What am I to do?
Honestly, is it me or the whole world is messed up? I will explain why I don’t like people.. because people are ass holes.. and they hurt others for the hell of it.
My best friend now is crying her eyes out, and she lives in another city and I am not there to comfort her at all.
So what happened?
Ok.. I had enough of the drama the past 3 days. I was patient and I was quiet and I wanted the whole thing to end. So she talked to me on msn now and she said, “I finally got in touch with him.”
I said, “you really want closure that badly don’t you?”
She said, “it ended. He ended it.. He doesn’t want me at all.”
I said, “ok.. I knew that. It was obvious he just came here all the way from the States to see how you really are in person and that’s it.”
She said, “He said he doesn’t like the way I look, and the pics on Facebook are not how I look. That I look a lot bigger in person.”
I said, “what the fuck. What a fucker… what the hell?”
She said, “He talked more about all the details and stuff we both talked about, and he was so picky.”
I said, “I told you to not go into detail and discuss every aspect of your past life with him. Why did you do that?”
She said, “Mona, do you think I look so different than my facebook pics? Even the past few months, do I look so different and so much bigger?”
I said, “Aah no.. not really.. to me you are still smaller and petite compared to me.”
She said, “Please tell me the truth. Am I such a cow now and so unattractive?”
I said, “I don’t think so.”
She didn’t talk or say anything for about a minute and I knew she was crying.
I said, “Can you please stop crying! Get over it.. The guy is a fucking ass. Why do you even want such an idiot? If he is going to judge you because the way you look, then seriously, he is an ass.”
She said, “but when he met me, he said that he really liked me and said I was attractive and liked the way I look.”
I said, “…. and? So?”
She said, “you don’t get it. If I wasn’t super skinny, I am not pretty at all. He even removed me from Facebook.”
I said, “listen.. you are talking to the wrong person here.. I am much bigger and taller than you and I don’t go through this drama at all. If that is the reason he didn’t want you, then he has problems and maybe you didn’t click the way you thought you did. I told you to be your self and not be so mushy and nice to guys. Guys take advantage of that! He was just going along with what you are saying just so he can come and meet you in person.. and maybe he wanted more than that and wanted a weekend fling.. who knows.. he is a GUY and an ARAB! If you are not super skinny and look like you are going to a club at 9:00 am then you are nothing to them!”
She said, “I don’t know.. at least you are attractive and guys turn heads to look at you.. me.. if I wasn’t super skinny like I was and dress a certain way, then guys would not even look at me at all.”
I said, “ok.. seriously.. you need to stop this.. stop crying and putting your self through this shit.”
She then logged off and probably crying her eyes out right now.
Why the fuck are guys ass holes? What am I to do now? Why do Arab girls have to suffer from such ass holes.. I told her a million times to stop meeting guys off stupid personal sites.. Just meet nice people in her area and be friends with them first without them judging her from the first meeting.
Fuck it.. I am sick of hearing about relationships and love and bull shit drama.. I am going to sleep.
I started a voting pole yesterday to ask my readers about it. To me, I am just sick of hearing this word and everyone justifying their feelings and emotions due to it or lack of it. It is sick. I am not anti-love. (Although I HATE Valentine’s day and who ever came up with such a thing to break people’s hearts.) I think love is not just something you say for the hell of it and to justify that life will be better if you had it. Love is not something that just happens because it was “meant” to happen.
To me love is simple, you know someone, you are comfortable with them as a friend and as a decent human being and you can talk to them without having to think twice of what you are saying. You have fun, joke around and make life around you and them simple and enjoyable. When you can’t stop thinking about them and “see” them all the time, then you know that you are “falling” in love. What type of love is it? Depends. Could be love friendship, or could be opposite gender love. Who knows.
It takes a day for a person to face reality, but will they accept it? No. They rather live in denial than have to think about it ever again. Denial is a psychological disease. It is not lying to others for the sake of the moment and not to get in trouble. On the contrary, it is an unconscious action that a person cannot control. Others can read people who live in denial in an instant and tell them to stop it and face reality now. Others can never tell because the lie is too believable and inconspicuous.
