Comments on: Traditions or closed mindedness?

By: Sawsan

Sawsan — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 14:05:01 +0000

Well, this something every Arab girl in Earth suffers from especially when it comes to living in a country other than yours my dear. To be honest with you, I used to have the same when dad was alive!!
Don’t be shocked, but I swear I miss it now!
Part of me missing is is because I MISS HIM around and part of it is my mom being changed because she lost him!!

Am I making sense, sorry!! My mind is being blocked I guess!!

By: Hani Obaid

Hani Obaid — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 19:55:58 +0000

I’m not sure it’s just Arab parents that nag, but I think Arab parents tend to nag their daughters more than their sons.

I understand how having a blog helps. I feel my family has gotten to know me better by reading my blog than by living with me for a few decades!

Having said that, my dad was very nontraditional in the way he raised us. Something he may have regretted later since I turned agnostic.

I think the best arrangement is when one has their parents close enough to visit once a week or so but not in the same house which can be suffocating!

By: Farah

Farah — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 20:13:07 +0000

Hey, found your blog via Problogger. This post just blew my mind. If I got it right, my parents are just like yours. But I am not sure if its old generation thing, you know. In my case, I think they are hardwired somehow to see only extremities. Although I am from Bangladesh, the social structure may be great influence on them. Mine just push me whenever they feel I am not doing what everyone else is doing, which really bugs me.

Anyway, enough complaining. Good luck

By: Osman S Borutecene

Osman S Borutecene — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:01:09 +0000

Well, something I forgot to mention… Same here with the coffee. I love turkish coffee and drink usually 3 cups a day (by cups, I mean mugs). It is interesting that for the majority of people coffee is adding to their anxiety (for caffeine is a stimulant) but for me it is a tool for relaxation. I sometimes even have coffee at night before sleep to get some relaxation.

By: Osman S Borutecene

Osman S Borutecene — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:52:25 +0000

Dear Mona, unfortunately it is mostly for their sake and this very selfish. Moreover, this is not something unique to Arab world, this is something universal. Maybe statistically it is being seen less in Western cultures but basically it is universal.

It is very important to express anger. You should keep expressing your anger or you would become less healthy, especially mentally.

By: KJ

KJ — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:33:31 +0000

You can’t change the older generation. They’re wired that way after all these years. And when you grow up your kids will say the same about you.

The only person you can change is you. You can influence others but you can’t possibly change them unless they decide to change themselves.

By: Mek

Mek — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:02:19 +0000

Just wanted to chime that this is so true, it’s not even funny. It’s not sad or depressing, either, more a fact of life like the mid-east Sun; you just live with it. You got seared by the parents? Well tough luck, you know how parents are, you should have avoided it somehow.

I guess I hope, like June, to avoid turning into them. Now that’s the hard part. :/

By: Nana

Nana — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 05:48:14 +0000

You can either gather your courage and tell your parents how u feel about them and how much they have been a failure in raising you,one way to do that is to write them a letter expressing your feelings. Or you can just pack your stuff and leave…Why are you putting yourself through this misery?? I personally think your parents should kick you out :laugh: ..Or maybe some people,sadly some grown ups, tend to blame others for all the shit they’re going through without taking any responsibility..Just do something about it and don’t count on sympathy on cyberspace to do you any good or boast your self-esteem.

Peace

By: JuneLatina

JuneLatina — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 03:48:18 +0000

I find that a lot of parents act a certain way to keep up appearances in front of their friends, co-workers and their cultural community. I pray to God I don’t carry that with me.

By: Mona

Mona — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:39:18 +0000

I don’t have a problem with the non-caring part. On the contrary, they care too much but sometimes I wonder if it is for my sake or for their own sake? Like is it for their gratification in front of people or for the sake of their kids?