we’re just trying to help. You say you have no one to talk to about your problems. Well here we are.