That is the slogan to my site by the way. I never changed it, but it is probably not showing up in the title… aah who cares! I guess me being twenty-six has really proven to me that life really sucks. It sucks so bad, that I don’t want to give up. I really don’t. I find winter months always gloomy and sad.

I hate winter now. I really do. Actually, it is technically fall, but the temperatures are below zero in the morning, so it is winter to me!

So what am I going to do with my life. No clue. I need to start planning and thinking positively. No more crazy thoughts! Time to take some steps and be serious. I am supposed to be a serious person. The past few weeks I drove my self and everyone else crazy!

Need a plan for November and December. I will write one out tomorrow..

Maybe I will try to sleep tonight. However, I decided to be dumb and hide my sleeping pills at work, so I won’t take any! Arghh my stupid brain! So stubborn!

I need something to cheer me up. I want to be a baby again and laugh about the smallest silliest thing!

Angry, Random Thoughts, Whatever!

Good things always come to an end.. They say always give the bad news on a Friday afternoon to their employees. To me it wasn’t bad, but something I was expecting for many years. I guess I will have to officially see how things will turn out and life will always be good if we think positively. Nothing to be sad about. This is life. Road bumps always scare us and make us unhappy, but we always have to look to the future and always think positively. That was my problem, I didn’t think positively and I prepared for everything.

I prepared for it from day one. From the day I wasn’t granted any benefits and I knew it was a temporary thing. The day I wasn’t treated equally although I was more educated and I had the drive to do more work than anyone. I refused to buy a car because why should I burden my self with something that I don’t know if I can afford in a year or two.

I was honestly prepared and I wasn’t shocked. I am not unhappy nor happy. I learned to take advantage of the situation and I took more classes and only worked 75% of the time of my official contract. I, however, still put put 100% into my work time and I worked day and night to satisfy my self.

Lately, however, I haven’t been doing any work at all. My heart was telling me to pause. To stop and wait. I needed a brake and just wait. I never took a vacation that cleared my mind for all these years that I worked.. and I was just slouching around at work to wait and see what will happen, cause everything was messed up and I was just watching to see the results.

I wasn’t going to stick around at all. It was a mistake from 3 years ago. A burden from the past. I was going to quit the moment that HE left. He left cause of me and I had a resignation letter and everything ready. I only stuck around because I liked my boss and he gave me an opportunity to do so. I really didn’t like anyone else and I absolutely did not care about anyone or anything. Half the time I didn’t agree with what my boss did or his final decisions, and ended up just fighting with him, but I treated him like someone in my family, like my brother. We fight, makeup, fight again, I sometimes don’t agree with what he decides, but in the end, it is all good and we just have to love each other cause life’s too short and only fun with all the obstacles. We can’t be happy all the time, where is the fun in that?

My heart wasn’t into this job at all, but when you look up to someone and respect them then you put up with everything you hate and you just wait and wait to see what the final outcome is.

So I think I am prepared now to officially find another job. I am not too keen about getting accepted to masters in business. I did it for fun and see if I will get in. I hate the idea of Masters in Computer Science, and I decided I will no longer take anymore courses next term and end all this continuous learning. I will just do what I was meant to do 3 years ago. Find something else! Good thing I saved over 20,000 dollars and the rest in stocks and bonds, and I still lived comfortably with paying all my loans on time. I am thankful and happy and was always smart about it.

I am sorry to the specific people who are going to read this but you will find out on Monday. Might as well hear it from me because I cannot keep anything in my heart and I have to write it down or I will seriously explode. That was the cause of my depression and sickness. So, I am just a special person who gets the news quicker because why not, I don’t like surprises and not knowing. Sorry boss.. sorry everyone else who knows me.. I just got off the phone with my best friend and I told her everything. I will not tell my parents till December when I get a new short term contract and just face reality. This is life. Good things always come to an end and life goes on.

But I am not going to be pessimistic about this, and I believe in miracles and good things will always happen if we put out hearts to it..

Who knows, maybe in the middle of this month things will change and everything will be back to normal like it was meant to be!

Oh well, if not, in a few months I will bring Squibby home and give it to my sister cause she was pissed that her goldfish died. Hehe.. other than that.. I will no longer be picky about jobs or complain.. I will take it seriously and start applying for real work starting January! Wohoo. It’s about time that I do something different in my life! It’s always good. Everything will always end up being good in the end!

Yah.. this website is really my official diary and only place to actually read and know what I am thinking. I don’t talk or express my self in real life because …. well.. I don’t want to. I made this blog for a reason, and it is to express my self truthfully.

Oh well… It was a great run, time to move on to new and better things.. The job market for technology is awesome and this is life..

Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Squibby, They said what?

Lately all I have been doing is listening to the radio morning and afternoon. I love having my cell phone (Sony Ericcsson w300i). It’s a cool phone with mp3 playback, 256 meg card, and radio! I love the radio feature.. Keeps me up to date with morning news of my city. Anyways, so I listen to lots of songs in the morning and so far I got a few new favorites. Did I mention that I feel good today!

Awesome new songs by Rihanna and Jennifer Lopez. Love their style of music!

Also I forgot to mention yesterday, that there is a new Guild Episode (4). Amazingly funny!

Funny, My taste of Music

I just read this amazing article by Simply Me that was so truthful. It enlightened me a bit too cause I had a lousy two or three weeks. Honestly, I don’t care what anyone of you writes or comments really. No offense, but I don’t care about what you say. This is my blog, you can’t really do anything to harm me. I legally own all the copyrighted material on my blog and I can do whatever I like with it. That includes comment moderation and the comments you leave on my blog. It is my right no? It’s every bloggers right. We have legal rights you know. So, you can do what you like. You can fight, criticize, make fun, do whatever you like. In the end, I will keep writing, and I will have a place to always write my thoughts down. People who know me in person are the only true readers of my blog and the only people worth having a discussion with and I should give respect to.

I maybe emotional, a bit sensitive, irrational at times, but as you have been reading the past week; I haven’t really been my self lately. I have been physically sick and always tired, but that’s ok; physical ailments won’t stop me from writing. My blog I made it for my enjoyment, my diary, and my journal. You should be thanking me for giving you the opportunity to read it and allowing you to comment. I could easily remove the commenting option. I can easily remove many features of my site that allows interactions, but I wanted to have open ended intelligent discussions with people. However, there are more stupid people out there than smart ones. It is sad, but this is how it is. This is the reality of the biggest global village in the history of man kind.

Like Forrest Gump said in the movie, “Stupid is, is stupid does.”

Other than that, I don’t really talk to other bloggers, I got a couple on msn that I seldom talk to, and I never plan to ever see or meet one, and I could care less anymore what anyone says, does, or steals from me. In the end, I am confident enough to know my self, and you are merely a screen name to me, and I am as well to you. The more you steal from me and use and abuse my copyrighted material and name, the more money I will gain from suing you.

In the end, it’s all about money. That’s the first and last lesson you will learn about the business world. I love living in 2007 and I am so glad to be part of generation X!

Love blogging, but hate the selfish and hateful people out there that have no life.

I feel good now, but can’t sleep. Who ever suggested that I should stop taking sleeping pills was so silly. Oh wait, that was me!

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, They said what?