I got many emails and many post ideas to talk about. Some people emailed me with great questions that needs to be addressed. Well, actually my opinion about some issues need to be addressed, and I just haven’t been motivated to write much. I wanted to write every day about Palestine, but I don’t know if I can today. I have just been feeling sick. Not only that, the room that we were deported to at work has the worst heating problem on earth. It feels like over 30c in here and I complained and I complained, but no one wants to do anything. I am having hard time opening my eyes, and no, I am not physically sick that I can’t walk or talk like some people think. I am just tired and unhappy. I have no joy in life anymore, and I feel lost and confused.

The atmosphere, the unrewarding pointless work here, and the lack of work ethics this place has, is making me sick day after day. Every day I just go in, and just sit there counting the minutes till I leave. Right now I got 29 minutes to go.

Blah Blah, Depressed, Random Thoughts

I am home sick. I have been sick and sniffly all day. I had an odd morning, and I just got more and more sick as the day passed. Yesterday wasn’t any better. I go to work now a days just sitting there counting the minutes till I leave. I actually stare at the phone’s clock cause it is more accurate than my laptop. (Accurate as in one minute ahead!)

I am causing my self daily migraines and hate of what I do in life. I feel I am trapped in a never ending battle of this thing called work. I don’t think I hated my self and this job as much as I have the past 3 weeks. It became unbearable. I used to love it. I used to wake up every morning in a hurry to just go to work and do great things and have an objective. Now, I got nothing. I am just getting paid to just count the minutes to go home. It is frustrating. I feel I am cheating my self and I am earning money for nothing.

I was seriously considering last week to resign from my job. I was at the edge and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I even thought that if I took a vacation than I would have to go back to the same thing again. So it was pointless. I wanted to detach my self from that place so badly. I even had a resignation letter prepared. (This is what happens when you don’t sleep.)

Yesterday and today were one of those edgy days. I couldn’t even eat. I have no joy in anything and I just want to cry. I think I am slowly loosing my patience and my sanity, or whatever is left of them.

Depressed

I know I have been preoccupied with my life and stuff that I have been ignoring the real issue with my people. Palestine 60 year occupation is on May 15, 2008. I will have a post about Palestine every day for the next 8 days. I think most of you have been waiting for me to talk about this. I definetly have been getting a mass of complaints from people of why I am not talking about Palestine. I was trying to make a point that my blog is NOT political but just ME. I was just waiting for the right moment to begin writing about it. So today I will begin discussing it briefly. I will not get into detail of the whole conflict, you can look it up your self, but general history of my land and me.

Who am I?

I am born a Palestinian refugee. That’s what it said on my birth certificate and the passport that the Lebanese government has given my family and me. My parents are not born in Palestine because they are born after 1948 in Lebanon in refugee camps.

Where am I from?

I am from a town near Akka (Acre). The norther most city in Palestine. It is famous for its high walls and stopping Napoleon and his troops from entering the holy land back in the days.

I have never seen Palestine, although I can go now to it since I am Canadian, but am I willing to leave it? That’s my problem. If I step foot in my land I will refuse to leave it and I will demand everything back that belongs to me and my family. But reality stinks, and that won’t happen that easily. So my people are all over the world. Name a country, and they are most likely there. We are the world travelers. We were forced out of our lands and we are permeated everywhere on God’s green earth. At least when I die everyone can proudly say she was born a Palestinian and died a Palestinian.

I will show a video everyday pertaining to the occupation at various points in history. This video is of Palestine in 1948. I translated the song on the bottom. Let’s see how well my Arabic is! If anyone can translate it better, then please post a better translation. Remember, last time I learned Arabic when I was 11 years old. Now I am 27!

Angry, Blah Blah, They said what?

I really needed chocolate today.. I REALLY REALLY DID!

ANNOYING CHOCOLATE SONG

I just noticed that after hearing this song more than 2 times it gets fucken annoying!

Updated May 7th @ 12:24 pm: I HAD TO REMOVE THE SONG AND I AM JUST PUTTING A LINK TO IT. IT’S SO ANNOYING TO BE VISIBLE ON MY SITE. I am getting TORTURED by it! :annoyed:

My taste of Music

One woman I keep seeing every day has white long hair and a big grin! HUGE GRIN! I don’t know what’s wrong with her. Even when she is silent and barely gazing, her mouth is in a huge grin like shape. I keep looking in astonishment wondering if she kept doing that all through her young years and it got STUCK! An ever lasting grin.

I think people will really take offense of her at a funeral. :hmph:

Another woman I saw on the bus made me wonder about her style. She had no style. Well boy style. I didn’t want to even wonder what her sexual orientation is, but to me, any woman that wears men’s jeans is strange. I don’t care how much you weigh, even if it is close to half a ton, there are clothes made for women! Even plain wide no shape at all jeans that are made for women!

I really didn’t want to see the tag of her Levi jeans with the size displaying 44in x 30in. I really didn’t want to see it! Even if you are a guy and wear that size, go for a jog why don’t you!?

Angry, Blah Blah, Whatever!