And the drama begins…
Is it me or I end up being friends with people that are so dramatic that my drama and complaints about life are nothing compared to other people.
This is my day:
8:05 am
I got to work.
8:10 am
Phone call from my friend. Ignore her for a bit till I got my coffee.
I called her to see what’s up around 8:20 am. She was telling me about the guy she met off Arablounge that came to see her this weekend. She was happy and excited and at the same time a bit sad that he left this morning. Simple, 10 min conversation.
9:45 am
She calls again.
She is bored and doesn’t have much to do and she feels awkward and sad that he left and doesn’t really know what is gonna happen.. and they talked about marriage and stuff and their parents.
I argued with her, “Why the hell you talk about marriage with a guy you just met?”
She said, “I want to get married and I am sick of trying find the perfect guy and just dating. That’s my mistake. No one took me seriously because I never discussed it.”
I said, “you think discussing it right away is gonna make a difference? A guy can tell you he wants to marry you a million times but doesn’t mean he will! Look at me for example. The ass hole ex said he wanted to marry me 10 million times and I kept saying no because it was an iffy relationship and half the time we spent it fighting and then he wanted to make up and think things will get better. That didn’t work did it! I told him off and that’s how it ended cause I got sick of him making me feel guilty or sad towards him. So stop being a fool. I was but I ended it because I got sick of it. What happened to me? I became insane and depressed. You want to end up worse than me? Go ahead.”
So we continually argued back and forth. I was skeptical from the beginning and when I saw that he was talking and giving out his contact info and his phone numbers to other girls on Arablounge, then I knew this was a joke.
10:45 am
I called her back to see what she is doing and not feeling all depressed. Yet, she was. So I wanted to be a good positive person and reassured her that things will be ok if she was patient and takes things slowly.
12:30 pm
She called me weeping and telling me, “oh my god, he is back on Arablouge after he removed his account. Why did he do that? He doesn’t want me. No guy wants me. I will never get married. Blah blah blah………”
At this point I got tired of talking to her and told her I got to go.
1:45 pm
She calls me back saying, “please Mona. Can you see his profile and if he is online.”
So I did and I told her, he is visible, but not online.
She said, “I called him and he said he was busy, blah blah.”
2:30 pm
She calls me again and tells me to see his profile and I told her he hid it now.
This is when I got pissed and just wanted to khalas, to stop talking to her about this.
3:45 pm
She calls me again and talks to me about her feelings and how guys don’t like her and why bad things happen to her and no one takes her seriously.
I get home around 4:20 pm, and I go online and then I told her, “stop acting like this. You are creating drama for this guy. I asked you before did you fall for him and I know you did or you wouldn’t be so dramatic about it. Get over it. I can’t believe you fall for guys that easily and want to get married this way. Stop the drama! ”
It is 5:30 pm now and she is trying to contact him and see why he had not replied to her yet and she is probably crying and sad now.
I always knew me and her had a lot in common, but the drama is driving me insane. Her fear that he will tell her that he is not interested anymore and she would be rejected again. So I told her, “Why the hell you are bitchy and mean, and when it gets to guys you are so mushy and gullible? Stop it. It makes me sick. Be mean and be your self. You take charge and don’t let any guy play with your feelings. You will never get married this way and I don’t understand why you are so desperate to get married. You hit 26 years old and it hit your brain too. It is making you feel old and unwanted. You are nutz and I am older than you and I don’t act this way. So end it now and stop it!”
Guess what? She won’t listen to me until she is completely heart broken and feeling like shit, and I have to be a witness and her psycologist for the next few weeks.
Honestly.. why do people want me to help them? I am too realistic and I tell people the truth and to shut up. They don’t listen.
I am happy being alone and not having to suffer from such daily drama. I can convince my self that I am not pretty and not well liked than have to go through a dramatic life again. I don’t want to love or fall for any guy ever if I only end up fighting and him acting like a show off ass all the time! My lord I am so happy to be alone and focusing on my life and what I want then having to deal with some dumb ass that plays with my feelings.
What makes me sad and the reason I am writing all this because it breaks my heart that my best friend is putting her self through it. It just makes me mad! I have to resort to chocolate, coffee, and various types of caffeinated drinks just to deal with this situation. I feel like I am the one going through this, and not her!
Loading ...
