The Letter

My dearest,

For several months now, I have contemplated whether to write you this letter. As days passed, all I could think of is the time I longed to be with you. To be within your arms smiling at your moonlit face and wondering how long this will last. How long I have to wait for the day when I will be with you forever. I kept waiting, days passed, years passed, and nothing.

I remembered that love is forbidden in our lives. To love is but a sin committed by two souls. To love someone is to deeply devote your soul to something that cannot be seen or touched. This I cannot endure. As my heart cannot fathom to betray my roots. To betray my self. To betray my mere existence. However, as weak as I am, I am only but human. The sins committed by out heart’s desire we cannot stop. It couldn’t stop, it wouldn’t stop, and doesn’t want to stop.

Time has passed, and the heart played the role of controlling our lives. Some of us like I mentioned are weak. We are weak. I am weak. I know you were not able to feel what I have felt. You were not able to endure the agony that my heart desired. You could not understand what love is. Maybe I didn’t either. Maybe none of us do.

What is love you may ask me? I do not know. It is nothing that can be touched or seen, but only a sin that we are living. I tried to remove such feelings from my heart’s desire, but what can I do? I am only human.

Life passed before my eyes. What am I to do? Who am I to turn to now? I live a life torn between two worlds. Life that I cannot fathom to speak of, and life that I can only dream of. I tried with all my heart’s desire to forget you. To love no more. What is love? Really? Was I that foolish to believe and put faith in something that cannot be touched or seen? To put all my faith in something that tears my heart in two? Why am I foolish? Was the sin committed that horrible that made me so blind to see the truth. The truth that we are merely puppets to this invisible feeling. This feeling that controls us to the point where life of insanity is better than life lead by love?

Why should I still love you? Why should you still love me? What has love done to us? It has just torn us apart.

It made us miserable human beings. It is better if we never love at all. It is better if we didn’t have to let our hearts lead the way because it is blind. It cannot see what we see. It cannot tell what is right and what is wrong. Feelings cannot control us and tell us where to go. It can only take us to a direction that thinks will lead to a result. A path that leads to harmony and bliss. How can something so blind tell the way?

I am sorry my dearest that our hearts grew apart. Our life was blind and lead by blindness. Forgive me not of what I have said, but only think of the truth behind our hearts. If there is any truth, let it lead the way, and not let any blindness and melancholy trap us to a never ending trail of agony. Let us be free of this life controlled by blindness. Let us see what we can touch. Let us feel what we see. Just let the truth guide us and let’s be free of each other. Forever is better than never.

Good by my love. I was cured from my blindness that you have never endured. Sorry I was weak, and you were cruel.

- Mona

Random Thoughts