One thing I hate about the Capitalist world that we live in is the idea of job hunting. I am not saying I favor communism where everyone is treated equally and everyone has a job, oh no, no (although it crossed my mind a million times.) I am talking about the annoyances of all these job sites that have all these useless positions. I wonder sometimes why they post these positions and if they ever do reply back to anyone or are they just doing market research trying to find out how many people out there “might have ALL the skills” for a future potential position at their organization. Can a person have ALL the skills? Half the jobs I read are meant for 3 or 4 people team, and it turns out to be a one person job. How? They except people to be robots I swear.

So I did the horrible deed today, although I feel like crap and I am sick and tired and I feel like fainting constantly from anger and depression and hatred of my life. I really do hate my life at the moment. Not because of my job, nor cause of being mentally and physically sick, oh no. It is because I let all this anger and physical ailments build up to the point where it seriously hurt. I mean it. It hurt. I had a nervous breakdown last night, and this morning I said to everything in my life, “f*^#$^%# it!” I don’t care anymore.

I really don’t. So when I regained my semi consciousness later on in the day, I decided to apply for every single job out there in my city that has anything to do with technical work. From little programming jobs to managerial. I didn’t care anymore. Who ever calls I will say yes, I will come for an interview. No more being picky.

I want to work and be useful in a job I would like getting up to go to every day. I want people to say, “yes, Mona knows how to get things done and is an amazing asset to our organization!”

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I decided that I will look for another job. I had enough. I am going to do a full fledge job hunting like I am unemployed. I can’t stand my work anymore or the people there. They hate me, insult me, and I can’t stand being in the same room with them anymore. From now on, I am no longer defending anyone or feeling sorry for them. If they were meant to be fired the first time, so be it. I don’t care anymore. I want to leave soon and this time no games. Today I had enough and there are a lot of places out there that will appreciate me working for them with better work ethics.

For once in my life I want to feel like I am going to work every day with people who respect me and not insult me and actually treat me as a co-worker and not a joke.

I wonder what I can do. I guess I can look for regular programming jobs or graphics design or anything with a good working environment.

I will just keep praying and hoping for the best.

Angry, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

One thing I don’t like is people bugging me. I tend to hide and stop answering phone calls or answer emails or chat on msn. I just want peace and quiet! Please! I have stuff to do, things to accomplish, and I feel trapped by having to please people. Why do I have to please everyone?

Yesterday was worse. I was hounded and I had missed calls on my cell phone and constant msn messages asking me to call someone just to make sure if he will pick up. Just a missed call. Nothing more.

That’s when I drew the line. I actually said, “NO.”

Also, I was stereotyped as a person who always argues and never agrees. I am sorry, why should I agree with something I don’t believe in? I don’t agree with people for the fun of it and just please them. I could care less. I say and do things that satisfy me. I don’t care if it is right or wrong. As long as I am convinced than that’s it. Then they say there is no room to argue with me. Argue with that? I said no and I didn’t agree the first time, why would I change my mind the second time?

So I decided to just hide and stop talking to people. I need my quiet alone time. I haven’t had that in a long long time.

Angry, Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

If you want to see it with a better audio
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SGKY3Vw7PiQ

I love Canada!

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If you are considering eating disorder treatment, look for a program that provides 24/7 medical supervision, nutritional guidance and a variety of therapies. With the right eating disorder treatment program, recovery is possible.

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The sad part about the world we live in is the self esteem problems that guys and girls suffer from daily. For girls it is the constant problems they possess about their physical appearance. They are too fat, too short, too ugly, not as pretty as a model, have a big nose, small mouth, etc. Oh my God I got sick of hearing that same thing over and over again. No one is born ugly. No one. You are only physically ugly if you change the way you look to some bazaar looking freak with too much makeup and strange hair cuts. You are also ugly if you act ugly. If you are rude to others and think others are beneath you and you are the queen of the world then yes, you are an ugly person.

The biggest whiners are Arab girls. I swear it is because of their mothers. Their mothers convince them that if they are not 110 pounds that they will never get married because guys only want skinny model like girls. (don’t forget the Arab mom’s obsession with a very light skinned girl with blue or green eyes.) *smacking my head on the wall*

Seriously, girls now a days have a major self esteem problem with the way they look. I don’t know why. Why can’t girls accept the way they look? What is wrong with the way you look? Look now. Stop reading the rest of this article, and go look at your self in the mirror for 1 min. Just act a bit vain and stare at your self. What do you see?

1 min …

Ok.. so you saw your self. So, are you ugly? You only think you are ugly if you keep comparing your self to others. If you think you are ugly because you are not some hot model that guys keep staring at in the street and won’t take their eyes off you then WRONG. Guys stare too much because they see a girl who is BEYOND abnormal and keep looking at her wondering if she is real.

Well girls, cut the crap and this self esteem problem. You are pretty, gorgeous, just tell your self that a million times and believe it so hard, then that tiny part of your brain will tell the rest of your semi-functional brain to shut up and accept your natural God given beauty.

Q. But Mona, sometimes you write like you have self esteem problems?

A. Yah.. that’s when I am moody, but I never said I was ugly. I am not ugly. Duh..

Now the guys.. Oh man.. I mean it.. oh man. Guys guys.. I have never met more whiners and people with self esteem issues than guys. It made me wonder why girls have this problem at all. It is the guys who think they are ugly. Guys, you are not ugly. No matter what. If a girl rejects you or doesn’t want you, it is not because you are ugly. It is probably cause you acted like a dumb butt or said something stupid. I know it is heart breaking and you think girls are shallow and only go for looks, but they don’t. Girls have their own problems that they become defensive and may reject you because you acted dumb and strange. That’s all.

The reason I am mentioning this is because I knew so many guys who thought they were not good looking at all because no girl wants them. I tell them this, “you are stupid and you act like a 5 year old. Why would any girl want you?”

Girls are easily attracted to mature men. Simple as that.

The goatee will help!

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