Smack my hands and tell me I am crazy why don’t you? As I was going home today, I got a call on my cell phone from someone. I answered and I said, “hello.” A lady answered back and said, “Hello. Sorry we didn’t stay in touch, are you ok?”

I said, “sorry, who is this?”

She said, “I am Dr. xxxx. The psychologist from campus that saw you back in October. Are you ok? I haven’t heard back from you and you missed your appointments.”

I said, “ah. Oh. Yah sorry. Life got busy you know, and actually went down hill since very early November with my job and life, etc..”

She said, “are you still employed in the same place?”

I said, “yes. Unfortunately.”

She said, “Well, are you ok?”

I said, “No. Not really. I think I turned into a worse person than I ever was. I became this blunt uncaring person. I just say what is on my mind and I don’t care anymore about the consequences.”

She said, “how blunt? It’s ok to express your self and say what is on your mind as long as you are considerate to others. You need to control your rage. I think you need to come in for real for a consolation with me because you seem to take out your rage in an unhealthy manner. This time you have to show up.”

I said, “listen. I missed my appointments the first time because I didn’t want to go anymore. You calling me 7 months after is not going to help anymore and a bit odd.”

She said, “you really need to come in, and you still have vivid signs of denial and depression. Also, are you looking for new work? I think it will help changing your environment completely.”

My tone changed and I became a bit irritated and said, “listen!!!! I have actively been looking for work for the past month. Obviously, I don’t want to be here and I can’t quit. I am stuck. You want to know how to help me. FIND ME A JOB!”

She paused a bit for a few seconds.

She then said, “I will make an appointment for you next week. This time show up.”

She then said bye and hung up.

I was so mad! I couldn’t believe her. What the hell is wrong with people? Can’t they leave me the hell alone!

Screw it.. I am not going.