You know that it is wrong… but…
One thing about humans is the fact that they have an uncontrollable emotional behavior towards one another. The one thing that strikes me the most about cultures and religions is the fact that emotional behavior between two people are often not meant to be. It is exactly why Shakespeare wrote the play Romeo and Juliet. It was not just a romance story between two lovers to the death. If it was that, then really, there are thousands of stories like that. So it is not that big of a deal. It is the class system, the difference between two people’s families that made this hard for two people. Everyone knows that and that’s why this play is famous because that’s exactly what it portrays. It portrays the uncontrollable hardships between two people all over the world and the ways they can hide their love. If they display it, then they will loose one another. So what happens when two people cannot have one another?
This is a problem I have witnessed many people go through, and even my self.
What happens when you fall in love with someone who is not part of your culture?
What happens when you fall in love with someone who is not part of your religion?
What happens when you fall in love with someone, (if you are a girl), who is much younger than you?
What happens when you fall in love with someone who is of a different, (usually lower), cultural class than you?
How can we as humans control our emotions than have to suffer or watch others suffer cause of this?
One thing that I have witnessed is that some Arab girls I know who are Sunni fall in love with Shi3a or vice versa and the problems between families arise. That to me is not a big deal because my father’s mother is half Shi3a of Lebanese roots. So I never saw a problem with this at all, although I would not go through this problem because I am particular about religion and religious beliefs, and I was raised to be a Sunni and I am sticking to it.
Another problem I have witnessed is the cultural status or even countries. I know many Palestinians who have a problem with their daughters marrying someone who is not Palestenian. For example, an Egyptian, where the marriage and cultural behavior is a lot different because the female and her family is responsible with the engagement and wedding costs. Which to Palestinians is a big NO since the male is responsible for everything.
Another problem that is so common is the class systems between families. If the girl’s family is well off, and the guy’s is not, although the guy is highly educated, then the families will still not agree to this at all. Class systems are the biggest problems even within the same culture and religion. To me, I agree with this, but to an extent. I had this problem in the past because my father is highly educated and well off and guys are hesitant to approach me because of that.
Another problem that I have gone through is the age difference. Although it is fine religious wise because the Prophet Mohammad PBUH has done so with his first marriage, but in our world, it is unaccepted and ridiculed. “A girl marrying a guy much younger than her? Something must be wrong with her!” In my case, I don’t or don’t think I would ever marry someone younger because no younger guy in my dictionary will ever reach my level of thinking and seriousness. Although I love joking around and having fun, but I take life way too seriously! Even a person who is one year older will not work, and I suffered through that behavior difference in the past.
The biggest problem that I witnessed is the cultural and religious difference. And I read some Arab girls’ blogs who suffer because of this. To them, love does not know any boundaries. They cannot control their emotion towards a person who is not Muslim and Arab. Although it is a sin for a Muslim girl to marry a non-Muslim, the emotional turmoil that the girl goes through is uncontrollable. Was it her fault to have fallen in love with him? Why did she in the first place? Was this meant to be?
As humans, can we control our emotional behavior towards one another? Can we easily fall out of love with the person that we know that is not meant for us to ever be with, or let life lead the way and we just go through it like travelers in the mist and let life take its course without us doing anything about it?
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I looove FouseyTube!! All of his videos are... 
Trust me, it never went uphill for Romeo & Juliet, nor it will for us.
I recently went through a sad breakup, where I think age, religion, culture – the whole shabang was involved. But we knew what we were getting into, so it was easier when the time was up…
The morning after is another story though….
Thanks 4 the track info, btw.
ummm this is where I should say people should stick to their own because life is too complicated enough that people shouldn’t rock the boat… yea….
This is me putting that rebellion back into you Mona!!!
FUCK THAT SHIT… if you more then just click with someone consequences be damned make it work well at least, TRY!!! Why settle when you could have something really special, you never know what love can conjure up (God does this mean I’m a romantic and not the pragmatic I think I am…Fuck this going to require some personal analysis)
Mona!! Where is the Rebellion you are starting to sound like a conformist!
You need to click on your own website (all you people reading this do it as well) to that spot that says “Diasporic Discontents” there a very lovely individual who’s more eloquent then moi who has some blogs pertaining to this very issue
Well my great aunt married a guy that was eleven years younger than she was. When the guy met my great aunt, he said this is the woman I am going to marry. The guy just knew that he and she were meant to be together. After my great aunt died, her husband died three months later from old age. It is somewhat romantic when you think about their life together.
there is nothing called “meant to be with”
both sides have to work hard for the success of their relationship
and against all odds, they will succeed, if they work hard…
that is the idealistic situation….
Reality says…
NOOOOO
Hmm. I am going thru this right now. I am white and was raised catholic, but am in love with and am dating a pakistani muslim. we know sooner or later he will have to go back to his country and get married to a “good” girl that his parents will pick for him and it kills me, but no matter how many times i walk away we always gravitate towards eachother, even if we don’t see or speak to eachother for months, we always eventually end up together. AND i am 4 1/2 yrs older than him. I believe in meant to be, even though i don’t think it’ll happen for me and him since he is adamant on pleasing his parents by marrying a virgin muslim girl. i wish religion and cultural boundries could be abolished! if you love someone then BE with them. don’t go through life doing what others want and expect you to do all the time, esepcially if it involves going against your heart and not being abled to be truly happy.
Well I just want to say it CAN work if you want it to.. and families can accept it. It just depends on how much shit you want to go through. I’m white married to a pakistani with 1.5 kids for 4 yrs. His family is great to me. Yes I did end up converting in the end. But he propsed to me before I even thought of it. It wasn’t a condition placed on me to marry him. So to the commenter above.. it can be done and it has been done successfully many times. As for it being a sin for a muslim girl to marry a non muslim well that’s another thing.. and I think it’s a bunch of crap. If my daughter falls in love with a non muslim as long as he treats her right.. I would never cause her the pain that I’ve been through.
I just need to say this..
If you wanna go against the norm of society be my guest. It is probably for the better. Just remember what your doing and if you and your partner are not 100% dedicated, it will be rough.
But of course its always rough going against the grain. As well it should be.
Personaly for me I just don’t put myself in a position to fall for someone that I know I couldn’t be with in the future because of whatever differences. I’m generally conservative when it comes to interaction with the opposite sex and the couple of guys that i was serious about are guys that before I even let get to that point I knew I could actually be with this person.
As for the age stuff, my aunt married a guy about a decade older than her and they had a nasty divorce like 4 years later. About a year after that she married a guy that was 7 years younger than her and they’ve been happily married for like 18years now.