Or maybe not. Lately, at work I have not been doing anything. I haven’t for a while, and hearing last Friday’s news that all of us will no longer have jobs early next year is really sad. About 600 - 800 people. 
At times I think that maybe it is good to end things. To look forward for a change. I knew working for universities and grant funded organizations will not last forever. I do like a job that I love to last forever, wouldn’t we all? So, the enthusiasm at work has been really low. I never seen this many people depressed in my life. I look and wonder, wow, this is how depressed people look like. Wow.
Once you had that feeling, and seeing someone else having that feeling, it makes you wonder why life really sucks. I am not sad because of my situation. I rather be off work, I have an excuse for a nice little 2 or 3 months vacation. I just feel really sad for other people. At the same time, I will not miss the salary. I could care less about money at the moment. I will in a year or two, but not anytime soon. I planned and planned for all this. I promised my self that I will never ever be broke ever in my life. I saw what it did to other people, and I never plan to ever be in that situation again. One thing I am good at is planning for the worse case scenario.
So what is my best case scenario. No clue. I guess I want to be a millionaire and retire by 35! Don’t we all? 
I guess my dream is to be a manager and lead people to contribute something positive to our world. I guess I like the satisfaction in helping others. I like it. I got used to it and I think it is a good life objective to have. I guess I am more humanitarian in my way of leading my life. I like helping others to get them to do something great!
Wow, I am being dorky today.
Aah… I guess I was thinking about this for a while of what I would really miss about my work for the past 5.5 years. Jeez. I don’t know where to begin. When you spend the age of 21- almost 27 in one place at the prime of your young adulthood you would remember so much fun times. I guess once you realize that you have to move on to bigger and better things, then you finally know that it is time to grow up and do something big and exciting in your life.
I like being young, and enjoying my 20’s. I enjoy it more with other fun people as well.
The past 3 days had made me feel closer to people at my work. Is it because we all share the same feelings now? A feeling of depression, denial, and realizing how life sucks. At this rate, I will not have to go to a psychologist anymore. I seem to be experiencing the same feelings as most of the people I know. Oh Lord! I am seriously living in denial.
I hope really for the best. I do pray to keep this job, although it drove me nuts most of the time, and things will hopefully change and we can stay to do better and greater things. I have plans, and I want the drive again to do something about it. Right now, I am at an all time low. No motivation. No caring about anything. I am just so mellow and light headed all the time. I don’t even eat out and I want to have a chicken burger and sushi so bad! **drooling for Crispy Salmon Sushi** All I buy is coffee. Boring! I am just getting food from home and barely eating once I get home. I am saving the money to start my business. The food I eat out = the money I could spend starting a small business.
I am just at an all time depression mood. Facing the reality of my current situation is really hard. Very hard. All my life I felt rejection and unloved, and now, soon, no job! Maybe it is a sign that I need to change my life completely. All that complaining I have been doing is nothing really. Reality is what I have to really complain about.
Reality SUCKS!
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My name is Mona and I am an internet savvy and technology obsessed girl. I am originally Palestinian and I live in the province of Ontario in Canada. That's some info about me, and you can learn more [
love the new design of the site…when I think this site with the content... 
ps - Be the change you... 
Wednesday, November 7th 2007 at 9:55 pm
I don’t think this is going to make you feel any better but I think the U.S. economy is headed for a recession next year and of course Canada will be taken along for the ride. I have been following the financial markets a bit and it looks scary. :shock: I think the sooner you find another job the better before the economy takes a down turn.
Wednesday, November 7th 2007 at 9:57 pm
wow.. do I have to live through the great depression number 2 in my life time?
So sad.. 
Wednesday, November 7th 2007 at 9:58 pm
Preferably in a recession proof industry.
Wednesday, November 7th 2007 at 10:00 pm
You could try teaching at a college. I think you would make a great teacher.
Wednesday, November 7th 2007 at 10:04 pm
oh no.. I like teaching, but I don’t want to. I do it at work at the moment. I train students and help them out. That’s my other part of the job.. :S I Teach them about web design and programming web application.
I will make a bad real teacher for 2 reasons:
1. I am impatient and I just want to give out the answers.
2. I can never fail anyone or give any mark below 90%. lool
I like making people happy!
Wednesday, November 7th 2007 at 11:50 pm
Again, go have a spa day!
Thursday, November 8th 2007 at 1:31 am
Spa sounds great… I am feeling that at work, in fact I wanted to post something about work bas I slept! Thank you :P
Thursday, November 8th 2007 at 8:18 am
You give out the answers and give nothing below 90%! Your my kind of teacher! :razz:
Thursday, November 8th 2007 at 2:54 pm
Be nice to Reality for she has been taking very good care of You; is taking very good care, and will continue to do so. Reality is very dependable. Learn to trust in her care for you. It’s the way to go high ‘n low!
Thursday, November 8th 2007 at 2:57 pm
Sorry ~ error in website address in previous post. A realty of Reality …
Thursday, November 8th 2007 at 3:25 pm
thanks Richard for your thoughts.
I am surprised though that you gender specify Reality to being a female. Why is that?
Friday, November 9th 2007 at 10:03 am
Theres nothing wrong with being a little impatient….I think you are able to convey ideas and concepts, which the most important thing a teacher can do. I had so many teachers that just had you memorize everything without actually LEARNING it…that it was just such a waste..
Friday, November 9th 2007 at 11:25 am
Just curious but does Canada have an unemployment insurance program for people laid off? I know it won’t be the same as the salary some people make but might help them out. Here in the states people can receive unemployment checks and even foodstamps when laid off like that. And it is wonderful to plan ahead and stock money aside for situations like this one. Good thinking.
Friday, November 9th 2007 at 11:40 am
yep.. there is unemployment EI with a maximum of 1700 a month! That is not even half my salary.. so screw it!
Friday, November 9th 2007 at 3:14 pm
Rebellious, I feel Reality to be caring, truthful, beautiful, sensual, joyful, playful… All that is forever good Reality is. And with my birthright do I like to refer to Reality as She. She is caring of me, truthful to me, beautiful about me, sensual with me, and always and everywhere with me playful. Now human behaviour and society? Well, that is another story. If I were to go a little further, I might say Realty; She shows me how to be in society, and in my own company. Somebody else may think of Reality being male or otherwise, but I suspect the vast majority never think of Reality being anything other than an abstraction. And I would ask why?
Friday, November 9th 2007 at 8:13 pm
Very interesting perspective Richard of Eire. Very interesting. However, I don’t know how to answer your question.
hehe… but with your justification, I think I agree that reality is a SHE! 
Friday, November 9th 2007 at 10:42 pm
[...] actually mentioned the idea that I am a good teacher a couple of days ago in my comments in my post about work. It’s funny how you guys can actually analyze my writing and behaviour and come up with such [...]
Saturday, November 10th 2007 at 2:45 pm
You’re welcome Rebellious. The question “And I would ask why?” implies, why do I have to think (every day) the same way as everybody else does about weather, seasons, life, tradition, culture, education, literature, philosophy, art, music, poetry, technology, business, work, past, present, future etc… Why do I have to think the same way as everybody else about reality? I don’t have to or even need to. I like to think things out for myself, and give an interpretation that seems profound, interesting, and beautiful to my own mind, even for a morning, an afternoon, an evening or a night. How lovely it is to make choices anew! Wouldn’t you agree?
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