I may sound like a hypocrite right now, but I miss being needed at work. Maybe it’s a female motherly instinct, but I miss work. Not the work environment obviously, but I miss someone wanting my services and for me to deliver something in return. I know I kept telling my self that I will never miss work, but I do at times. Maybe it will take some time for me to transition into a self-indulged human being who’s current aim in life is trying to figure out what she wants to do in this lifetime. It’s hard to think of what you want when your mind is running around in millions of directions.
I tried to force my self to start doing freelance work, but I lost interest in looking into it. Sometimes I have great ideas of starting my own business, and I start building towards it, but I can’t force my self to start thinking beyond a dream. Maybe I just need a bit more imagination and determination before I start something big.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever apply for jobs again. Right now I don’t want to. I don’t have the patience to go to interviews anymore and being let down. I just need sufficient time to think about what I really want from life. Do I want to be a member of the corporate world again? Or do I want to take matters in my own hands?
I think I am a typical 80′s child who wants so much, but doesn’t know which direction to take; just aimless.