Do I want help? Or just someone to listen to me?
I used to think that I had people to trust and to talk to all the time. I tell them my problems, and they listen. That’s all I want really, a shoulder to cry on. Yet, I don’t get that feeling anymore from some people. I find some people are trying to listen and find a solution to satisfy them selves in the end. I am very ambitious but I don’t like to discuss it with some people. I want great things to happen to me and I will never give up. However, some people think that I will be satisfied with anything as long as it is a solution to my immediate need to change. What about the future? Isn’t that something to look forward to?
Ah.. you see the future is exactly where I want to be now. Yet, that’s not the case for some people because I will be at their level and that’s not what they want. You learn a lot about people and their real intentions from small conversations and discussing these future ambitions. I find it funny how people envy your ambitions and don’t even want you to reach them.
Who can a person trust now a days to talk to?
Now I am at work distracting my self by writing this post because I am so sick of working. I am now back to square one and debugging this shitty software I made and because I hate it with a passion, and was the number one reason I wanted to leave so bad, I totally screwed it up. I have no idea how to fix it, and I don’t even want to. I want to keep dragging it on and on till I leave. I keep thinking, well, that’s not right. You see, people like me feel guilty really fast. I keep thinking about it and not knowing what to do really. I will just keep dragging it and see what I can fix. God I hate this life of mine and this stupid job that I should have left years ago when I had the chance! God I am stupid!














I just typed a lonng comment and lost it!
Ok, I will brief it for you, just do not fully give trust to just anyone and even when you feel like confiding, don’t spill it all out. I know we need relief by opening up bas people are selfish now and you never know how things will end up. better safe than sorry girl !
mona !, if its possible go ‘n’ excuse yer self and leave early , u really need a hot cup of mocachino.
these feeling u hav r groin stronger by the minute ‘n’ thats all i can say now.
allah ykon m3ake, m3lesh tawlee balek.
—-
viva la rebelliousarabgirl
Well I’m at work distracting myself by reading this
When I *should* be fixing up some web pages that I just don’t feel like doing…
Thank you guys for the advice. I really appreciate it!
i know i must listen more and talk less
but :
wallah inek sha3nonah wo mahdomah .
and i like my future friends 2 be as happy as i am
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first you must be confident that only you can help you ! we are just a compas to help ya sort things out
( woohoo !! wat a lame excuse 2 avoid tellin an advice lol)
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second you must also understand that some one’s suggestion might not fit ya, but hell ! they lived and survived so there experience must hav some benifits of its own ( there r not reflecting them self on u , they r just eager 2 help prolly thinkin they reached the love guru level lol or worse dr phill stats !! ) but they mean no harm
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third ,calm yer self mona , take a deep breath , priase the lord if its help.
or just act like wassouf basha !! ( 7el 3ana ya ! )
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forth ( mohammad el sadeq el rafe3y said : one cant be his own misure, and one standards are formed by his enviroment ).
and i say ( knowing who u r , is also admitting wat your not )..damn ! that is deep lol actually i got it from – gossip girl -.
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fifth, you r a part of this formula of life, some like 2 think earth will stop spinin arround when they gone, but the hard fact is not ( there u go ! i just revealed a star war secret ,lol)
so u must allways..and i mean allways be stronger than the outcome…better than the regular.
after all prophet mohammad said :
heaven’s way is filled with the outmost that one hate
tareeq al janah ma7fof bel makareh.
i ask lord to embrace u with a big heart 2 take life as it comes..and big mind 2 figuer a way making best out of wat ya get…( sho beddek kaman !! wallah mafe 7ada da3alee heek, bas hayne bajanen lol)
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sixth, we survive day-to-day life but we lose sight of our priorities and purpose.
dont be a scedule freak…niether let go even for a second yer priorities :
a sophistique ‘n’ artistique = sarcastique just add a lebaneez tabola and that will be u !!
