Am I looking for work?
I am an RSS active reader, and I have netvibes as my custom page on my browser. I have a collection of RSS feeds from blogs that I like to read and I comment on most. I even follow bloggers who hate my guts, but I like to read their blogs. I don’t hate anyone, because how can I hate people I never met? The writing style is what attracts me to a person’s blog.
Anyways, I was reading some blogs, and I was commenting. Then my mom comes in my room and looks at what I am doing. I was obviously filling up a form to comment on someone’s blog and she says with a big grin, “Are you filling out a resume?”
I looked back at her and I said, “aah no. I am just reading sites.”
She said, “oh.. why not?”
I said, “why what?”
She said, “Why not fill out a resume and look for work?”
I said, “aah.. I am reading and watching TV. I don’t have time.”
I sat there thinking, my family has no idea that I have been looking for work or just semi-actively looking for different opportunities. They have no idea that this is my last year working at the same place I have been working for the past 5.5 years. They have no idea that I might loose my job if we don’t get any government funding at all within the next month. They have no idea about anything. Why? Because if I even talk or bring up any negative or problematic thing in my life, then they will make a big deal and sit there worrying constantly and daily and won’t stop bothering me about it. I mean, I have been going crazy and acting like a nut for the past three months. I can’t actively enjoy or do anything in my life with anyone or anything. The worry is killing me, but I don’t want to discuss it or show it. So I just isolate my self in my room and just browse the net.
It is enough I go to work and try to not think about what’s going to happen the next day or if I am still there. So having to worry someone else is not something I want to put up with.
The reason my mom keeps asking me to find another job because she knows I should be at a higher position and being a leader. She is sick of me being a programmer and wants me to dress up and be something really important. I don’t know why, but she keeps saying, “I want you to be the best because I know you can be!” In the end of the day, I think the reason I keep thinking that I should be at a higher position is because my mom keeps nagging to me about it. She is really sick of my job and wants me to do something else. She has been sick of my job for about 2 years now and has been bugging me to find another. Honestly, I have no clue what I can do. I have submitted my resume to over 30 or 40 jobs so far. Nothing.
People who suggested to help with my resume said they would, but nothing. I don’t know what to do. No one wants to help me, and no one wants to hire me. I don’t know. It is really frustrating and it has caused me to become extremely depressed and moody to the point that people can’t even stand being around me anymore. It is also causing me to not sleep at all for 2 or 3 nights in a row. I don’t know what to do anymore. At times I just feel like it is better to just be alone and to have the whole world forget I exist so I don’t have to bother with anyone or anything. Maybe I should live in an igloo up north and become a penguin’s neighbour. They won’t bug me or question what I do or if I have any skills other than hibernate in the cold!
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Hey just found ur post and totally related to ur situation. Here is something my dad sent to me, hope it helps. keep ur chin up
A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, ‘How much do you think this glass weighs?’
’50 gms!’… ’100 gms!’… ’125 gms’ … the students answered.
‘I really don’t know unless I weigh it,’ said the professor, ‘but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?’
‘Nothing’ the students said.
‘Ok! What would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?’ the professor asked.
‘Your arm would begin to ache’, said one of the students.
‘You are right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?’
‘Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress and paralysis and have to go to hospital for sure!’ ventured another student; and all the students laughed.
‘Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?’ asked the professor.
‘No’
‘Then what caused the arm ache and the muscle stress?’ The students were puzzled.
‘Put the glass down!’ said one of the students.
‘Exactly!’ said the professor. ‘Life’s problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head and they seem okay. Think of them for a long time and they begin to ache. Hold it even longer and they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything’.
‘It’s important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to have trust in Allah (SWT) and to ‘put them down’ at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh and strong and can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!’
So, as it becomes time for you to leave office today, Remember friend to ‘PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY’ and have tranquility by putting trust in Almighty Allah (SWT).
Noble Qur’an says: “He it is who sent down tranquility into the hearts of the believers that they might have more faith added to their faith”. (48:4) Tranquility is sign of strong faith while worries and stress is sign of weak faith.
By worrying so much, do’nt turn your life to hell. Good luck.
That was beautiful!
Wandered in off of Problogger: saw your comment there and then arrived at this site.
I think it is very difficult to convince many who are older of just how much things have changed jobwise. My professors, because I attend a grad school that’s a bit of an outcast, understand exactly what new academics face – universities have no real incentive to hire full-time tenured faculty, and being lost in crappy adjunct jobs for the rest of one’s life is a real possibility.
At least they recognize how ugly the reality can be. For most people, the fact that there are a few who have stable jobs disguises the harsh reality behind the rest of us struggling to get something, and the even harsher reality for those of us trying to be entrepreneurs of a sort. I don’t think our parents have any clue how much people who are billionaires now starve to get their ideas off the ground.
Please don’t stress. Some of us do see how much the new job market requires one get comfortable with independence, and we’re blogging away and marketing ourselves, making the most of every opportunity possible, not merely the ones that involve resumes.
MD that is a good story and one I think I will take to heart. I also worry too much about everything to the point where I have trouble sleeping sometimes at night. It is hard to shut off the brain at night. It makes me long for the days when I was a young child and didn’t have a care in the world even when things around me were crappy. I went blissfully along playing with my toys and I didn’t have much in the way of any thoughts in my head. I was like a blank slate. A whole lot of nothing went on my head. It would be great to sleep soundly again.
Mona before you move up north I thought I would let you know that Penguins live in the Antarctica and Polar Bears would be you neighbours in the Arctic Circle!
Polar bears are even cooler neighbours!
Ya cool until the polar bears start looking at you as their next dinner.