For every action there is an opposite and absurd reaction

The human heart is very weak. I noticed that a lot from various types of people. People cannot handle difficult situations very well. I know. I am the queen that holds that title. Yet, I learned the hard way to not act irrationally or try to end a difficult unpleasant situation by doing something completely unjustifiable. I remember one day, hmm, about 6 years ago, I was very pissed. I was completely pissed and depressed that I couldn’t handle it. So I bought a pack of cigarettes. I tried to light one and I inhaled and I just fell off my chair coughing violently. I threw it out and threw out the pack. I thought to my self why the fuck would anyone do this to them self? It’s purely disgusting. Worse than kissing a smoker. Aghhh!!

I learned my lesson then. Don’t do anything stupid when you are pissed. Hitting your head against the wall is less damaging than inhaling toxic fumes.

That was my absurd reaction, but was it?

I know people who have done worse things. Worse reactions to situations that they cannot handle. One of them is desperately finding a mate. By mate I don’t mean an immediate satisfaction by having a new girlfriend/boyfriend. No. It is an instant need of a marriage partner. That I never understood. That’s actually worse than breaking up with someone.

I know many people who went through that route to “get over” someone or to “prove” to them selves and everyone they are desirable by someone else. On the contrary, they are not. They just want “anything” and are satisfied by anything. Due to their ill judgment and need to be loved by “someone” so badly, the result is seldom gratifying. It is usually worse than the first time, a lot worse.

However, I don’t feel bad for those people. I pity them for making such decisions. It’s usually a decision influenced by their family members and friends. “Get over him/her and prove to them you are better and you can find someone else so quickly. Unlike him/her.” Typical reaction.

Try taking time to your self to figure out what you really want from life and what type of person you want to love and love you back.

Why I was never put in this situation? Although I was told numerous time to get over it and just find someone else, but yah.. and? My problem is that I mentally cannot stand it anymore. I don’t want anyone, and the need to find someone else ever so quickly doesn’t cross my mind. I tried it before. I wasn’t satisfying my self when I did that. I was only satisfying the situation. It just doesn’t work that way. It’s not as easy as just packing up everything in a suitcase and moving to another unfamiliar place and excepting to just “fit in” and life would just return to normal. It doesn’t work that way. It never does.

Each of us has their own way of dealing with any difficult situation. Some of us don’t know what to do and rely on others to guide us. However, how do they know what we are really feeling to give us such advice? I give advice to people sometimes, but I just end up saying, “do what you want. It’s your life. No one else’s.”

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Whatever!