1)This is the most important — HOW DOES HE TREAT HIS MOTHER?? If he yells and complains to his mom and takes her for granted, baby he’s going to treat you the same way when the honeymoon is over. If he is kind, loving and helpful to his mother then girl you have a keeper (but BE CAREFUL you don’t want a mamas boy either; he’s to be your man, not hers) **WARNING THERE IS A BITCH MOTHER CLAUSE** if his mom is a genuine bitch ignore this rule
2)DOES HE RECIPOCATE SEXUALLY… like does he do unto you as he likes being done if ya now what I mean… hmmm now for a islamic suitable test for this…. how about does he give good back rubs or back scratch with keen effort well keeping his hands and intentions in check. **ATTENTION** HORNEY DUDE CLAUSE you can’t hate a brother for trying to cop a feel :mrgreen: :mrgreen: maybe it was a mistake
3)Do you like his music? NOT CAN I TOLERATE HIS MUSIC NO!!!!! you must like it, you must like it. This is to be written in stone. If you hate his music forget about him even if he is hot and rich ’cause if you hate his music once the erotism has left the relationship and it will. You chicks become homicidal bitches who ruin a dudes music collection in fit of wrathful rage
You must be the voice of reason for your crazy friend ’cause that’s what true friends do… she must go through three steps/questions before she exercises any more marriage thoughts… you may need keep your cool for her sake but crazy friends are worth keeping they make life more interesting GOD BLESS AND GOOD LUCK
oh..that friend of yours..did she read my message a few days ago? If she’s reading this one too..let her know that even if she looks like nicole kidman,with this kind of obsessive behavior and immature teenage attitude..if I were that dude I’d be in mexico right now trying to get as far away from her as possible..get a grip on urself woman!
and mona..u come off as a really realistic strong woman..maybe too strong.
I am trying a new approach on life and to be realistic. I usually don’t say anything or bother with anyone and keep my distance and opinions to my self, but in this situation I got tired of it and I can’t stand seeing anyone get hurt.. especially my only friend..
She doesn’t read my blog anymore. She doesn’t need to. I tell her everything. Although she met me from this blog, she doesn’t need to know anymore or read anymore that she already knows.
Mona your friend sounds very needy, clingy and desperate and that would be enough to scare off any potential boyfriend. She will never get a boyfriend with that attitude never mind get a marriage proposal! She needs to focus on other things in her life right now and discover who she is as a person then come back to dating with more self-confidence and independence. Women with one tracks minds who obsess about getting married are the last ones to ever get married if at all. Guys don’t like women with secret agendas and they certainly don’t like being pressured into relationships. There is nothing more unattractive than a woman throwing herself at a man.
Firstly your friend should not meet random guys off the Internet. Its different if they’ve spoken for some time and got to know each other, and even then it should be avoided.
Secondly, she will get married but acting desperate and accepting the first guy that comes along will cause her to make a mistake and accept the wrong guy, which could cause a lifetime of hassle for her.
Thirdly, she is your friend but you can only tell her. If she wont listen then theres not much else you can do apart from be a friend and be there for her, advise her how you can.
Fourthly, you never know, he may turn out to be a good guy, they get married and live happily every after. insh’Allah.
Fifthly, as her friend you should try to encourage that any meetings she has with guys has a third party present to keep her safe and so that she makes the right decision. Insh’Allah she’ll find the right person when the time is right, as we all will (i hope).
With all due respect to whatever has been said about your friend and her situation, we need to be more understanding and sympathetic, to the role our culture, environment and maybe our family have on “Who” we are as individuals.. needy or not! Arab culture has specific “gender” stereotypes and roles for females in particular, I mean look at the fact that we as Arab females are considered the honour/sharaf of our family, hence the “no no premarital sex” bit… and how Arab guys can easily go and get some “experience” (though religously unacceptable, it CULTURALLY is!)…
Arab culture ‘expect’ females to get married as soon as they can! Parents are constantly on our back about finding the right guy (education, family) etc, and when will we have kids blah blah blah.. so your friend, ya 3azizti, is merely reflecting, what she has been expected to do!
Now I am not saying she may have some other emotional issues, but let’s not be too hard on her. She probably lacks a lot of self esteem and confidence, due to the above reasons, and maybe… a failed experience..
Hope she is doing well though!
Love,
Kiwi
Thanks Kiwi for your input and you are completely right.
Anyways.. she is fine now and she will learn to get over it and find someone a lot better in the future inshallah..
and p.s. I met my current husband on ArabLounge, so meeting someone online, though not ideal, has become the new “and sometimes only” way that some people are able to meet. Mind you, you also need to have a sensible head on your shoulders to be able to filter the odd people. But I don’t think online-meeting, is entirely wrong
Oh good for you.. I am happy for you. I wish everyone can be happy and be able to filter out the bozos..
Oh well.. for me.. I am staying single and cool until I decide to settle with Mr. Right!