Comments on: Anger leads to …

By: D

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 09:11:35 +0000

I had the same issue with my family. I noticed instead of expressing how they really felt. They acted childish by name calling or bottled up their anger only to unfairly release it at another time. One thing that has helped me a lot was not imitating their behavior, and having the courage to be the one to actually express my feelings. I would say something like “I don’t appreciate the way you are talking to me, and I am not going to put up with it.” and I would say it strongly but calmly, instead of resorting to name calling or anger, and it’s helped a lot. It’s an unhealthy environment living with people who can’t communicate with each other well, but if at least one person communicates effectively then the situation isn’t as bad as it could be. But that’s just my 2 cents.

By: Jason

Jason — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 15:43:26 +0000

Mona: we’re just trying to help. You say you have no one to talk to about your problems. Well here we are.

By: Mona

Mona — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 02:49:28 +0000

i don’t want to appear as a person who ignores things.. I just think you guys made way big deal about the way I am and the life that I live. You are not accepting culture and trying to see things from a one sided north American view point. It doesn’t work that way if you are an Arab. No matter where you live in this world.

By: owen

owen — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 02:48:41 +0000

glad you feel better, that’s the whole point of talking it over right? :yaay:

By: owen

owen — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 02:47:25 +0000

but then i guess i’m kind of a sinner influence.. always doing the wrong things.. on second thought, just use your best judgement and ignore me.

By: Mona

Mona — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 02:44:03 +0000

guys guys.. get over it.. I am over it.. I am no longer upset.. you guys making way too big of a deal.. more than I was when I wrote this post!!

By: owen

owen — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 02:40:13 +0000

don’t have to be an arab. move out. bad situations of any kind are usually difficult to deal with, even when the answers are simple, like this one is.

preserve your sanity/health = bad? i don’t think so..

if you think you will miss them terribly even if you visit frequently then i wouldn’t move.. or if you have no friends and move into an apartment by yourself like me.. also might not be a good idea unless you’re into being alone.

By: marianna

marianna — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 12:03:05 +0000

It is a matter of just understanding the Arab culture. Where my ex is from it is forbidden for an unmarried Omani girl to live on her own. I know that Mona lives in the West however, her parents have Middle East traditions and culture mores that play a huge part of how they have raised their children. Sometimes it is hard for those of use who are not used to this to pass quick judgement but trust me is not simple.

By: Jason

Jason — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 02:03:23 +0000

Sorry. But I’m not “blowing up” at all. Just excited.

Yes I understand Arab belief systems and cultural traits which your parents buy into and want you to follow. And yes I understand if you rock the boat it will make them angry etc. That’s fine if that’s all there is to it. But there’s much more to it than that no? For instance:

You’re not happy living with the constant bickering and criticisms. But you don’t want to leave because it’s sacriligious and parents won’t like it. That’s not YOUR problem though that’s THEIRS and other judgemental Arabs. If you stay they’ll be happy and you will suffer. That’s what I’m trying to say. It’s hurting you and nobody else. You can’t live other people’s lives, you have to live your life. IF you want to be happy anyway.

By: Mona

Mona — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 01:30:11 +0000

God Jason.. get a grip… lool I don’t know what you are trying to do.. but you have to understand different cultures and different beliefs before you blow up like this..