I’m mentaly tired
I have never felt so depressed in my life. I am just tired of my life. So bored. I go to work, and there is nothing to do. I spend my time looking for other jobs out there where someone can give me something to do. I just feel useless and no one wants me to do any work for them. So I left work around 2:00 pm. I just felt if I sat there anymore I would explode.
I don’t know how my co-workers get by every day. They either play games or browse the net or whatever. They don’t care. I can’t stand being in this situation where I don’t know if I will have work or not in a month. I can’t even stand not working now and getting paid to do nothing. There are no expectations at all from me. 
No body wants me.
I think there needs to be a new method in applying to work. A personality test that will determine if you actually like what you are doing and if you are willing to work. I want to work. I don’t want to be a useless human being. I got a University education for a reason and put up with a lot of crap at work for over 5 years. I know how to work with people even though most of them piss me off!
Now I feel that I all I have done and worked so hard for all these years is gone down the drain.
I am not even looking forward to my interview next week. They probably have someone else in mind and conducting interviews with potential candidates for legal human resource reasons. For a record! Stupid records! Why waste our time? Why bring our hopes up and make us suck up during interviews?
I hate someone giving me hope. I like pure factual things infront of me. Is or is not going to happen and reasons why. God, I am such a noratic person. I used to be such a day dreamer, but now, I am too realistic! I hate it! I hate being a realist. I was always an idealist.
Why did I change so much?
I used to be this quiet nice person who didn’t need much or want much from life. However, I grew up! I want more because I deserve more! I deserve too many things because I have the drive to want it.
Why do I keep blogging about everything that is on my mind? It’s like I have this audience and they are expecting some daily news from me. My life sucks! What’s so interesting about it? My blog has turned to any other blog. A diary of thoughts. My blog was a place where I can rebel from life. Am I rebelling or just purely complaining about reality? I want to be in control! I lost control. Now I am just useless and no one wants me. Meh!
Loading ...
Not to act like your parents but:
*) Private companies need you to be there. Even if you do nothing at the moment, you still have to be there.
You need somehow a good living conditions for that.
*) Yes it’s not completely work for 8 hours. No employee can fill your time for 8 hours and if they do, you won’t take the load.
*) Part of any job is R&D, spend some time researching new thinmgs. Learn new things or new technologies.
*) As an extension for the above: Get your own personal projects to the office. You will end up learning more and doing a few things
*) HR do not always have someone in mind. I don’t think that Nokia had someone in mind when they brought me from Egypt to Finland
*) Life is crappy ? I’m still doing the same mistake over and over again. Do NOT EVER make your internal happiness or peace dependant on someone. People love appreciation but there’s hardly anyone these days to say this
*) Ever thought about changing careers ?
Finally, do you know anyone in Helsinki cause I’m searching for good people here ?
I like my career choice. I am just looking for a better opportunity and someone to always challenge me. It motivates me to do more work. I am cursed to be a Capricorn. If I don’t work, I will go crazy!
I am in Canada, not Finland!
Start your own business.
I completely understand you but still. You skipped the first few points.
Anyway, I know you are from Canada. I thought you might know people here just as I know 2 or 3 persone from Canada.
Good luck girl
If it makes you feel any better, it takes most people at least a few job interviews before they get a decent offer of employment. As for having control over your life, nobody has complete control over his or her life. There are things in life that are beyond your control and you should just accept that fact. All you can do is control your own actions. That job offer will come in due course. Just have patience and try not to be too bummed out over employment rejections. Everybody has been there, done that, and got the T-shirt. You are not alone. Have you told your family about your employment situation? If you haven’t I think you should. They are probably wondering why you seem so down.
The key to acing your next interview is to stay in a positive frame of mind. As soon as you start thinking negative thoughts, the jig is up. Employers sense this stuff. Don’t let this past interview throw you off your game. Go into that next interview with that attitude that I am winner, I am great and you don’t know what you are missing if you don’t hire me. Inflate that ego girl! :mrgreen:
I don’t feel down anymore. I was.. once I get home.. I am just mellow and relaxed. I don’t care. At home I feel good and relaxed. It’s the day time stress that gets to me.
Hmmm Sapphire is bang-on with her advice… very nice :mrgreen:
oh..the last couple of paragraphs were scary Miss Mona..you were describing me….the daydreaming idealist…turned into the jaded realist. I hope you dont ever get as hopeless as me…it SUCKS! :lol: and nope im not a Capricorn… in fact my B-day is Monday..woo hoo…im just totally apathetic about it…
I would have to say that anyone who reads this blog needs you. it would be very different if we were all your friends. And knew who you were, At least I dont. If you were standing next to biggie and tupac (which is CA-PUT spelled backwards) I still wouldnt be able to pick you out. we all need to be able to vent. Which to me a blog is the perfect way to do it. SO vent on!