Don’t we all at times wish that we can zap our co-workers and bosses away and be left alone for a day or two. I did, therefore it is possible! My boss is off this week, and my co-workers are off to a conference which I so stubbornly refused to go to because the benefit that I get from a 3 day conference is, well, a headache maybe? Spending more time with people who agree to not like me or one another? Sleeping in a bed someone else slept on? Sleeping on feathered expensive pillows that are too soft that my neck aches for days to come? I always think of the over all picture. What can a person benefit from all this? Some tell me, it’s a free trip! Some others say, you will learn so much and network to find a job in the future with big companies!

Hold up. Networking. That word. Meh.

Bleah! Networking with people across the globe so some day in the vast unknown future where I will be a citizen and proud land owner of a glass home on the moon with a full view of a crater will not really benefit me in any way. I have seen what happens to people who think that networking is the solution to everything. When things get tough for them, those networks are just there and really can’t do anything other than take their resume, give it to a higher superior, and that’s it. Might as well email the damn thing or send it in the mail to that person.

Also, you get these people who love to tell others that giving them your resume will get them a cash bonus if they land you a job! Ha Ha Ha.. haaaaaaaaaaaaa. Funny. Seriously funny. I honestly just want to get a job just to do that. Give me $2000 – $5000 per head that you hire under my recommendation and I will no longer call my self a dedicated employee but a recruiter. Fine. Let them be a recruiter, but will they recruit you for a position that is above them or their equal? Do they even have the power to do so? I seen what people have done in the past to others who tried to go for a position higher than them. “Sure, give me your resume. I will put a good word for you.” (they toss it in the pile of paper garbage on their desk)

What a life. If I spent my time worrying about getting a job through someone else and meeting various people that I don’t even know on a personal level and at times I don’t even know their last name, then really, what do I benefit? I am not against conferences or networking per-say, but I need more of a valid reason to enjoy my time (island view) and learn something that I cannot look up my self on the internet. Something that I can say to a future employer, “I went to this to get trained for that, and it has benefited me better in my work and every day life. I have become more than your average worker in this field.”

Also, don’t we feel happier when we get interviewed based on a resume that we sent out than having to have someone to assist us? My next job which I hope to get soon in the next 3 to 6 months with my vigorous and daily job hunting will be based on my efforts and mine only. Then when I walk into a new job I don’t have to kiss ass all the time and thank this and that for being here. It just feels weird.

I know, many people will be screaming at me now and wondering what the hell is wrong with my ideas. Meh. I am at work alone and I am just describing how it is to work in a small 14×10 office with lots of furniture, grad students passing by whose laughing is beyond obnoxious even with the horrible sound of the air fan thing on the ceiling, and thinking to my self, I miss those lunatic co-workers I have and they actually make me smile every now and then. They keep my brain stimulated with lots of thoughts of being annoyed, irritated, angry, entertained and highly amused for reasons that a 2 year old can probably understand.

In conclusion, I hate being here alone with the stupid sound of the fan and no one to bug me for reasons that are beyond comprehension. Even the music from my laptop cannot mask the sound of the treacherous ceiling monster.

Funny, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

It’s 2008 and it has been a bit over 11 years since I have been living in Canada. I know, it may not be a long time for some, but for me it is because it is the country that I have lived in the longest. I have been living in different countries all my life because I am Palestinian, and the Palestinian dream is to no longer be carrying a refugee passport and live normally like other people in the world and have a government that will call them citizens and give them basic human rights.

I always get asked this, “if you were born in Saudi Arabia, aren’t you Saudi?” Hmm, no. The thing is with the Arab world, if you are born in any Arab country other than your parent’s birth home, then you follow your parent’s country of citizenship. I always found that confusing and a bit hypocritical. I am born in a modern country, on their lands, in their hospitals, and I carry a birth certificate with the country’s name on it. However, under citizenship, it says Palestinian Refugee. I think many people out there who are in my age group have this same problem. Same goes for those born in UAE, Kuwait, etc. The common countries where Palestinians and other Arabs have moved to in the late 60′s, 70′s and 80′s because of the economic boom.

Also, why in Arab countries, under birth certificate and other personal identification, religion is always written. I always wondered about that, then when I lived in USA for 5 years, the problems people were dealing with is racism and why they have to identify their race in every government documentation. Why categorize human beings into groups? Why should I be labeled as a Muslim Sunni who is a Palestinian refugee with a Lebanese Palestinian Refugee status? I have the choice to tell people that, and I don’t want official documentations to be used in my favor or against me. It is just not right. Why can’t people just call me Mona? A female? A human being?

I get many emails to my site from Arabs back home asking me how life is in Canada and they plan to move here and is it worth it. The common question they ask is, “are people racist here against them because Arabs are not favored in the Western world?” I think about it, and I say, “no. Canada is known to be multicultural and you will find all kinds of people here, and a large population of Arabs.”

