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Why do we hold grudges?

9/09/08 @ 8:52 pm

I hold grudges, and I hold grudges forever. I think I am born that way. Some people say I am revengeful, but in reality I am not. I don’t like revenge because I am lazy. That takes effort which I am not willing to do. However, I do hold grudges. Once I stop liking someone because of what they did to me, or what they said to me or about me, I just tend to ignore them forever.

Maybe it is not the right thing to do. Sometimes I do get pissed at people, but I let it go after a while because it was not worth it to begin with. Well, other times I just have every reason to never talk to this person again for what they did. Other people, let’s say they are not worth my time to begin with and I just rather hold a grudge and ignore them forever than bother to deal with them again.

How many people have I held grudges against? Since I don’t have many friends, I would say many many many many people. It is not that I am anti-social or anti-friendship. On the contrary, I am a quiet person who likes her privacy and her space. Once someone invades that space uninvited and starts talking nonsense about me without a valid reason, then I will just not talk to them again. It is better for me and for them.

Why do I do that? Simple. I don’t like being fake at all towards people that I don’t like. Why should I pretend to like someone? What do I gain? I don’t like them. End of story. So why the fakeness?

That’s why I am anti-fake, and I maybe someday I will loose this habit of holding grudges and let things go.

So holding grudges means to ignore people so you no longer be fake with your feelings towards them. I found a definition for holding a grudge on Wikitionary which needs some refinement. It says this, “To stay angry (at someone or something) far longer than is reasonable.” I didn’t like it because it is not FAR longer than reasonable yet, they deserved it!

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Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!



  1. September 9th, 2008 at 21:53 | #1

    i could relate well with you. i don’t really hold grudges, I just have the tendency to be cool or ignore other people who either pisses me off or I just don’t like.

    Some people say at times I could be anti-social or unfriendly but I like it that way. I prefer being quiet rather than listening or pretending to like someone I am annoyed with.I have aversion to is making chit chats and small talks. Its just so hard for me to say things I don’t really mean.

    I do have friends and I like having them. But they are just few and they are the one’s I know I could really count on and accepts me the way I really am.

  2. jade
    September 9th, 2008 at 22:09 | #2

    All I gotta say is, I would rather hold a grudge towards someone, than forgive and forget, because as we all know, the wheel keeps on turning, and history keeps repeating itself.
    After all that I have experienced in my life, I discovered that I have more foes than friends. Maybe it’s because I say what’s on my mind without hesistation or to even try to sugar coat it..why be fake..when i can save myself future obstacles?

  3. September 10th, 2008 at 10:26 | #3

    I have a huge grudge against one person, and one person only! She hurt me emotionally very badly in high school and I still don’t understand why she did what she did – I think that is why I’m still holding the grudge.

  4. September 10th, 2008 at 15:16 | #4

    I am that way too I dont speak to people when they do me wrong because I just feel that you screw me over once thats my fault.. do it again well thats my fault for forgiving you and 3rd time… well its your loss because I cut you completely out of my life . I am like you I think its better for me than for them. I move on and forget about them and dont think about them again and they’re never welcome to talk to me again!

    ~ Christopher ~

    http://cmarlow480.blogspot.com/

  5. Brian
    September 10th, 2008 at 20:45 | #5

    a grudge is one of the heaviest things to carry. it weighs the saint down and keeps the sinner going. you guys know this but i would like to take a moment and reiterate in my own words; forget it and move on, and when that individual comes poking around ignore them and don’t add fuel to the fire. unless of course you like a good fight :twisted:

  6. September 11th, 2008 at 01:56 | #6

    You have to learn to let go because you’re really only stressing yourself and exhausting your energy

  1. September 9th, 2008 at 22:11 | #1
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