Traditions or closed mindedness?

Well, I am moody and pissed! go figure! you see, you are right about some kids lying to their parents who are that way only because it’s the way Arab societies work you know.. we can’t disregard religion obviously in this case bas the traditions play an important role, especially for us females. But we can’t really generalize on that because some parents are willing to be open minded to some degree of course. How about having parents that don’t care? Or one of them at least.. Wouldn’t that result in even worst cases? I am currently not happy with a couple of things at home.. I used to be a rebel, not listen and act the opposite just like you till I learned my lesson the hard way.. still am but it sure is nice when you go home to someone who cares.. ahh Mona,this is a tough subject

I find that a lot of parents act a certain way to keep up appearances in front of their friends, co-workers and their cultural community. I pray to God I don’t carry that with me.

You can either gather your courage and tell your parents how u feel about them and how much they have been a failure in raising you,one way to do that is to write them a letter expressing your feelings. Or you can just pack your stuff and leave…Why are you putting yourself through this misery?? I personally think your parents should kick you out :laugh: ..Or maybe some people,sadly some grown ups, tend to blame others for all the shit they’re going through without taking any responsibility..Just do something about it and don’t count on sympathy on cyberspace to do you any good or boast your self-esteem.

Peace

إذا رأيت نيوب الليث بارزة ** فلا تظننّ أن الليث يبتسمُ

Just wanted to chime that this is so true, it’s not even funny. It’s not sad or depressing, either, more a fact of life like the mid-east Sun; you just live with it. You got seared by the parents? Well tough luck, you know how parents are, you should have avoided it somehow.

I guess I hope, like June, to avoid turning into them. Now that’s the hard part. :/

You can’t change the older generation. They’re wired that way after all these years. And when you grow up your kids will say the same about you.

The only person you can change is you. You can influence others but you can’t possibly change them unless they decide to change themselves.

Dear Mona, unfortunately it is mostly for their sake and this very selfish. Moreover, this is not something unique to Arab world, this is something universal. Maybe statistically it is being seen less in Western cultures but basically it is universal.

It is very important to express anger. You should keep expressing your anger or you would become less healthy, especially mentally.

Well, something I forgot to mention… Same here with the coffee. I love turkish coffee and drink usually 3 cups a day (by cups, I mean mugs). It is interesting that for the majority of people coffee is adding to their anxiety (for caffeine is a stimulant) but for me it is a tool for relaxation. I sometimes even have coffee at night before sleep to get some relaxation.

Hey, found your blog via Problogger. This post just blew my mind. If I got it right, my parents are just like yours. But I am not sure if its old generation thing, you know. In my case, I think they are hardwired somehow to see only extremities. Although I am from Bangladesh, the social structure may be great influence on them. Mine just push me whenever they feel I am not doing what everyone else is doing, which really bugs me.

Anyway, enough complaining. Good luck

I’m not sure it’s just Arab parents that nag, but I think Arab parents tend to nag their daughters more than their sons.

I understand how having a blog helps. I feel my family has gotten to know me better by reading my blog than by living with me for a few decades!

Having said that, my dad was very nontraditional in the way he raised us. Something he may have regretted later since I turned agnostic.

I think the best arrangement is when one has their parents close enough to visit once a week or so but not in the same house which can be suffocating!

Well, this something every Arab girl in Earth suffers from especially when it comes to living in a country other than yours my dear. To be honest with you, I used to have the same when dad was alive!!
Don’t be shocked, but I swear I miss it now!
Part of me missing is is because I MISS HIM around and part of it is my mom being changed because she lost him!!

Am I making sense, sorry!! My mind is being blocked I guess!!