The past is meant to be forgotten
I have been pretty down lately from life and people. At times I feel that I cannot control anything in my life anymore. It has been very upsetting and very depressing for me. Out of depression and being sick and tired, I tend to remember the happy times that I had in the past and see if I can turn back time. I have been trying to get in touch with people from the past. Just to say “hey, how are you. Do you still remember me?” Nothing. No replies, nothing. I tried email, and even Facebook. No answer. On Facebook they even removed their accounts and I cannot search for them anymore, or maybe they just blocked me. I don’t know. I don’t understand people anymore and why they hate me so much. Was I ever that bad?
I look at my life now and I can honestly say I am at an all time low. I wish I can just meet new people or try to be more open and have fun in life. I am so scared now a days from talking or trying to interact much with people because I am afraid they will hate me if I said anything. So I just stay quiet and just listen. I don’t know what to do anymore. I think the past haunts me, the present is not a place I want to be in, and I cannot even think of the future anymore.
The other day, my dad was sitting there in the living room with my mom one morning before I was going off to work, and he was so sad. Then I said, “what’s wrong?” My dad said, “I keep dreaming about you.” I said, “ok?” Mom then said, “he wants you to get married. He is worried about you.” Then my dad’s eyes started watering and was about to cry. I just got up and left. I couldn’t stand it. I don’t know what to do with my self anymore. Everything in my life is so wrong and nothing is going the way it was supposed to be and everyone is sad and upset cause of me. At times I wish I just never existed.
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Hey Hey! cheer up come on! its not that bad..3anjad,look at the world around you and you will always see problems way worse than urs..when things go low just try to enjoy the good things in ur life..ur family time..the comfort of looking out a window..the new gadget u got..whatever makes u happy..just try not to worry too much,i know its easier said than done but trust me,good things will come along.
And about ur dad,it is very normal especially with our parents’ generation,and the way our parents compare their friend’s children to their own.
Easier said than done..
I’ve been through something similar to what you’re experiencing recently. The best thing you can do… or rather, the only thing you can do is try to focus on yourself. Just be with yourself. Happiness can only come from you. Other people can only enhance the happiness you hold within yourself. They can’t create it from scratch. If it ever seems like someone is doing just that, it’s a palliative sort of happiness, something that can go up in smoke without a moment’s notice.
In regard to whether or not the past is meant to be forgotten, well… I don’t know. Have you ever seen a movie called ‘Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’? If you haven’t, you should. I wrote something inspired by it a while ago and I think it applies to your question. If you wanna have a look, here’s the link:
http://www.hirideyo.com/journal/iris/2007/08/19/remembering_and_forgetting
Hello Iris,
I have never seen that movie or heard of it before. However, I title is intriguing. Is the past meant to be forgotten? I don’t know.
I am reading your article now. You have a lovely site.
I know this will not make you feel at all better… But here it is anyway.
Things can get much more worse…. And onday you may even look at the time right now and wish you could go back to it.
One of my best friends who I have known since I was 9 and was more like a brother (A good one) has just disappeared. I know why he is not talking to me… He has just had a kid and is being controlled by his new partner… It sucks but its life.
Instead of looking into the past, why not look for new friends… The past is the past… Look to the future.
well here goes my effort to cheer you up… spring of 2000 in Tulkarm, Palestine I met a jovial elderly Palestinian gentleman who jokingly (I think he was joking) tried to pass one out of his four unmarried adult daughters onto me for marriage (I was 24 at the time) when I mentioned I wasn’t muslim he replied “well, we’ll work on that.” :lol: man I liked that dude, I wonder what ever came of him…. anyways there are worse situations you could have be in and worse situations your Dad could be in… their could be four Mona’s