Then I thought about it more, “did I have any racist comments or any problems living in Canada?” Well, the only problem I had living here is the new immigrant Arabs and how they labeled me as “one of them.” I kept asking why, and they say, “well, you don’t have to worry about moving to a new country, learning a new language because you speak the language perfectly, and you know everything.” Hence, I was secluded and unwanted by that group. It’s funny, instead of wanting me to help them adjust to the change since I have gone through that my self, but at a much younger age, I am ridiculed and labeled. Let’s not even talk about my Arabic dialect and how it is not Palestinian enough for some people.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

Thy word is “Procrastination.” Notice how I capitalized the P so the word would appear as a proper noun. It gives it some power for such a blasphemous word.

I am the Queen of Procrastination. Also I capitalized the Q because you can’t be a Procrastinator without a royal capitalized title. (Yes, that means you have to call me your majesty.) I know you are thinking that we all are, but I am not your typical Procrastinator. I take honor in Procrastination because without it, I would never have the drive to get anything done. However, not many people know that I am one and think I am a hard worker because I accomplish great things. No. I tell people, I am lazy, lazy, and beyond lazy. They don’t believe it and then they ask how can I be lazy and still have a job? I say, I am lazy and I don’t care that I am, but I will get whatever I have to get done on time with no problems! I hide the act of Procrastination which resulted from my sloth like behaviour well enough, because I never make a big deal or panic putting off things to the last minute. On the contrary, I plan for it.

I plan to be a Procrastinator because it gives me all the energy in the world to accomplish my tasks. I tend to be the uncaring one as well. I always put things off to the last minute because I don’t really care how I get it done and why I am getting it done. As long as I get it done before the specified deadline. Some people don’t know why Procrastination is such a common thing now a days. It’s an unintentional action due to how much we don’t care about a situation. However, I care enough to keep asking, “when is it due? When do you want it by?” I keep asking this to everyone or looking up deadlines. I don’t have a day planner or agenda at all. I have the constant itch to check dates and memorize them or keep asking them.

So I remember dates of things I have to do and get done, but I can’t force my self to get on it and work on it or get it done for the life of me. I can’t stand the fact that I think that it will take me hours and weeks to accomplish a task, when in reality, my brain functions better when I am at the edge and a deadline is near. I keep saying, maybe tomorrow, next week, next month, aah, the date is coming up in 3 days, maybe I should look into it more and see what I can get done in 72 hours. Or if I have to sign up or do something, I wait till the last day or the last few hours possible. That’s when coffee becomes an essential tool to success! So I keep thinking, why rush? Let me think about it to the point that I have no reason anymore to keep on waiting.

Has Procrastination ever lead me to a situation I wasn’t able to accomplish what I had to do? Hmm. No.

I used to think it was a disease or a mental psychological problem I had, and I was planning to go to these counseling sessions of “how to over come Procrastination,” but I was too lazy to go to them.

Anyways, at work, all I do is beg for someone to give me a deadline so I have something to work towards to. I can’t have no deadlines. Without deadliens I can’t be lazy, and I strive for laziness! There has to be a deadline! I go crazy that I panic and make up my own deadlines and they are pretty short time-framed deadlines and I end up getting my work done too quickly. I then just sit there and do nothing for a while. Argh. Procrastination has made me this jittery crazy person that can’t live life without deadlines. I don’t have the energy or drive to get anything done without a final date!

Damn. All I can imagine now is a Microsoft Project document open with a time estimate chart with so many milestones dates. OMG! What has Project Management courses taught me!

Time Frame -> Procrastination -> Milestone

Now that’s my ideal formula for success!

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!

I am at work at my lunch brake, or whatever. I never actually had a lunch brake at this job. Lunch can be any time. It could be called brunch, and than an hour later, lunch. I think the latter is more common, but when you work in a University environment where your employer does not penalize you for your time, and the final product is the only thing he expects, then really, lunch is just a formal word used by employees to tell people don’t bother me between 12 – 1 p.m.

Well, I am working, and after I ate my brain slowly told me to sleep. Go to sleep Mona. Go now. However, I got work to do and I am not progressing at all. I have no design papers, no comments, and no documentations. Just a site coded poorly and I keep telling my self to take it one step at a time and redo it bit by bit. It’s hard to redo something that you have no idea what it is supposed to really do.

I am not going to classify my self as an awesome genius of a coder, but I always use natural language to explain what I am doing. It helps! It helps a lot!

This morning I woke up too early. I think that is my problem. I don’t sleep enough most of the week. I either sleep 10 hours a day, or 4 hours. I wake up constantly in the middle of the night thinking it is time to wake up to go to work.

I got to go back to work. Zzzz

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!