Warning: don’t ever do what I am doing

Why am I blogging a lot lately? Although I really hate blogging now, but I find that I need it to speak about things that bother me. And a lot of things bother me!

So today I spent my afternoon in agonizing stomach pain. This time I think I over did it. I don’t eat normal food or drink anything other than Coca Cola. I drink about 4 or 5 cans of Coca Cola a day. I quit drinking Cola in the morning, but is 11 am still considered morning? So my stomach is not only screwed up, but probably tearing apart as we speak. Why didn’t I stop this addiction of mine? I did a few months ago when I started having internal bleeding and major uncontrollable diarrhea episodes. So I stopped drinking it.

That only lasted a week. After a week not only was I nauseated and bitchy, but I felt lost. I don’t really eat junk food. The only thing I do eat is chocolate. Sometimes I go 2 or 3 weeks without eating chocolate and I don’t crave it at all. Yet, Cola, daily. Almost every 2 or 3 hours of my afternoon I have a Cola can in my hand.

So how did I become addicted?

I don’t know. I think it became a mental toxin and stomach ruiner. I don’t eat much at all anymore. Like I don’t enjoy food what so ever. But I have to drink Cola.

Why am I talking about Cola now? I think I did before on my blog a while ago. Well, I am sick. Like really sick. I spent my afternoon in the bathroom and I am just feeling really tired and no energy. I don’t know how to stop my addiction. It got to the point where I just don’t give a crap anymore what will happen to my stomach walls. All that acid. Poor me.

Why am I like this today? Well, you try spending your day when you can’t hear at all from your right ear. I can’t hear anything. Even when I talk on the phone, I cannot hear ANYTHING. Not only is it frustrating, but I am tired of saying, “what” every two seconds. I cannot hear someone calling me. I cannot hear the house phone half the time. My cell phone, I put it on extra loud! That didn’t even help in public places and I just hook up the microphone to it so I know I got a call or SMS. It is just frustrating that I cannot be in a crowd of people and not be able to hear fully. Some people suggested ear cleaning. Believe me, my ears are clean, and my problem is that I did go to an Audiologist last October and the dude told me that I do need a hearing aide. But why does my ear bother me more now than last week or before? I am sitting here and I feel EXTREME pressure. I feel like I am in an air plane and my ears are about to burst.

So I am a bit frustrated with my self. I think that’s why all I do is just drink cola and wish the pressure in my ears would go away. Sometimes the pressure hurts. Really hurts.

So what am I doing now? I actually got hungry and I made spaghetti. Plain spaghetti and I cut out some cheese pieces and threw it on the top of it. And what do I have to accompany my dinner? Yep. My third but not last can of Cola. The rest of my night time supply is getting cooled in the fridge.

I think I am going to die cause of Cola and my frustration of being half deaf. Sucks to be me.

Advice, Blah Blah, Whatever!