My mama will bite you while you are sleeping

Although my mom drives me insane, and vice versa on my part, she will always be funny. She will always provide me good content to write about on my site. Few minutes ago was one of them.

My mom is different, if you think I am a crazy, blunt and a sarcastic person, well, I had to learn from the best, and dear God my mom is 10 times worse than me. People who don’t even know her and just met her can tell that she has charisma and tough.

That’s why I grew up to be defensive and retaliate ever so quickly, it’s cause of HER!

So what did my mom say today that made me laugh so much and think, dear God, I love being the spawn that came out of her!

Mom gets a lot of phone calls and such from people, and few minutes ago was pretty funny. It was a lady who wanted something for a wedding that is in the end of July, and my mom is going to Lebanon next week for 5 weeks. So she kept telling her I WON’T BE HERE! Why you people in a hurry?

After she ended the call and she was helping me iron something so delicate to wear for the wedding I am going to in a few hours, she then sits there talking to me so loud in utter disgust and I am like wow.

This is a rough translation. Obviously my mom only speaks Arabic to me!

She said, “Arab men in Canada are wusses! They are spoiled brats and want their moms to do everything for them. Even find them a bride. Who the hell picks a bride from a picture!? That’s the stupidest thing that people are doing till now. What year is this? I didn’t even do that. Our family is not that stupid. You want to get married, YOU find SOMEONE! Not your mom.”

I looked at her with eyes wide open and shock. She was talking about a particular stupid ass hole that we ALL know and hate through my blog.

You know what’s funny? My ex-boss is hilarious. I see him every week for lunch. Although in the back of his head he still thinks he is my boss, and I still think he is my boss, but him suggesting that I should just take the rest of the afternoon off yesterday and relax was completely funny. I was like ah? Anyways, he just works downtown and it is easy for me to go meet up with him for lunch. So yesterday morning on the phone he asks me where I wanted to go for lunch, and I didn’t really care. As long as I eat. So he said, “anywhere but this Shawarma place.” I thought, aah.. ok. I wasn’t in the mood for Shawarma to even suggest it. He then said, “I don’t want to see HIM anymore. I am sick of it. The first time was a fluke, but not again at the same place. He hangs out there.” Every time he mentions him I just laugh. I feel he hates him more than me, but I have an excuse. A bloody long excuse. But my ex-boss? Well? I think it is just a mutual agreement.

Then I told my best friend Lisa about it, and she said, “aren’t you afraid to see him? Like ever? In the street. He lives in your city! The chances are so high.”

I kept thinking about it and wondering what if? But then again, meh. I wouldn’t cry about it, and just look at him in disgust. That’s about it.

Funny, They said what?, Whatever!