When I am mellow I need music to accompany my mood. I seldom listen to Arabic music because I find most new songs stupid with no meaning. So I always go back to old time classics. Well, just Fayrouz because it is the only music that is ever played in my house and the only songs I was forced to memorize by heart since I learned to talk.

Sorry it is not my usual up beat English music. However, just listening to this music is incredible and relaxing.

Aeteny Alnay – Give me the Flute

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Adesh Kan Fi Nas – How many people where there

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Al Wadaa – The Goodbye

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

My taste of Music

Today was my first day back to work after the bit of fiasco that happened last week. I wasn’t happy to be there, because I love what I do, but people make me so sad and really hurt me for the stupidest reasons.

So my boss was really mad and decided to have a meeting with us and screamed at us. I just sat there thinking to my self that I really did not want him to get mad and so disappointed over this. (He wasn’t there that day) If I wanted him to get involved I would have just told him what happened instead of me taking time off to think and be furious from people at work. I felt bad for him. He was so angry, he threatened to fire us. I just thought the moment he said that, “oh man.. he is so pissed and just talking out of anger.” Plus it was the 3rd or 4th time I got threatened to be fired, and every time I like him more because he finally uses his power of being a boss which I love and respect. Yah I am nutz, but I like people with authority to actually use their authority and not let things get out of hand anymore.

So during the meeting I sat quiet and I didn’t want to say anything till I heard everything that was said. I was completely focused and trying to figure out what has been going on in my absence, and then I decided to speak to him privately and get this problem solved once and for all.

In the end, I don’t think I am satisfied or happy. I wish I had a time machine to just go back in time and avoided any problems from happening. I like my work and I have fun at times, but like I said earlier, I don’t know how people think or how they react. I never meant to be mean or hurtful in any way. I like the quirkiness and craziness and fun that my co-workers bring to the room, but they don’t like me at all. I learned it the hard way, and there is nothing left to do. I mean it is enough that I only have one friend, but she is not even in my city, and I am here all alone and no one likes me or talks to me and work was the only thing that kept me happy. Now, I got nothing.

I don’t know how I will be going to work from now on to a place where people don’t like me anymore. It is sad, but what am I to do? I wish I can go back to my old self and just don’t talk or say anything and just stay by my self and work. It was better. It really was.

Random Thoughts, They said what?

Blogs are the biggest form of reality tv online life. No need to post videos or stupid edited lines to make your blog interesting. Real life blogs are the most read blogs on the net. Just writing down your thoughts and the things you did for the day is enough. Throwing pictures here and there, or a video of some weird situation just spices it up.

This week I was labeled as the depressing sad blog. I guess some people actually sympathize with me from time to time. I thought people just read my blog to see if today I am crazier than yesterday.

I pretty much lost over 90% of my Arab audience. Most of my visitors and commentors are not Arabs anymore. (Most Arabs hate my blog because I don’t care about what I say.) I guess my blog has reached the masses because I don’t write about just being an Arab. It is about everything. About my life, about my thoughts. It is not hard for anyone to start a blog like mine and just be honest and tell the truth about anything that needs to be said out loud. It is the hardest thing.

However, it was easy for me to do, because I don’t speak out in real life, and I use my blog as a medium of speaking out. I just have a fear that if I speak out or interact with any more people than what I already know, that I would say something that will bite me in the ass in the end. I just learned to just take out all my anger, all my thoughts, all my problems, and just write it out. Then I feel that I got it out of my chest.

I know, it is a bad thing to do. However, I don’t like to hurt people or say anything to anyone because I don’t know how people will react. So I just avoid them, and just avoid headaches. That’s why I just keep saying, “I want to be left alone. Leave me alone.” It is because I can’t handle people anymore. At times I can’t even handle people’s comments.

Like this week, some idiot said that if I had a problem working in Canada, then I should go back to my land and live in the Terrorist camps where I belong. I didn’t want to deal with such morons and I just banned him from the site, but why the hell are people such racist bigots? I mean, if someone said that to me in real life, I would die from shock. It is enough I have received racist comments growing up until now, but that’s just too much. The internet has become a wild zoo.

Media sucks! However, blogs are the only personal mediums where reality shows are a lot more believable and easier to sympathize with.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?

I spent the past week in aww and a bit of jealousy. I kept saying to my self, “how can people make amazing digital art? It looks so complicated and I am just lazy.” I learned to be lazy from being a programmer. So I told my self that I will do it too. I will become a great digital artist too! I don’t care how long it will take me, but I will learn it. I hate Photoshop and all its amazing power, but I will make proper digital art.

I hated photoshop from the beginning. I hated its complicated layering systems, its window within window just so you can do one alteration. I just hated it, and I seldom ever used it. I kept thinking, why would anyone use this crap? It’s not graphical user friendly. I am used to fast paced software that will help me do what I need to design quickly. To me time is luxury, and I don’t want to spend time doing one little thing which I can do with one click on another program.

Then I decided to go into a more complicated life and become a programmer. That requires a lot of patience! But I like it only because I am an analytical thinker and I like to design and code. Coding is fun, it is like solving a jigsaw puzzle. Once it is complete and all together, the result is magnificent!

Then I remembered back in the good old days where I was labeled as a young artist. I used to paint, draw, and make sculptures easily. I had a very artistic creative approach to things, but I was good at math and science, so it made no sense. So I was stuck in the middle and I felt like I can be good at anything if I set my mind to it. Also, I still adore all the art prizes I won over the years growing up. I mean, winning a Polaroid camera when you are 8 years old is amazing! It was a talent that I was happy to have.

So now I want to master being a digital artist. I want to change my direction in life, and learn to use Photoshop. Oh wait, I already did! Took me a day but dammit it, I can use everything in it now! I was like, screw all the beginner tutorials and what each window means and all the options; I am going straight to advanced tutorials.

I just skipped maybe 1st, 2nd, 3rd and almost done 4th year graphics art degree. :lol:

Time to make great art using crappy Adobe Photoshop. Oh I hate you, but your power is unruly!

Advertising, Blah Blah, Random Thoughts

I found my weekend therapy that brings me back to sanity and reminds me constantly what my job is in life. I am meant to be a digital graphics artist drawing fun characters and cartoons. It is what I do best and enjoy doing with all my heart. So I decided to make a bunch of iRebel Robots. I make them very simple and barely any movements. However, the movements are enough for each song!

Introducing iRebel robot Stumper.

Here is the wallpaper.

Stumper is dancing to the song “Shut up and Drive” by Rihanna. The background object is actually a robot type vehicle!

If you have any suggestions or any songs you want an iRebel to dance to, then please leave a comment. The song has to be high beat dance song.

Advertising, My taste of Music