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now we are ready to talk.
allah be3enek inno ana ktheer 7akee !!
number one : hating the job
love yer life…do things wild..and make yer dream big
( mine is having my abs ‘n’ muscle in a professional level normally within the comin 2 years…and learning japaneez…and finally hav a family buisness to save up for my litlle brother college ..ooh and open a goth emo fashion line store !..and many other wierd things lol)
some people go way beyond there heads by creating a plan that they can not only live with but also stick to ( those aint futuristic’s …those r nutts )
you will notice those people behaving or even respondin to the smallest change with a pile of drama ;
cuz simply they want better results than what they are getting right now by just doing the same pace
wat is a job mona ? its just a way to make money
do u have 2 enjoy it ? yeah right !! like all the people actually enjoy there work
anything that requier doing somthin for others or doing some computer debugging or just answerin calls
these are all things u do for other’s…maybe for the company net sale..or after sale service
but at the end its not for u …so basically this movment of makin people ( love ) there jobs is actually like ( hypnotizing the woker )
” u only do the job cuz u understand its lines and science…”
when u love logic…and questing the truth..
when u admire an open mind or open ( source )
when u understand that more info means more control
when u realize that having the individuality is like having a ( variable ) and knowing some life wisdome is like having a ( compiler machine )
u r a computer or technology fanatic
((( but ))
does that mean u have to debug for living ?
does that mean that u will never have yer own software idea ? or a development company ?
does that mean u r set only 2 fix ..not 2 create ?
does loving a design make ya systimatic or a matrix freak ?
hell no !!!..
mona ya mona…yer job is temporary..at least until u hav enough market experience and data tracing knowledge at a level allowes u 2 open yer own company
(go back 2 yer company -h.r – department ‘n’ ask for some work guidence )
(change the daily work pattern, by some randomizing)
(bond more with co-workers, share there box of hate feelings against the job )
(change the route u use back home, check a new cafe’..)
make it (dis liking the job insted of hating it )
and if u r in middle of a work remeber :
inn allah yo7eb iza 3amel a7adokom 3amalan an utqenah
so if u cant finish yer work perfectly..that goes against yer nature…so calm down..’n’ finish it soon
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number tow : not bonding with my life
its ( your life )
u have (yer own way)
all u need is :
get more possitive people arround ya..and for heaven sake dont wacth ( arabic comercials..its depressing)
there u go !…yes thats all i can say
u know why..cuz anything else is useless unless its a face to face talk
and ( u have friends in real world for that )
call yer mom…a relative u trust
or yer highe school friends…they know u better than me
—
and again…may allah ye7fazek.
(( and all i charge for this life passion guru session is only a promise ))
promise me u work harder on yer self
and god forbid !! even try out-reach the real world more often
and plz pretty plz stay away from youga lol
(( yallah 3ad !! kefaya dala3 ya za3ra ))
guess wat my job is now ?
didnt finish computer science degree cuz no money
so i set for financial economy later and graduated with ( maqbool !! )
my mother side family is fading away – she is iraqqy originally from turkey and all we get is phone calls bout a relative killed or kidnapped.
my father side is palistiney and the same goes arround
they kicked us from kwait in 1991
i used 2 sell grapes on the streets back then !( an eight year old angry kid !)
and now after workin like a bee in damn data entry
i hav 2 look up for new work…so..im saving money 2 get higher degree and a c.m.a course by selling second hand metal’s and soda cans that i collect !
and still pushing the envelope of my c.v in every financial corp avoiding banks cuz family against it !
but look at me…having fun in my spare time reading yer blogs ‘n’ i never let life beats me
some ppl swear they think im from a rich family cuz i read classy ‘n’ act like it..
(( having brutal alcer , twisted sinus , blood pressure , and a case of bad bad tan lines lol ))
and remeber :
viva la rebelliousarabgirl :whee:
Longest. Comment. Ever.
Seriously you have to help yourself, take action and then change will come your way.
nice comment moe you really have lived a hard life and are here to teach by example.
from my experiences your future will unfold the more you recite it. which is to say, share it! like u stated you dont like to share it, but try at least telling your closest friends that way you can gain input and you can understand truly where you want to go in life. i find it hard to believe that people wouldnt want you to reach your goals by critisizing you.
i work at a cafe and all the people ive told about my future are very much in support for me. i have met only a handful of sour grapes and even they had ears to hear me out.
btw….your not stupid… :whoa:
It’s like I am hearing myself talking
Your so complicated Mona… I think I am going to write a new post about you soon… I seem to be finding new sides to you.
An in depth analysis of me eh? lol
I dont know if there would be much point… I think it would mostly be irelivent by next month
I think I am going to give you a nickname…. Enigma
Enigma eh? Of all the crap I written on my site and you think I am an enigma.. lol ok!!